What Will Your Legacy Be?
by Ducky2196
Summary: AU. Gabby and Matt meet and are instantly at each others throats but as time goes on, things change. How do they cope when things do change and are they able to manage as they do? Who do you lean on when you need it the most? Multichapter Dawsey T possible M at some stage
1. High Horse

**Hey all! So here in my new story! I want to thank Rebecca (ItsWhatIWrite – if you don't know her stuff…go check it out! Its awesome) for helping me with this, for bouncing ideas and for editing my chapters, it means a lot to me!**

 **I hope you all like it, please let me know what you think!**

 **Now that I am all caught up on Game Of Thrones… OMG! …I will be able to spend more time writing so these chapters (and that of When Things Happen To Change) should come fairly consistently, at least I hope so.**

 **Before I start however; lets take a minute to talk about Chicago Fire and Dawsey! The writers have put too much time and effort into creating the idea of both Matt and Gabby being parents or having a family for Matt not to be with Gabby at the end of this season. Dawsey will be fine, I honestly, truly believe that, it only makes sense to have them together, both Jesse and Monica love their characters together and the writers have said they are the backbone relationship of the show so I have faith.**

 **Now on to the story! :D**

* * *

 **Chapter 1 – High Horse**

"You know what? Fuck you Severide all right! I'm sick and tired of this shit, get off your fucking high horse!" Matt didn't even wait for a reply, no doubt it would have been an array of profanities sent his way but he was over it; tired of the same old argument each week, tired of Kelly bringing up the same thing day in and day out. Rising from the couch, Matt reached for his keys and his phone before opening the front door, letting it slam loudly as it closed behind him.

Kelly watched as Matt left the apartment, he should have expect Matt to react the way he had, but he wanted to talk to him, he wanted to bring up what he had been thinking for a while, the things that had been bothering him for a while. He listened as the walls shook as the door slammed, shaking his head before moving back his own room; no doubt he was going to hear Matt when he came home.

Matt was furious! How dare Severide pull him up the way he had been? He of all people should be able to understand what Matt was going through, or at least understand why he was acting the way he was. Sure he would spends nights hanging his head over the toilet because he had drank so much his body couldn't hold it in and he knew that wasn't good for him, but at this point he didn't care. And Kelly Severide, king of drowning his sorrows should not be running his mouth about what Matt should and should not be doing.

Pushing opening the old heavy door to Molly's, Matt sucked in a deep, warm breath, it was cold outside so it was nice to walk into a warm room. It was almost midnight and Molly's was pretty full but there was always a bar stool ready for him, or at least that's how it felt recently, he had been spending a fair amount of time there.

"Hey lieutenant." Herman was already in front of him with a beer as he sat down, knowing that look he had meant that he wanted a drink and he wanted it yesterday. If Herman had his way, he would be sending Matt right back where he had come from, knowing that his lieutenant was falling off the deep end but felt that if he drank at the bar, he could monitor what he was drinking and how much he was drinking and just keep an eye on him.

Reaching for the beer Matt sighed, "Hey Herman, busy tonight?" He may have been pissed and well, pissed off, but Matt wasn't a dick, he had no issues having a chat while he drowned himself in alcohol. It also helped to try and prove to Herman that he wasn't drunk already, that he hadn't sat in his living room for the last 4 hours finishing off the six-pack that had been cooling in the fridge.

Of course he knew this was stupid, of course he knew that drinking wasn't going to solve his problems, make him forget or even make him feel better but he just wasn't sure what else he could do. Everything he did reminded him of that day, everywhere he went _she_ would be there.

And he hated it.

When he was on shift, he was professional, like nothing had happened; he was 100% sober and never made a mistake, always the first one to stand up for his men, have their backs if needed. On his construction jobs he was the same old Matt, meticulous, professional, hard working but the minute he got home, the top of a bottle was being popped, usually the first of many and he would eventually wake up on the couch, feeling like shit but getting right back into work.

Herman nodded, "Yeah we have been, I think I need another pair of hands." He laughed before moving to the other side of the bar, taking orders, laughing and talking, leaving Matt to sit by himself, his drink in his hand and his head down.

Sighing Herman, looked down the bar, his smile falling as he watched his lieutenant, the man who was usually so strong, so strong willed and so calm, he was falling apart, losing himself in his own pain. Herman didn't know what to do to help him, he had never seen Matt like this before, and so he just placed another beer in front of his lieutenant and let the night wear on.

As the night continued, or so it had felt, Matt sighed as he looked down at his beer, half finished, as much as he had been drowning his sorrows in alcohol lately. He had seemed to lose interest in the drink he had in his hands, instead he had lost himself in the replay of the past weeks hockey game that was being shown on the TV, his eyes focused on the screen intently.

That was until someone bumped into his side, laughter in his ears that made him shudder, it was light and happy and carefree. There was a part of him that wanted to smile, that sound was almost like music to his ears, her laugh was infectious, if only he could have let it flow over him.

Turning in his seat he eyed the girl who stood there, dark skin, dark hair, bright, wide smile on her face. She too turned towards him, her hand reaching out to touch his shoulder, "I am so sorry, I didn't mean to bump you. Are you alright?"

But Matt just eyed her for a moment, she was beautiful but he had let the alcohol take over him and he huffed turning back to face the front.

In the moment of silence the girl watched him, she hadn't meant to knock him, she had apologised for doing so and yet here he was, huffing and brushing her off. "Hey, I apologised alright. Don't have to be a dick about it." This caused Matt to turn again, he really shouldn't have been angry, he really shouldn't have bitten back but he was drunk and he was quickly losing patience with this beautiful girl.

"And you said it now, if you don't mind…" He turned again, he was never the sort of person who would abuse a girl, not that he was sexist just believed that he had more self control, especially if the girl really hadn't don't anything wrong.

As he continued to stare forward he head a scoff and an _asshole_ fall from her lips before she spoke to Herman. This girl was clearly a regular, addressing him by name, Hermann returning the favour, although Matt mad missed the name that tumbled from Hermann lips. With one last sideways glance the girl grabbed her drinks and moved away, leaving Matt with a stern looking Herman. "You know 'tenant she did apologise…"

It was clear that Herman had seen what had happened between them but Matt was too far-gone to care, he was tired and angry and sad and just wanted to sit in peace but that wasn't going to happen. So he stood, throwing some money onto the counter before making his way out of Molly's not even bothering to glance back at the girl who huffed when she saw him leave.

* * *

Gabby needed a drink, she had had a long day on shift the night before and just needed to have a bit of fun, so when she had gotten a text from Shay inviting her out to Molly's for the night, she had jumped at the opportunity.

There was a lot going on in her life, she had been single for a while, her ex causing more damage than she thought possible and also for being an ass who wanted nothing more than just sex, so much so he would find it elsewhere when she was on shift. She had hated the fact that she had let him into her life, there were so many warning bells that she had ignored and she only had herself to blame for that but she was moving on, enjoying her life, enjoying her job and enjoying spending time with her friends.

Moving through the crowd, Gabby moved along with the music, earning a few glances from some of the men that were at the bar but she wasn't interested, all she wanted was a drink and to enjoy herself. As she moved over to the counter she caught Herman's eyes, thankful that she knew him well because she didn't have to wait long to be served but as she came to the bar she had to step out the way of the person leaving, accidentally bumping into the man sitting at her side, she placed her hand on his shoulder, steadying herself but also using it to calm him down as well.

"I am so sorry, I didn't mean to bump you. Are you alright?" She looked over to the man, his bright blue eyes staring back at her, his face stoic. She blinked, waiting for something to come for his mouth but all she received was a huff before turning away from her.

Gabby watched him, shocked that he was being so rude to her after she had apologised, it was an accident after all. The place was busy, she was sure it wasn't the first time someone had bumped him but here he was brushing her off rudely. Gabby was never the sort of person to hold her tongue, she would bite if she felt it necessary.

And bite she did, "Hey, I apologised alright. Don't have to be a dick about it." This caused the man to turned back to her, his blue eyes darker this time, maybe she shouldn't have said anything, she didn't know how he was going to react but he was being a dick and she was going to call him on it.

The man huffed again, this time speaking to her, "And you said it now, if you don't mind…" before he turned away once more, bringing his drink to his lips.

Gabby scoffed, "Asshole" before turning to Herman she took the drinks he had placed down her for, before glancing to her side as she turned away, wanting to say something else to the man but decided against it.

It only took her a moment for her to reach Shay and her friends; handing out drinks she watched as Shay smiled, "What happened?" She knew her too well, it was clearly written on her face that she was pissed about something suddenly, taking her drink from Gabby she waited for a reply.

"Oh nothing, just a prick at the bar that's all." They both looked towards the bar, hoping that Gabby could point him out to Shay but with the amount of people already standing there it had become to hard to see him. She just shrugged it off, turning back to her friends, laughter taking over them all. Shay glanced over Gabby's shoulder, her smile fading for a moment, realising who she was motioning to, her brow furrowing before turning back to Gabby.

* * *

Sliding into bed Matt groaned, his head had already started to pound, the alcohol had taken over his sense already, but it was at this time that his mind would drive him crazy. He would remember every touch, every word, every look and every feeling that he had ever had while with her and he hated it. I made him feel sick, it made him feel angry and it also made him sad.

Sighing he lay in the silence of his bedroom, the quiet only being interrupted by the sounds of the very few cars outside; the lateness of the night adding the silence outside. He was staring at the stark white ceiling, why did he have to pain it so white? He was still so angry, so full of hatred and resentment that he was barely sleeping and any time he _was_ sleeping, it was full of her face, that smile and those eyes and that pain.

Swearing under his breath, Matt rolled onto his stomach, the movement causing his head to spin, the alcohol really starting to affect him, thankful he was laying down at least, he focussed on the bright red flickering of his alarm clock, the time ticking down till 6am, when his alarm would sound and he would force himself from his bed and back to work.

* * *

 _Work._

Somewhere Matt didn't really want to be, somewhere where he couldn't really hide away for too long, the sounds of laughter and happiness slowly killing him. He tried to be happy, tried to at least look happy to stop people from asking how he was all the time.

It had worked, for the most part, the people he worked with had stopped asking how he was doing and even though he knew they meant well, it was starting to frustrate him. Kelly and Hermann on the other hand, while they didn't ask how he was, they would watch him, keep a close eye on what he was doing and he could tell when they wanted to say something but didn't. He didn't blame them though; there were a few times where he had brushed them off rather harshly when they had mentioned it.

 _Matt had seen Kelly watching him from the corner of his eyes for the better part of the day, his hands wrapped around the coffee mug, debating whether to say something or not. Matt had been out most of the night, barely getting out of bed before midday; Kelly was really starting to worry now. He was now talking about heading out to Molly's, his third drink in his hand already, midnight fast approaching._

 _Sighing, Matt turned the page on the paper he was reading, not bothering to look up at Kelly. "Are you going to stare at me all day?" He raised his eyebrow, still not looking up at Kelly, bringing the drink to his lips._

 _Kelly thought for a moment, how did he approach this subject with Matt, placing his mug down on the bench, he moved to lean against the counter by Matt's side. "How you doing?" It was such a loaded question, one that had been asked of him many times over the past two months._

" _Fine. Why?" Still not looking up at Kelly, he tried his best to ignore him._

 _Kelly placed his hand over the paper, stopping Matt from reading, or pretend to read, causing Matt to groan. "Casey man. You can't keep going like this, it's been two months, tell me what is going on?"_

 _Slowly, carefully, Matt lifted his head to look Kelly in the eye, narrowing them for a moment before his mouth opened, "Move your hand away from the paper Severide…" He was gritting his teeth, standing slowly to be eye to eye with him._

 _This was a side of Matt Kelly hadn't seen before, it worried him even more than the drinking. "Matt, come on man, this isn't healthy for you. This_ isn't _you. The drinking? I don't know what happened but you gotta stop this. All of this-"_

 _Matt exploded, pushing himself away from the bench, swiping his hand across the top, sending his half empty beer bottle crashing to the ground._ _"You know what? Fuck you Severide all right! I'm sick and tired of this shit, get off your fucking high horse!"_

"Tenant, you coming to Molly's for Shay's birthday after shift?" Cruz looked over the table at Matt who was sitting at the end of the table, head down, eating a bowl of noodles he had made for lunch and reading a paper he wasn't actually paying attention too. Slowly he looked up, seeing everyone watching him closely.

"Ah yeah, of course…" It was a strange question to be asked, why wouldn't he be going for Shay's birthday but he had been isolating himself a little more recent, so he should be surprised they would be curious. He looked down at his plate before looking up at Shay and smiling, it was her birthday after all.

His head was starting to pound, he could feel it in the side of his head, that familiar tightening pain he had become accustomed to, too much alcohol and not enough sleep. Maybe he would find someone at Molly's to take home with him to help him forget.

Even for the night.

Maybe.

As he raised his spoon for another mouthful, the bells rang loudly throughout the firehouse, each person stopping in their tracks as they listened out for who was being called. Each of them abandoning what they were doing when they were all called out to a car accident.

Each vehicle pulled at the scene moments later, the sun beating down on them as they organised themselves, most of them had been hanging round in their turnout pants and t-shirts to reduce the warmth. Chief had instructed those to go and do what they had to, sending Casey and Hermann straight to the more damaged of the cars, Severide and Capp heading to the other as it requires squad to open the door.

Matt wished he could have been back at the firehouse; his head was pounding, the sun heating up his skin instantly, as he approached the car, he barely took notice of the people watching. It was nothing unusual for people to be drawn to chaos however part of him didn't understand how people can sit there with their phones out, gawking, he kinda hated it actually but he kept going. He needed to get his head in the game, this was his job and no matter what was going on in his life, this was where he was at his best.

He did however notice the dark, wild hair of a girl that was leaning through the driver's side window of the car, seemingly making sure that the driver had been ok. He could see her backside, her shirt riding up a little, what the hell was she doing?

He sighed, he understood that people wanted to help; it was actually good to know that someone had decided to help before arrived but he was starting to have enough of people trying to be heroes. It also made his job harder; he didn't need today to be made harder at all.

Reaching the car, he pulled on his gloves, looking down to make sure they were right, he spoke, not even looking at the girl he was talking to. "Alright miss I'm going to have to ask you move out the way." When there was no reply he reached out and touched the girls shoulder, vaguely away of Shay and their PIC Williams heading towards the other side of the car.

"Miss I said I'm going to have to ask you move." He was a little more forceful this time, annoyed she had ignored him the first time he had spoken, he really needed her to move, he really needed to assess the situation and this girl was in his way. He sighed.

But this time he got a reply; the bite back was feisty, Shay smirking as it came. "You know, if I didn't have to keep this guys from bleeding out I would but I kinda do, so I'm not really going to move." She snapped back, ' _blood fire fighters'_ she thought, struggling not to roll her eyes, as she glanced back at the man, inwardly groaning when she saw him.

This was when Matt's eyes snapped up leaning over her side into the car, close enough to smell her perfume, he could see her hand at the driver's throat, holding what looked like a jacket to the wound. That's when she spoke again, this time completely ignoring Matt standing next to her, her eyes focused on the paramedic at the passenger's side window, "Glass shattered from the windscreen, I've been able to stabilize the wound, looks to have missed the artery but he doesn't have much time."

Williams nodded, opening the passenger side door to slide into the car, looking over the rest of the driver, "All right Casey, I'm gonna need you to help our friend here and make sure you keep them both steady when we move him we can't risk the glass moving. What's your name hun?" The older man looked toward the girl, noticing the intent look in her eyes as the focused on the driver, blood has travelled down her arms and onto her top, but it didn't seem to faze her, she was too focused on what was happening in front of her.

"Gabby", Was all he got in return, her eyes lashing up to Shay who smiled back, not going to say too much as right now was not the time.

"Alright Casey, I was you to lean over Gabby and place her hand over hers, don't put too much pressure on because we don't want it to move but just keep her steady." He waited for Matt to nod, Herman and Mouch now behind Williams, waiting for the next order. "Ok guys when I say we are going to slide his legs straight over the bucket seats and then lift gently" he had the back board ready, the only way out through the drivers side window due to the injury.

As this happened Matt his grunted slightly, he didn't like the idea of having this girl helping, what did she know? What if she made it worse? But doing as requested Matt leaned against her back, reaching his long arms over hers to rest his hand on here. He glanced down at the girl, Gabby, smirking as her breath hitched slightly, glad he was having some affect on her considering she was less than polite when she'd spoken to him. Matt was by no stretch a condescending person but he didn't appreciate people being rude to him no matter the situation, he was a professional man, having someone he didn't know involved in a rescue.

"You ready 'tenant?" The backboard was ready to go, Cruz and Mouch were now standing by the driver side door, waiting for the patient to come out. "Ah yeah, ready!" Matt called out again glancing down at the girl who had now glanced up at him as well. Williams spoke again, "All right Gabby, Casey on the count of three we are going to turn him slightly onto the board so you'll both have to lean in a little and then back out so we can slide him out."

They both nodded, just waiting patiently for all this to happen, they would do as they were told. As Williams counted down to one, Matt pushed himself against Gabby as she leaned forward, they bodies with no space between them for no more than 30 second, which for some reason felt like longer, until the both felt the tell tail sign of the backboard being moved.

As this happened Matt took a step back from Gabby, their hands still covering the wound but this time with less urgency as he moved away, reaching for the side of the board to help carry. "Good job there kid" Williams spoke to Gabby, smiling as the walked to the ambo, another paramedic taking over as they placed the driver on the stretcher. As the doors closed Williams glanced back to her, expending his hand. Smiling back, Gabby shook it for a moment before Williams headed off toward to from of the ambo, speeding off moment later.

Matt groaned, his head was now ready to explode, the sun was hot and he was stressed, the same way he got stressed after every call, it was the adrenalin running through him, he rubbed his head. He really shouldn't have drunk as much as he had last night, he was dehydrated now and it sucked. Moving towards Chief, they fell into deep conversation about the situation, getting Truck sorted in the clean up, moments later hearing someone clear their throat.

Both turned to find Gabby standing there, rubbing her hands together, trying to clean them off as much as possible without actually having anything to clean them off. "Miss, my lieutenant was just telling me about the work you did, you probably scared that mans life." Both Gabby and Matt looked up at the Chief, it was clear that Matt hadn't really said it, but it was nice to hear anyway.

Chief held his hand out for Gabby, who was still rubbing them on her pants before shaking his hand, hoping to get the blood off. "It's just Gabby and it's not problem. I actually came to ask you, that was Ambo 61 that came from your house yeah?" Gabby glanced behind her to see Shay standing by the Ambo, laughing at something that Williams had said.

Boden and Casey eyed the girl, confused, why did it matter that it was ambo 61 and why was she asking. Taking that as her yes answer, Gabby continued, "That would make you Chief Boden. I'm Gabriella Dawson. I'm the new PIC on 61 starting next shift." Matt was shocked, they had been told that they would be getting a new PIC but they had never been told who it would be.

 _He couldn't believe it, of all people_ \- Boden had pulled him from his thoughts, "Ah Miss Dawson. It's a pleasure and if your work is anything like what we saw today, you are going to fit in really well at 51." With a nod Boden left Gabby and Matt alone needing to deal with someone. She turned to Matt, part of her needing to get away from him or else she would say something she would regret, "Well lieutenant, I guess I'll be seeing you next shift." She moved past him, following the call of the CPD who was calling out for her.

"Ah Miss Dawson. It's a pleasure and if your work is anything like what we saw today, you are going to fit in really well at 51." With a nod Boden left Gabby and Matt alone needing to deal with someone. She turned to Matt, part of her needing to get away from him or else she would say something she would regret, "Well lieutenant, I guess I'll be seeing you next shift." She moved past him, following the call of the CPD who was calling out for her.

As she moved past him, she bumped into him accidently, turning suddenly to look at him she sighed, "I would apologise but I know you don't accept apologises." With two fingers brought to her forehead on a salute style, heading toward the police, Matt just watching as she walked away, completely shell shocked at this girl.

 _What was she talking about?_

"Next time someone bumps you at Molly's maybe you should accept their apology…" Matt looked down at Shay, confused for a moment before he realised what she was talking about.

Gabby was the girl from Molly's, the girl who had bumped, the girl who had called him an asshole because he didn't speak to her.

God and now she was in the firehouse with him. Groaning, he rubbed his head, his headache was getting worse and his anger growing.

 **Thoughts? I do hope to update soon so let me know if you want more**


	2. Almost Everything

**Can I just say that 24 reviews for my first chapter is incredible! Thank you so very, very much to everyone who left awesome feedback, its what I going to get this fic written through the hiatus. THANK YOU!**

 **Also I don't think the finale could have been any better, I will take whatever comes next season because we all know that it doesn't matter anymore. They are together, I care about nothing else haha.**

 **I do hope you enjoy this next chapter, let me know what you all think! :D**

* * *

 **Chapter 2 – Almost Everything**

"I can't believe we are on an ambo together! This is going to be so much fun!" Shay wrapped her arm tightly around Gabby's shoulder, bringing her as close as possible, more excited than she ever thought she could be. Shay laughed as she and Gabby made their way into the firehouse days after the accident where she had met Chief Boden.

Shay hadn't known Gabby was coming to 51, Gabby had chosen to keep that quiet to surprise Shay when she had turned up. Needless to say, Shay had almost deafened her when she saw Gabby coming up the driveway. The rest of the firehouse shocked at the loud squeal she and given out, all of them turning to see the two girls come up the driveway.

Gabby loved the idea of being back with Shay, they had gone through training together, instantly clicking when they met and had been inseparable since that moment. "I am so happy to be back with you. I miss you..." She wrapped her arm around Shay's shoulder also, moving further into the apparatus floor where the rest of the firehouse was waiting, all of them standing around, waiting for them to come in. She needed her friends around her and being in a firehouse with both Shay and Kelly was what she needed.

As introductions were made, Hermann held out his arms for Gabby, wanting to give her a proper 51 welcome, taking her in for a hug. She had been hanging around Molly's and Shay enough to have met Herman many times before, but this was different, she was being welcomed into a family. He had even started seeing her as the daughter he never had, looking out for her at Molly's, keeping an eye on her when she was there. There was something about her from the minute they had met that made him feel protective of her. "Welcome home kiddo."

 _Home_.

That felt good. Hearing those words from someone else in the house felt _good._ Her last firehouse had been terribly one sided. All of them men, each of them thinking that she wasn't capable of doing her job, they had been sexist and egotistical, and she had hated it. So when the information about a possible transfer had come past her, she had jumped at the opportunity, excited to know that she would be going to be with Shay at 51 but also excited for the chance to get out of the house she was in.

"And you know Matt Casey" Shay extended her arm toward Matt this time, who had just walked through the double door and onto the floor, his hair a bit of a mess and he looked tired and hung over. Gabby watching as he looked her way, waiting a moment then giving her a short nod of acknowledgment before turning away from her.

Clearly he really was an asshole, not just a drunk asshole like she had met that night at Molly's, he was just an asshole. Gabby didn't even get a chance to say anything before he turned on his heels and went back inside, rubbing his head as he went.

That really pissed her off. She hadn't really done anything to him that night at Molly's but she brushed it off as him just being drunk but then he was so rude and abrupt with her at the accident that she couldn't brush it off. Why the hell was he such a dick to her?

Huffing she turned to the rest of the firehouse; most having seen the exchange between Gabby and Matt but none of them saying anything; Herman the only one who had seen their exchange at Molly's a few weeks before. "Come on girl. Let's go" Shay places her arm around Gabby's shoulder again, moving her towards the rest of the house, walking her through and giving her a tours.

As Gabby got herself settled, packing away her things into her new locker, she smiled. She was happy to be with shay and for the most part everyone at the house was already so welcoming. It really did feel like home to her now. As she placed her keys down on the top shelf, movement behind her caught her attention, "Sorry Gabs but Chief is looking for you."

Gabby turned to find Kelly standing behind her, resting against the locker by her side, smile on his face as he watched her. She had met Kelly Severide before, gotten to know him well enough that she felt comfortable around him. He was like this big teddy bear, the brother she never really asked for but he was there for her when she needed it and there was a time that she had really needed him. "Thanks Kel." She smiled over at him as she closed her locker, giving him a tight hug before following him from the locker room.

"It's good to have you here Gabs," he wrapped his arms around her as they made it to the Chiefs office; he placed a kiss to her forehead, smiling as he turned away, he really was happy to have her around. He hadn't seen her in a while, but to know that she was somewhere that he could watch over her, it made him happy.

Gabby really did feel like she was at home now, she had been welcomed openly by all of the fire fighters, people she had met and some she hadn't, but they all welcomed her with a smile. Moving closer to the open door she sighed, it was clear she wasn't the only one summonsed to see the Chief.

"Thanks Casey. I do appreciate your help." Boden held out his hand to shake Matt's, a discussion between them she would never know about. Gabby cleared her throat from the doorway, letting them both know she was there, she didn't want to cut into a conversation she wasn't part of but she had been told that Boden wanted to see her.

Looking up and over Matt's shoulder, Boden smiled, Matt turning on his heels, his face straight when he noticed her standing there. "Ah Dawson. Come in, come in." He waved her into his office, sharing a looking with Matt who turned and left but not before locking eyes with Gabby, a deep stare between the two of them for a moment before he slipped passed her and out of the office.

God why did he rub her up the wrong way? She wanted to fume, wanted to call after him and ask what he hell his problem was but she wouldn't, at least not yet. "You wanted to see me Chief?" She took a seat across from him, waiting for a reply. Wanting to ignore Matt for as long as possible, she didn't want to have him upsetting her when she was finally starting to feel happy about being there.

Boden watched her for a moment, trying to gauge what she was like. Shay had been talking non-stop about her PIC friend 'Gabriella Dawson' for months, she talked about her like she was the be all and end all of paramedics so when the opportunity had come up that they needed a new PIC he had requested the department look into her. Asking specifically for the notification of the opening to make its way to her.

From what he had seen at the accident call the week before, Boden could tell she was exactly how shay had described her. "I just wanted to say welcome to 51...officially. From what I've heard, you will fit in here easily." Gabby smiled, who had been talking about her? "Leslie was not impressed I kept it from her that you were coming here...we are very happy to have you Gabriella." He stopped, Gabby following, extending his hand for her to shake. A wide smile ok both their faces.

"Thanks Chief, I am very happy to have the opportunity to be here. I look forward to working everyone." She nodded back to him, this was what she needed, this chance to change everything. She needed a change in her life, the chance to move on from the past, to forget and live her life.

* * *

Shay rested her legs against Gabby's as they sat on the couch, it was late, everyone else had gone to bed but they had been at a late call both too wired to sleep. The TV had been on low, both zoning out as they watched some reply of an old hockey game. "So tell me about what's been going on with Casey?"

Gabby smirked; she wondered how long it was going to take shay to mention Matthew Casey. Gabby could tell she had been wanting to ask about it for a while now, each time decided against asking the question, it was clear that Matthew Casey pissed Gabby off so Shay must have decided not to say something.

Until now.

It had been two weeks since Gabby had started at 51, she had however fitted in like a glove, like she had always been there, like she was part of the furniture but it was clear the tension between her and Matt hadn't gotten any better. The air would instantly change when one of them walked into the room and everyone had noticed.

Gabby groaned, "I have no idea what his problem is!" She rubbed her forehead; she wasn't sure what to tell Shay. "He is just so rude and obnoxious and arrogant and self centered-" Shays laughter caught Gabby off guard, turning towards her now supposed best friend, "What?" Gabby raised her eyebrow at Shay; she couldn't believe Shay was laughing at her.

"Nothing! Nothing. Just, it's funny because how you just described Matthew Casey is the furthest thing from the truth really. You just gotta get to know him..." Shay looked up at Gabby, her smirk falling when she say the look on her face. Gabby was not impressed with Shay, she had seen how Matt had been treating her recently so there was no way she could say that Matt wasn't everything that she had just described.

Gabby huffed, "He was a jerk when I first met him and I was close to forgiving his attitude because I knew he had been drunk but it was clear that his attitude hadn't changed towards her even when he was sober. I'm not going to _get to know_ him ok." She crossed her arms over her chest, she would have thought Shay would have been on her side with this.

Shay sat up, looking towards Gabby, "Hey you are my best friend and I will always back you up but I also know Matt well, trust me with this ok, I don't know what is going on with him but this isn't him?" But Gabby's straight face told Shay that she wasn't having it. Matt had been a dick from the very beginning; she wasn't going to give him the time of day now.

Silence fell over them instantly; Shay going back to watching whatever was in TV but Gabby was pissed off, mostly because she was now thinking about what she had done to piss Matt off so much. If Shay didn't know what his problem was and he was acting the way he was towards her, she must have done something to piss him off. But she hadn't. Huffing, she pushed Shay's legs off her lap, heading straight to be bunkroom, it had been a long day and she was tired and she wanted sleep.

* * *

Matt moved around his office, trying to keep himself busy as he didn't want to sleep, he was tired, no doubt but all he did when he slept was dream and he didn't want to dream anymore. He wanted to be able to close his eyes and no have that memory, not have that pain anymore.

He had found that keeping himself busy was a good start with ignoring the rest of the world, he did as much work as possible to keep him entertained while on shift and he had taken up a lot of construction jobs to keep himself busy on his days off but it was the nights that were killing him, the nights where his mind would wander.

Tonight should have been one of those nights, one of those nights that would have made him lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling but instead of that, the house had been called out to a factory fire, a fully involved factory fire.

"Casey! We got someone back here! I can't get to them!" Otis' voice rung out over the raging fire, the heat licking at their backs. Matt moved closet to Otis, helping him move the beam that had fallen, trapping the person in a corner. "Come on buddy!" Otis held his hand out for the man, grabbing him instantly before dragging him from the rubble, Matt following, hot on his heals.

That was until the roof above them groaned, giving way as the flames engulfed the structure. "Get out!" Casey called, pushing Otis and the victim out the door, Matt tumbling out the doorway as well, calls of horror and fear echoing around him, subsiding when they saw him lying against the ground, his helmet rolling towards the waiting fire fighters.

Matt stood suddenly, looking over his shoulder as the canons fired water towards the building, the building he had just been in, the building that had almost taken his life. Rushing away from the outside, Matt moved towards Boden who looked angry and yet relieved. He was ok, he was fine, he didn't need to worry.

"Get Dawson to check you out."

It was all he said as he looked over his shoulder at Gabby who was waiting with her arms crossed, she looked a little relieved as well, never wanting him to get injured on the job no matter how much of a pain in the ass he was. "Chief, really I'm fine. I don't need her to check me out." Matt really didn't want Gabby to check him out, he felt fine. Honest.

But that same look crossed Boden's face as it did when he was about to explode, the same face that told you to do what he said before he gave you an earful. Dropping his shoulders, Matt begrudgingly moved towards Gabby who was waiting by the ambo, Shay checking out the patient that Otis had brought out. "Hey Otis, good save man." Matt nodded towards him, he had done a good job in that fire, spotting that man, Otis had saved his life.

"Come on, let's get you checked over." Gabby said as she pulled him towards the back step of the ambo. It had been obvious to all that they didn't get along, no one really knew why, but Gabby would make a comment about something that Matt would bite back at and visa versa, many times over the past three weeks had Gabby and Matt ended up staring each other down, their moods changing the minute the other would walk into the room.

"I'm fine Dawson." He tried to brush her off but she was just doing her job, he just didn't want her to have this over him. It was the last thing he needed was for her to have something over him.

Gabby groaned, he was such a pain in the ass, "Don't be such a baby, you've got a whole in the back of your jacket…" she placed her hand against the whole, noticing the skin underneath had been burned lightly, as she did so Matt pulled away, hissing painfully.

"What the hell Dawson?" He leaned way from her touch, sending a glance over his shoulder as she rolled her eyes.

She wanted to slap him, so high and mighty, so stubborn, why couldn't he just let her do her job? "Take your shirt off, I need to check this out." She wasn't going to let him leave without treating the burn.

When he didn't move, Gabby tugged his jacket off his shoulder, not stopping when he tried to pull away, his shirt following, she was almost turning this into a hockey fight, pulling his shirt over his head so he couldn't move. "What the fuck!?" He was getting really pissed off now, he didn't like the way she was treating him.

"Oh grow up would you Casey. There is no one around here you need to impress with you machoness so suck it up." She was losing her patience with him, just wanting to get this over with. With one final growl Matt let her do what she needed, hissing every now and then when she touched his bare skin, not happy about it at all.

After a few moments, Gabby nudged his shoulder, "See wasn't that bad." Pulling his shift back over his head, Matt just looked back at her, his look of annoyance clear to her. "Look next time I won't help you. It's ok though, you and I both know you won't accept an apology so I shouldn't have expected a _thank you_ either." She pushed herself off the step and passed him. She was tired of his attitude towards her and didn't want to be around him anymore.

* * *

Matt smiled a sleepy smile when he felt the movement in his bed, the lit pressure against his body, the hair tickling his face, the warm breath against his cheek. Those hands rubbing against his nose, poking his cheeks lovingly.

He was happy; this made him happy. So happy that he hadn't had a single drink last night. He liked the fact that he woke up without a headache, he left right, he felt ok he like everything was going to be ok...at least for a little while.

"Come on! Get up!"

Oh that voice, he loved that voice, it was so pure, so soft and happy. He smiled again, his eyes still closed, pretending to be asleep; he knew how much she hated it when he did that.

Huffing again the voice tried again, shaking him forcefully, "Come on! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!" She was whining now, her hands pushing against his shoulder, his whole body rocking against the small weight.

Oh how he loved to tease her.

"This isn't funny Uncle Matt!"

Oh how that voice changed, she was getting grumpy. Opening his eyes slowly, the harsh light too much for a moment, he smiled wider, Violet had found her way onto his bed, sitting in his chest so he couldn't roll over, he laughed. "Violet honey, it's early..." He turned his head to the side, seeing the blinking red lights of the time staring back at him.

 _6:08_

Ok so not as early as he was expecting, considering she was only about 5 years old, he had expected her to be up much earlier than that. Lucky for him however, he was on shift today and his alarm would be going off in twenty minutes anyway.

"But you promised I go with you to see the fire trucks!" Even since he had offered to look after his niece for the day while Christy had an out of town meeting, Violet had been over the moon about spending the day with him. She loved her uncle matt. Everything was about her Uncle Matt and Matt loved it.

He loved his niece and considering the issues he and Christy had had when Violet was born, he had missed the first few years of her life, but the minute he had a chance to make it right, he was smitten with the little blond haired girl, as was she with her tall, fire fighter uncle.

He laughed; she was too cute, sitting on his chest, her purple pyjamas with horses staring back at him. Her hands found their way to his cheeks, pressings them against his face forcing him to keep his eyes open from the slight pain of her skin being pinched, "Nd w wll go when ou gt uff m..." He mumbled under the pressure of her hands, hoping she understood him.

Violet giggled happily at the funny noises her uncle was making, her hands letting up enough that he was able to grab them, rolling her onto her side, tickling her causing hysterical giggles to erupt in the room. "Stop! Uncle Matt! Stop!" She tried to push him away but he was stronger.

"Ha ha ha! Never!" He laughed as he tickled her, tears streaming down her cheeks as she tried to push him off.

It didn't take long before Matt had slowed down, Violet turning the table on him, jumping on him, pushing him back on his back, laughing at the "oof" he let out as her weight landed on his stomach.

Time passed, full of laughter and screams as 6:30 rolled around, Matt's phone clicking over, music flowing through as his alarm sounded. Reaching over for his phone, Matt clicked off the sound, looking over to Violet who was still sitting on him, silence coming over them for a moment before he raised himself off the bed, lifting her into his arms and carrying her over his shoulder. "Come on crazy! Breakfast time!"

Violet laughed louder, giggling as her head hung by his back, her legs in the air, "Uncle Matt! Put me down!" But that was the wrong statement, Matt then swung her back over his shoulder, dropping her on the couch with a light thud. Violet bounced a little, a cry coming from her lips as she realised that he dropped her, she wasn't too happy about being dropped like that.

He leaned over, resting his arms on the couch cushions, trapping her between them. "Better?" He asked with a straight face.

With a strong nod, Violet replied, "Better."

"Good!" He sighed, leaning into her quickly, placing a kiss on the inside of her neck, causing her to laugh again, she was a very ticklish little girl. "Come on crazy, what do you want for breakfast?"

Hours later Matt and Violet made their down the driveway to the apparatus floor, cheers and clapping echoing as the got closer, the rest of the firehouse excited to see Violet again, the little girl holding onto her uncle tightly, excitement coming over her.

Matt had pulled the little girl onto his shoulders, holding on tightly as they walked, her arms and legs wrapped tightly around him, making sure she don't fall, his hands holding onto her legs.

"Hey! Violet Casey! Would you look at you!" Herman moved from the side of the truck, the rest of 51 following as they greeted the little girl. It had been a while since she had been to the firehouse and this we the first time she would be staying the night as well.

She giggled, suddenly shy from the attention but that disappeared when Kelly came around, her eye lighting up the minute she saw him. If there was one person who Violet loved more than matt was Kelly Severide.

From the minute she had seen him, Violet had become attached and it was clear so had Kelly. "Oh man! Look at you! You've grown so much!"

Nodding, Violet laughed, "I'm big now!" Causing the rest of the firehouse to laugh as well, she had grown up a lot since the last time they had seen her. "Uncle Matt, I'm hungry!" She wined suddenly, Matt groaning. She really did have his family's apatite, she was always hungry, he had no idea how Christy kept up with her!

"Yeah, yeah I know. Come on; let's get you inside. I'm sure Shay will be excited to see you." At the mention for Shay's name, Violet became excited again, she adored the fact that there was a girl working in the firehouse, always following shay around.

But now there were two girls in the house.

Matt thought for a second. He and Gabby had been standing off each other for the last two weeks. She had been in the house a whole month and she just pissed him off and got under his skin. She was beautiful. There was no denying that, no matter how much he didn't like the woman, but she was stunning.

Her dark brown hair, wild eyes when she fought with him, arguing over the most stupidest thing, a comment here and there and they would be staring each other down, waiting for the other one to give.

Shaking his head, Matt moved further into the firehouse, Violet chatting away with Kelly as they went, she telling him about her day care while Kelly did his best to sound interested in the ramblings of a five year old.

That was until they stepped into the common room, Violet instantly spotting shay sitting on the couch. "Leslie!" She squirmed on Matt's shoulders, fighting to get down, matt placing her down before she fell, running straight into shays arms.

"Oh my. Violet! I don't believe it. I've missed you!" The hug was tight, both girls holding onto each other. Shay had missed Violet, the little girl was adorable.

"I missed you too!" Violet was thrilled.

Matt smiled as he watched the two interact, glad that she was happy; all he ever wanted was to make that little girl happy. Moving towards the lockers, matt dropped his head, he hadn't slept as well as he would have liked, but he was going to make the best of the day because he had Violet and Violet made everything better.

As he moved further into the locker room, matt noticed Gabby sitting on the stool, bent over, hair to one side, if she didn't frustrate the him so much he would have gladly told her she was beautiful, because she was.

She just frustrated him too much.

Hearing the noise next to her, Gabby looked up, watching him for a minute before nodding her good morning, standing and brushing past him, not really wanting anything to do with him, he pissed her off and she didn't need that sort of stress that early in the morning.

Matt shook his head, he needed to stay clear, he had Violet and his job. He needed to stay clear.

Gabby moved further into the common room, she was hungry; she had been awake most of the night, her mind running a mile a minute with thoughts and fears. She really did hate nights like that. Sighing, she made her way towards the kitchen she stopped.

Dead in her tracks Gabby stopped, staring at the little girl in shays arms, staring at the little girl who seemed to innocent and happy to be there. She had wild blonde hair, bright blue eyes, wide smile.

"And this is my partner Gabby..." Somewhere in her mind Gabby hear her name, somewhere she understood the concept of this little girl smiling back at her while she stood there, staring, focused on her face. "Gabs this is Matt's niece Violet..." It was as if Shay hadn't seen the look in her face, but the rest of the firehouse had noticed the silence from Gabby, they had noticed Violet's smile fall.

This little girl only 5 years old. All she wanted was to make people happy an to make friends and here was this woman who wasn't smiling, wasn't saying a word and was just staring at her.

Violet looked back at Shay, unsure of what to do or say or what as going on. The little girl feeling very uncomfortable under Gabby's stare began to cry, thinking she had done something wrong or had done something to upset her.

Movement behind Gabby and the sound of Violet's cries brought Gabby back to reality, Matt was rushing over to Shay to take Violet, hushing her while she clung to him, crying into his shoulder. He turned towards Gabby, eyeing her with a death stare, what the Hell was her problem?

Gabby needed to get out of there, she needed fresh air, she needed to get away from the confused stares and the anger. Rushing from the common room, Gabby sucked in a deep breath as she found herself on the apparatus floor. What the hell was she doing? She never wanted to upset the little girl, but she couldn't help it. Running her hands through her hair, Gabby tried to steady her breathing.

She was angry with herself for how she acted and angry that Violet was upset, she just hoped that Matt left it alone because she didn't know if she could handle dealing with him.

* * *

Gabby sighed as she rested her back against the cool tiles, her head thumping lightly as her groaned, the cool water rushing over her body, her hair sticking to her cheeks. Her earlier fight with matt had pissed her off, worse it had scared her. And she hated it. She knew she had upset Violet and it wasn't her intention to but she had just panicked, her mind rushing a mile a minute as she stared at that little girl.

Had she deserved to be confronted by what had happened? Of course, if that were anyone else who had done the same to her niece or nephew she would have done the same thing but matt had blown up. His face had turned red as his voice rose, his arms outstretched above his head.

 _"What the hell is your problem Dawson?"_

 _At first Gabby didn't know what he was talking about. She had taken up residence on her bunk, just trying to relax and to stay away from the large group. She wasn't in the best mood, she hadn't slept all that well and after what had happened that morning with Violet, she decided it best if she stay away, let the little girl enjoy her time with her uncle and her friends._

 _But as she lay against her bed, her eyes closed, trying to block out the sounds around her, matt had stormed into the bunk room, furry coming off him in waves. She had sat up quickly, frightened by the sudden noise, she hadn't been expecting._

 _But Matt didn't let her speak before he continued. "She is 5 years old! All she wanted to do was say hello and you made her cry. What the hell is wrong with you?"_

 _This time Gabby did speak, standing suddenly she confronted him, "Take a step back Casey ok. I didn't mean to upset her-" but she didn't get much further, he hadn't taken a step back, in fact he had taken a step forward._

 _Matt raised his arms in the air, pointing his finger towards her, "I_ _think you need to get off your fucking high horse and stop acting like a princess! She a child and maybe you should start acting like an adult!"_

 _Gabby didn't know what was worse, his raised hand in the air or that name, that name that should been used as a term of endearment was tumbling from his lips. But she did know she flinched, she moved away from her, turning her head away at those words._

" _Get the Hell over-" Matt stopped short, watching as she cringed under his look and anger. It was not how he thought she would have reacted, she looked scared, terrified of him. Dropping his hand quickly, he could see her hands shaking, her whole body trying to calm down from whatever had scared her. "Gabby?" He wasn't sure what to do or what to say but that didn't matter, Gabby suddenly pushed past him, her head down as she walked straight to the side door, taking her outside and out of view._

 _Matt watched her go, confused as to what had happened but he was still so angry with her, she was acting like a child and he was furious that she had upset Violet the way she had. Shaking his head Matt huffed, moving back towards the common room, needing to make sure that Violet was ok._

"Hey princess..."

Gabby's eyes shot open instantly, her heartbeat increasing tenfold as she looked around the small stall, part of her expecting to be greeted by another person. But she was alone. She was still alone, in that bathroom, in that shower stall, she was alone.

Listening for a moment, thinking maybe she had heard something, maybe she has made it up, Gabby sighed, there was nothing else, no other voices or sounds. Then came the sound of someone rustling outside the stall, she reached for her towel wrapping it around her body, fear taking over her body, she hadn't heard anyone coming into the bathroom so the noises concerned her.

She didn't care that she was in the firehouse or that she was naked under that towel, she didn't care that anyone could have walked in on her at any point in time, she just needed to find that voice. Pulling open the curtain she looked around, her hands still shaking from fear, swallowing thickly as she tried to find the courage to move into what she thought had been an empty room. Stepping out slowly, gabby found no one in the bathroom except her and so with one foot placed slowly in front of the other, she walked closer to the entrance, water dripping down her legs, pooling around her feet, her hair plastered to her face, droplets of water rushing down her chest.

"Over here princess..."

That voice; she had heard it again, her heartbeat increasing as she turned the corner, unsure of what she would find, unsure of what she would if she found something. As her whole body rounded the corner, Gabby bumped into the chest of someone coming the other way, their hands reaching out to steady her, Gabby's wild eyes staring back at the tall man in front of her.

* * *

 **Wow now, that was a long chapter...worth the wait? I really do hope you guys don't mind the time jumps.**

 **Please review!**


	3. Got It All Wrong

**Hey just wanna say that I know that this is OCC, especially Matt, I was always worried about people not liking it because it was that way but I'm hoping that once things start coming out about character back ground it makes a little more sense and once that happens they should start sounding and acting like the Matt and Gabby we know and love.**

 **To those who reviewed/favourite/alerted after the last chapter…THANK YOU SO MUCH! I love you all!**

 **Hope you enjoy what comes next, please review!**

* * *

 **Chapter 3 – Got It All Wrong**

"Geez Gabs, you ok?" Gabby eyed him for a moment his height, his build, his hair colour, his voice finally registering in her head as she looked back at him, realising who was standing there, who was holding onto her.

Blowing out a deep breath she didn't know she was holding, Gabby relaxed, Kelly's warm hands soothing out any worries that she had, any fears that lingered inside of her. She was shaking and it wasn't from being out in the cool air while she was still wet, it was from what she was feeling. The memories flashing in front of her eyes, "Yeah, yeah, I'm alright…" She looked away; hating that Kelly could see right through her.

But clearly he didn't need to look into her eyes to know she wasn't ok, it was written all over her face and her body, he could feel her arms tense under his touch. "Come on, that's crap and you know it. What's going on?" He had seen the fear in her eyes when she looked back at him, looking straight through him as though he wasn't even there.

Realising they were standing in the middle of the bathroom, where anyone could see her barely dressed, Kelly walked them back towards the showers, sitting beside her on the bench as he waited for her to give him a straight answer. Leaning against his knees, he watched her as she stared at the floor, her hands locked together as she tried to think of what to say to him.

Gabby sighed, shaking her head, causing more water to drip down her body from her hair, she was still in a towel, nothing else, but she knew if she let Kelly walk away for her to change, she would never open up to him. "I dunno, Kel. I just…I got into it with Casey earlier and he called me princess…" she rubbed her hands over her eyes, hating that the name could still affect her so much. "I guess it just all came back to me…" She knew he understood what she was saying, she had told him about that name.

She shrugged again, knowing that she didn't have to give him too much more information; he understood exactly what she was saying. She felt him sigh against her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, placing a kiss against her forehead, "It's alright Gabs...it's gonna be alright…" He really wished it was going to be ok.

Kelly knew he couldn't really help her with how she was feeling but damn he would help her with Casey. He had seen how they had been around each other, not really understanding what had caused them both to be so nasty to each other but there was a line that Matt had crossed and he was tired of him always at her. Not that Gabby was innocent, no way, she could bite just as much as he could but after everything Gabby had been through, Kelly wasn't going to let Matt pile it on.

But he held her, his arm wrapped around her shoulders as she tired to calm herself down, letting her deal with her emotions how she needed to. After a moment Kelly turned to look at Gabby, bringing her face into his hands, forcing her to look up at him. "You are with people who love you here Gabby, never forget that ok?" He leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead, feeling her shiver under his touch, she was wet and cold still, but she needed this. She nodded against him, fitting herself into his side.

* * *

Gabby listened as Herman and Otis argued about Molly's, it had become a topic of discussion recently as it seemed as though they had come into some money troubles. Something about the past owners and the banks, Gabby didn't ever actually hear the start of their conversations, most of the time she wasn't really listening. But tonight was different; she was sitting at the table, her head down over her iPad, but she had been intrigued by what they were saying, it was clear that things were getting worse.

"What? You think the bank is just going to ignore it because we are new owners? No chance!" Otis laughed as Hermann huffed next to her, Otis across from them, Kelly sitting besides her reading the paper, tuning in and out as they argued. Matt and Shay had joined them at the table, falling into their own conversation easily.

Hermann, leaned back in his chair, his eyes furrowing at Otis who just shook his head, they really didn't know what they were going to do. "Well unless you can come up with 10 grand in the next few weeks we are going to lose the best thing that has happened to any of us."

It was really sad to know that if they couldn't come up with the money they would lose the bar, all of them spending more than enough time there that it had become their third home, after the firehouse of course.

"You know…you could help out…I'm sure they would give you a stake of the claim…" Kelly leaned over into Gabby's ear, whispering to her so only she could hear. But the movement and Gabby's furrowed look on her face was enough to catch Otis' attention.

"What? You got an idea?" He really did hope she did, or even Kelly, because for lack of a better idea, they were stuck and in trouble.

Had Gabby thought about offering her help? Of course, but she never thought they would be accepting of the help, she was the new guy in the house and didn't want to push too much, even thought the money would be a big help. She shrugged, thinking over Kelly's words, she wouldn't be helping out because she wanted to join in ownership, she would want to help out because it was the right thing to do. "If you need the money that bad, I could help you out…"

Every single person in that firehouse stopped what they were doing, Kelly sitting back with a smile on his face, Otis with his mouth wide open in shock and Hermann staring at her like she had grown another head. He leaned closer to her, turning his head to the side so as though it would help his hearing. "You what now?" Was all he could say, unsure that he had heard her correctly.

The whole house was silent, staring at her, making her feel a little uncomfortable. She sighed, shrugging again, she really didn't want to make a big deal of this, "I said if you needed the money I could help you out…"

Hermann leaned forward, looking at her closely, "You mean to tell me you have 10 grand just sitting around?" He didn't believe her, up until this point; Gabby hadn't said a word about helping out at Molly's and now she was talking about giving them _10 grand_. She nodded again; maybe he would believe her soon. Kelly smirked by her side, knowing that she had the money but loving the fact that everyone seemed so unsure about it. "How?"

This was when Gabby glanced towards Kelly, hating that fact that she had to explain, thankfully he jumped in, "Gabby grew up with money, she always used to talk about wanting to own a bar, figured this was her chance…" He shrugged, knowing that it wasn't entirely true but it was enough.

Silence came over Hermann once again, until he jumped to his feet, wrapping his arms around her shoulder, "You have got to be freaking kidding me! This is amazing! Thank you! Thank you!" He was too excited to let Gabby speak, but she was happy that she was able to help. He rushed off from the table, heading towards the bunkroom to call the bank and see what had to be done.

Otis leaned over the table, "Are you sure?" He didn't want to take her money; he wanted to make sure she was ok with helping them out. 10 grand was a lot of money.

But Gabby nodded, smiling wide, "Trust me, it would be my pleasure. Mum and dad always used to talk about using our money for good and what greater good is there than helping Molly's, which has become a third home to many of us." She shrugged again, smiling as Otis leaned over the table and squeezed her hand in a thank you, happy that this problem had been taken care of.

Looking around the table, Gabby was greeted with smiles and laughter, until she got to Matt, who had focussed on her, his eyes narrowing. "Grew up with money? That explains a lot…" Gabby's eyes narrowed at him also, wondering what he thought he was going to get out that statement.

Matt knew he was being a dick, he knew he was being unfair, but he couldn't help it, when he looked at this girl, something came over him. He wasn't sure if it was hatred for her or just for the beautiful girl that she was but she got to him.

Gabby opened her mouth to bite back, she had almost just about enough of his crap, they had been going back and forward for months now, and it never seemed to get any better. "At least my parents taught me the meaning of manners, which it's clear is more than I can say about you. What daddy didn't love you enough, didn't care enough?"

Whatever was in Matt's eyes fell away as she spoke, his whole body hardening at her words, the rest of the common room falling silent again. He shouldn't have been surprised with what she had said, he was asking for it, even he knew that but it still shocked him to hear it, especially from her.

In a rush of moments, Matt pushed himself from the table, his chair scraping against the floor as he did so, every pair of eyes on him and his reaction, all of them, except Gabby, knowing enough about his family to understand his reaction. After a few moments of watching him leave the common room in silence, the tell tale thump of his office door sounded, the sound of the glass shaking as he did so.

Slowly Kelly leaned over towards Gabby, touching her hand, "Matt grew up in a pretty rough home. Dad was abusive, mum a drunk. She killed his dad when he was 15, he had been in and out of homes for the next three years." He looked sad as he spoke, obviously knowing what had happened in Matt's life but Gabby never thought it could be that bad.

Turning in her chair, Gabby looked towards the bunk rooms, a heavy feeling settling over her as she thought about what she had said to him and what Kelly had told him. She hated that she had said it, Matt just got on her nerves, but she had really hurt him, more than she wanted to and she doubted that an apology would do any good at that moment.

* * *

Matt slammed the door to his office, his anger levels at an all time high. He should have expected her to bite back with a comment like that one day; he had been a dick to her but now he just couldn't get past what she had said. He had thought about apologising for everything, thought about talking to her but he was just too angry now, too blinded by everything that had been going on.

Sitting down at his desk with a thump, Matt groaned, too frustrated with everything that had happened just now to do any work, his hands shaking from holding back the words he could have said. He didn't even hear the sound of his office door opening and closing he was so lost in his own thoughts.

"You know, none of this would have happened if you hadn't been acting like a complete jerk around Gabby..." a voice had pulled Matt from his thoughts. Kelly had held off saying something to Matt after the incident where he found Gabby freaking out as she got out of the showers last shift, but Kelly knew them both well enough that this was going to end badly if he didn't step in. Someone needed to say something to them both.

Matt just rolled his eyes, ignoring his best friend as he tried to reason with him, truthfully Matt knew he was right, but he was too stubborn to listen to him. "Dammit Matt, the two of you have been at each other from the very beginning and it's getting harder to work with you both. Either you need to man up and apologise or just let it go. Just ignore each other."

But Matt did stand now, hand raised to stop Kelly in his tracks, "You know what Sev, I don't need your advice and I don't want your advice ok. She may be your fuck buddy but that doesn't mean I have to bow down to her. She is just as much at fault about all of this as I am. But it's clear you wouldn't say anything to her about it…"

Kelly's face dropped, his eyes narrowing at Matt, what the hell was he talking about? "You may want to think about what it is that you are saying right now Casey, coz you are way out of line." Fuck buddy? What the hell was he talking about? "I'm not sleeping with Dawson…" Gabby was like his sister, he loved her deeply as did Shay but there would be no way in this world or any other would he be sleeping with her.

Matt scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest, "I saw you both last shift in the bathroom, couldn't even wait to get her home, you had to get her while she was in the showers…"

Sudden realisation came over Kelly, Matt was talking about last shift where he was calming Gabby down, after she had freaked out in the showers, after something Matt had said to her had freaked her out. "Take a step back right now Casey. You don't know anything about Gabby and you don't know anything about what was going on last shift…" Kelly turned, he needed to leave this small office or else he would probably knock Matt out, it wouldn't be the first time the two best friends had gone at each other like this.

"You need to start thinking Casey. Because this, whatever this is, it's not you." Kelly walked away, leaving Matt to sit there in his own anger, frustration rising even more. None of them knew what was really going on, none of them understood the pain he was in, it had been three months and none of them knew.

* * *

"So Gabby. How's the first shift?" Shay laughed as she looked over at Gabby behind the bar, finding it increasingly amusing that she was there. It wasn't too long ago that Gabby had helped get Molly's back up and running that Otis and Herman agreed to add her name to the ownership; thus making her part of the staff as well.

But Gabby didn't mind, she enjoyed working behind the bar; she got to talk to a lot of people. One of those people being Shay, who was seated next to Kelly looking very happy to see her. "Yeah Dawson; this suits you..." He laughed as he took a swig of his beer; letting it slide down his throat.

"Ha ha," Gabby laughed as she swatted him with her towel, glancing to her side she saw the other lieutenant of their house sitting there. Rolling her eyes, Gabby made her way to him, removing his empty glass before giving him a full one. She stopped for a moment, she wanted to apologise for her comments last shift but she doubted that it would make a difference, but she figured she should try.

Clearing her throat, Gabby glanced over to Shay and Kelly who were watching her confused, unsure of what she was doing. Taking a deep breath, Gabby stood in front of Matt, a moment passing before his eyes travelled from the TV he was watching to her standing there, his face stoic. "Hey um…" She flicked her towel over her shoulder, giving him a moment to register what she was talking to him.

Matt looked back at Gabby as she stood there; his eyebrow raised at her, unsure what she was doing. She never sought him out for a conversation and he never sought her out so why was she standing there? "Casey…I just wanted to apologise for what I said last shift. I didn't know about your family and I shouldn't have said it…"

Gabby swallowed deeply, she hoped that he would take her apology; she really did feel bad about what she had said to him. Matt's face fell as she apologised to him. He should have been angry that Kelly had told her about his past, he should have been angry that she was bringing it up again, but the look on her face kept that anger down.

He could tell she really was sorry; this wasn't just something she was saying. He could have ignored her, being that he was still angry, he could have said something that would have made it worse but as he watched her, he chose against it. With a sharp nod he spoke, "It's ok." And what was all she needed, it was a reply that didn't bite her head off; she would take it from him.

Gabby smiled back at him gently, enough to settle them for the time being. In silence, she moved from in front of him, back to Kelly who just smiled, she was being the bigger person. As Gabby moved back to her work Kelly moved to sit beside Matt, drinking his beer. "So…Dawson apologised huh?"

Matt rolled his eyes, "Yeah she did. You shouldn't have told her. It's none of her business, Sev." He glanced back from the TV to look at Kelly who just shrugged.

True, he probably shouldn't have but he felt that it was right. "Maybe so but I felt like she needed to know. If for nothing other than to get her to understand why you reacted the way you did. Look man, Gabby is one of my closest friends but I'm not sleeping with her ok. She has been through a lot as well. Trust me when I say that ok…"

Matt just watched Kelly move away back to Shay who was laughing with Gabby, both their heads thrown back, smiles wide on their faces. They both looked happy, Gabby looked happy.

This was the first time in a long time that he really looked at Gabby. After her apology moments ago, he took the chance to take her in. Her smile was bright, her eyes lighting up when she spoke passionately about something, she got so excited about whatever it was that she was talking about. She was beautiful, stunning really and so far, it was only him that she was short with. Everyone else in the firehouse loved her, she was bright and cheerful and bubbly with everyone else but him; not that he could blame her really.

Her smile was different than hers. Gabby's was genuine, kind. Hers was forced and painful, something that Matt should have seen long before he did. Deciding that Molly's was not where he needed to be right then, Matt stood suddenly, his mind only on drinking himself asleep, drinking away the thoughts and memories of both Gabby and her.

* * *

Antonio smiled as he saw his sister leaning against the ambo, she looked so at peace, so calm and happy, it was a smile he hadn't seen in a very long time. He had hoped moving to 51 would help her find her way but when she had told him that she would be working with Shay and Kelly, he couldn't be happier, he knew that they would help her no matter what.

"Geez sis, why don't you get a job?" He called out as he walked up the driveway, his smile wide as she noticed him.

Looking up the drive, Gabby laughed, she and Antonio were 9 years apart but they were as close as ever, he'd always been very protective of her, something that for a while she was very, very thankful for. "Hey Tonio, at least I'm not bumming around like you…enjoy your donuts?" She swatted his stomach as he got closer, feeling him tense against her.

"Hey now, I happen to like the pudginess…" He pulled Gabby into a hug turning it into a headlock as she laughed, trying to get away from him. He loved hearing that laugh, it really had been too long.

Groaning, Gabby tried to pull away from his grasp, settling for a sigh and relaxing her body, "Not that I don't love seeing you but what are you doing here?" He didn't often come and visit her at work but when he did, it usually meant he had something bad to tell them.

Letting Gabby slip through his grasp, Antonio smiled, embracing Shay and Kelly in a tight hello hug. "It's been too long Tonio …" Kelly spoke quietly, the last time they had seen each other, it was under less that happy circumstances. Antonio nodding against Kelly, he wished they could see more of each other.

"Yeah I know, work has just gotten crazy so it's been hard but ah…I wanted to check in my little sister, make sure she is making friends and all that…" He poked his tongue out at Gabby as a reply to her doing the same, he had done this once before when they were kids, checking in on her when they were at school.

"Can you not?" She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest, she wasn't a child and she didn't need him checking up on her.

Shay laughed, this was something she missed, seeing them interacting, glad that they were finally able to do this again. "She is making friends with most of the kids here Tonio, don't you worry about that." But it wasn't until after she spoke did she realise what she had said, Antonio picking up on the 'most' instantly. He looked over at Gabby who rolled her eyes again before glaring at Shay. "On that note, Kelly…let's head inside before…ah, well…before Antonio loses it…"

She latched on to Kelly instantly, pulling him from the scene and into the firehouse, leaving Gabby and Antonio on their own; a knowing look passing between them. "So what's this about 'most'?" She really hated that he picked up on that, now he was going to go all Antonio on the situation.

Gabby sighed, "Nothing Tonio ok? Just me and the other lieutenant just don't see eye to eye, that's all…" She wanted to play it off, didn't want him to get involved, but it was clear that that wasn't going to happen. "Listen, I promise, it's ok. We just…get under each other's skin is all. He baits me and I bite…does that surprise you?" She raised her eyebrow at him, gaining a nod in return.

Antonio wanted to make a joke, wanted to laugh it off but he worried about her. "Gabby, I just want to make sure you are ok…are you sure you are alright here? I mean if this lieutenant is giving you grief-"

She groaned again, "He isn't, really it's fine." Wanting to change the subject, Gabby nodded her head towards the firehouse, "You wanna go inside, meet everyone you don't already know?" She wanted to get off this topic of Matt Casey, but it would come up again, especially considering she was just about to introduce him to Antonio.

Letting Gabby lead him inside, Antonio took note of the layout and the fire fighters he saw, he liked keeping track of everyone that was around his sister. As they walked into the common room, it didn't take Antonio long to pick out the lieutenant he knew to be the one Gabby had been butting heads with. He watched as he looked up from his paper, watched her for a moment before looking down, not even acknowledging her.

But at the same time, Antonio knew Matthew Casey from his time with Hank Voight, Matt getting into trouble with Voight and Antonio helping him out. From what he knew, Matt was a nice guy, he couldn't understand how he and Gabby didn't get along.

"Alright guys, just wanted to give you the heads up that if you see this ugly face around…run the other way!" Laughter filtered through the common room as everyone looked towards Gabby, "Nah this is my brother Antonio, he is detective from the 21st, he is in the intelligence unit." Most of them greeted him with a happy hello, Herman reaching out and shaking his hand, many waving.

"Just wanted to drop by and see how my sister was going, making sure she isn't being too much of a pain in the ass…" this elicited many laughs. Antonio focussing on Matt instantly, watching as he looked away from them. "If you guys need anything, just give me a call." Boden, who had walked in moments after the introductions thanked Antonio, saying that it was going to be helpful having a contact as close as him at PD, knowing they have needed help many times in the past.

Gabby looked up at him, "You sticking around for lunch?" Antonio nodded, looking over to see a feast had been set up already. As each of the other fire fighters made their way to the bench, Antonio looked around for one in particular; he had been eyeing Matt since he got there. He wanted to bite his head off for being a dick to his sister but at the same time he knew not to get too far into her business.

Slowly he made his way over to Matt, sitting by his side, waiting for some kind of acknowledgement, Matt looking up at him instantly.

Antonio had seen this Matt Casey before, tired, angry, hangover but the last he had seen it was when he was being harassed by Voight, keeping him up all night, late night calls and anger towards the crooked cop. Antonio felt for him, he knew how much of a toll the issues with Voight had taken on him, how it almost destroyed him and sitting beside him right now was the reflection of the man who he had almost seen destroyed in front of him.

There was no words between Matt and Antonio as they sat there, a look passing between the both of them, enough to show understanding, a mutual understanding of their past situation and relationship but also to the new relationship that would grow due to the issues between himself and Gabby. The only thing that pulled Antonio away from that seat was the call of food; Gabby telling him to hurry or else he would miss out.

* * *

Matt sighed as he rested his head against the side of the couch, mid morning shining through the open blinds of the living room, his mind running a mile a minute on the thought that Gabriella Dawson, the beautiful, pain in his ass, was the sister of the man who pretty much saved his life only years ago. How could he have not connected the dots? How could he not have seen it?

Maybe it had something to do with the age difference, or that they had never really talked about anything other than Voight and how things were at home. Maybe because he honestly just hadn't thought of the connection. But whatever it was, whatever had made him miss it was not connecting all the dots and he was now seeing the bigger picture.

Or should he say memory. The bigger memory of a time in his life that he honestly couldn't hold himself together, that other than Antonio there was only one person who was holding him together. And that thought brought him back to the memory of what had happened months ago. The pain and anger he had felt back then coming back tenfold.

He just wanted to forget, wanted to move on and not have that night playing like a broken record over and over again in his mind. He wanted to smash that record, splinter it into a million tiny pieces that could never be put back together, but instead he opted for the option that was the least smart.

He opted to shatter his mind into a million pieces, his fingers running over the smooth edges of the cut glass bottle of bourbon by his side, the half empty bottle that he had unscrewed the lid off the minute he had gotten home. His eyes were red and blood shot and as he stared up at the ceiling, an ache took over his body and a tear fell from his eye, a tear that rolled down the side of his face, losing itself in his hair line the same way he lost himself to the alcohol that was numbing his pain.

* * *

 **So thoughts? Feelings? I hope we are still enjoying this ride because the next chapter brings in a lot of information :D Please review!**


	4. Where the Sidewalks Crack

**I am so sorry this has taken SO long, I have just been flat out at work and I started my Chicago Fire Marathon and I have just been so caught up watching I just haven't written.**

 **Anywho, this is the long awaited chapter…well I hope it's the long awaited chapter… hehe. Please let me know what you think! :D – I may have stolen the start of this from an episode of CF hehe.**

 **Thank you to everyone who reviewed/favourite/alerted, I get very excited when I see something new in my emails hehe**

 **Chapter 4 – Where the Sidewalks Crack**

Matt groaned as she ground her hips against his, electricity shooting through his body, her lips against his neck, attacking the skin she found, loving the reactions she was getting, smirking against him.

Shifting slightly, Matt was able to bring his legs closer to him, she was on his lap, legs wrapped around his hips, moving against him, their naked bodies grinding against each other. Pulling away from her slightly, Matt was able to look her in the eye, a darkness there that he recognised, want, desire, lust, love…everything that was reflected in his eyes no doubt. They were so close, there was no space between them.

Stopping her movements with his hands on her hips, he waited a moment, watching her swallow deeply before he slipped his hand into her hair, bringing her lips to his, kissing her passionately, a groan leaving her lips as she kissed him back.

Within the kiss, she started rocking her hips against his again, tightening the grip of her legs around him, his hands slipping down her back, both spreading across the expanses of her shoulder blades, pulling her close to him as her movements became rapid and uncontrolled, tumbling over the edge the minute that Matt's lips found her neck, biting down playfully, her head rolling backwards, a deep moan coming from her lips as she came down from her high.

Shaking in his arms, Matt smiled as he kissed her lightly before flipping them over easily, his heart swelling at her giggle, she was so at ease and happy, that smile of hers would light up a room and it was lighting up his life. " _I love you"_ he whispered as he leaned over, his lips touching hers lightly.

It wasn't until she whispered back an _I love you_ that he began to move again, it was the first time they had uttered those words, the first time that bam had broken between them. With a wide smile, Matt rested his forehead against hers as he started to move, his hips rocking against her, her right leg hitched high against his side, bringing him close to her, bringing him deeper.

Her tightening around him was driving him crazy, he couldn't hold back anymore, letting a deep growl from his lips, Matt let himself completely lose control, letting himself fall over that edge, bringing her with him once again.

Slowing his hips, Matt raised himself up on his hands, looking down at her, messy hair, face glistening with sweat, her eyes closed but her mouth slightly agape, a smile playing on her lips.

Looking down at her, he brushed away a piece of hair that had stuck to her cheek, he smiled as her eyes opened, a lazy smile finding hers. Searching her face he sighed, "I love you Gabby…"

Matt shot up in bed, his heart racing and his mind all over the place. What the hell was that? What the hell had he been dreaming? Huffing deeply, he stared at the ceiling, trying to catch his breath.

 _Gabby?_

Of all the people he could be dreaming about, why the hell was it Gabby Dawson?

He hated the girl…ok that was a lie, he didn't hate her, they just didn't see eye to eye but he didn't think enough of her to be having that dream.

And love? _I love you Gabby_? What the hell was going on? _I don't love her; I don't know her enough to have any sort of feelings towards her._

Rolling over, he groaned as his lower parts brushing against the mattress, he sighed into his pillow.

Shift was going to be a bitch.

* * *

And he was right, from the minute he walked into the firehouse later that morning, it was going to be one hell of a shift. He was running late, that was the first thing, the look he got from Boden, he knew he was in trouble but that wasn't the worst of it.

As he stepping inside the common room, there was Gabby, sitting on the bench in the kitchen, her legs swinging as she listened to something that Shay was saying, throwing her head back, she giggled.

She _giggled._

Oh he really hated her now. Flashes oh her head thrown back against his sheets, the hitch of her breath as he kissed her neck, the giggle she let out when he flipped them mover.

Oh how he hated her right now.

And she had no idea.

Moving further into the room, he nodded a good morning before moving towards the lockers. Sitting silently, he sighed, he needed to get his head straight, between his Gabby and _her_ , he just didn't know what was going on.

He tired to block out her giggling; tried to block out her voice; flashes of his dream coming back to him as he sat their, his body tightening at those sounds. It had been a while for him and so it didn't surprise him that a dream like the one he had that night had rattled him, he just didn't understand why it had to be Gabby he was dreaming out. Yes she got under his skin, that didn't mean he had feelings for her.

"Hey Casey, you alright?" Shay called out as she noticed him sitting there, his hands on his knees, trying to calm himself down. "You look like hell…"

He rolled his eyes, "Gee thanks Shay. I appreciate that." He snapped, not looking at her. He wasn't in the mood for any of it, wasn't in the mood for being to centre of the jokes, he just wanted to get changed and sit in his office, he needed clear his head.

Shay backed away, standing by Gabby's side, her hands up in surrender, "Alright, alright. Just having a laugh. Don't bite my head off. She turned towards Gabby and Kelly, sending a glance in Kelly's direction; noticing that he looked worried as he watched his best friend. A look she had seen more often than not the last few months.

It wasn't long until both lieutenants had settled themselves into their own offices, trying to get through as much paperwork as they possibly could. Kelly was lost in his own thoughts until he heard a knock at his door, glancing up he found Matt standing there, looking back at him a little sheepish. "You got a sec?"

It wasn't often that Matt sought him out recently for a chat; it was something they used to do more often than not, both leaning on the other when they needed help. But lately Matt had been pulling away, not just from him but also from everyone. It really worried Kelly how much Matt was pulling away, how much he was closing himself off from his family and friends.

Matt moved inside the office as Kelly nodded, closing the door behind him before leaning against his desk. "I ah…I need to ask you something…." Matt rubbed his forehead, he felt stupid talking about this, but after the last hours he had been locked up in his own office, trying to clear his head, he needed to talk to someone.

Leaning back in his chair, Kelly rested his arms on the arms of his chair, taking all of Matt in. He looked tired, something that he come to expect from Matt over the last few months, he either looked tired or hung over and most of the time both. But this was different, he looked _confused_. Taking Kelly's silence as a means to continue Matt sighed, "I've been having these dreams, well one really, but I just don't know what to make of it…"

It wasn't often that Matt looked embarrassed, but he was, talking to Kelly about his feelings was _embarrassing_. "I dreamed about telling someone else I loved them…" He wasn't even sure if that made any sense at all, he just hoped Kelly understood.

He must have as he nodded, leaning forward, "Who are you telling?" He wasn't sure if it actually mattered or not, he just wanted to know.

Something crossed Matt's face before he shook his head, it was quick but it was there, "Doesn't matter who," But it was defensive, clear whoever it was wasn't just a random person. Matt knew this really had nothing to do with Gabby, he knew he didn't love her, it wasn't his subconscious telling him something. He tolerated her, liked her maybe, but he didn't love her.

Kelly thought for a moment, if Matt had been in love with someone new, he would look as miserable as he had been, he wouldn't have been drinking as much as he had been, "Maybe…maybe it's your mind's way of telling you it's finally time to move on from Hallie. That you can't stay stuck on her forever."

This caused Matt to look up, thinking for a moment, "I'm not stuck on Hallie, I want _nothing_ to do with her." The thought of getting back together with Hallie made him sick, he moved on from her, it just still hurt.

"I'm not saying that you are," Kelly raised his hands in defence, he didn't want to upset Matt while he was there, opening talking to him. "But you drink more than you should most nights, you are miserable and honestly, you're kind of a jack ass most days…so whatever happened between the two of you is still affecting you."

He watched as Matt thought about what he was saying. He was right, Matt knew he was being an ass, he knew he was drinking like a fish and he knew it wasn't good for him, he just couldn't stop. The silence of his own home was deafening and the memories were always there, drinking just seemed to numb the pain.

"I'm just saying that maybe it's time to let the pain go. Whatever happened isn't worth hurting yourself over…" Matt nodded, looking away, he felt like he was going to cry, and honestly, he had had enough crying over all this, it just hurt so much some days.

Swallowing deeply Matt sighed, mumbling, "Yeah, thanks man," before moving from Kelly's office to his own.

Kelly sighed, leaning back in his chair, he really was worried about Matt. He still had no idea what had happened between the two of them, he wished he did because at least that way he would have an understanding of what was affecting him so much. Turning back to his paper, Kelly tried to continue writing, instead, he couldn't get his mind off the pain Matt was clearly in.

* * *

He had been so lucky to get a parking so close to the firehouse, usually when he was running late he would have to park around the corner and honestly that just sucked. Not for any real reason, just that the walk sucked. So when he realised he had forgotten something in his car, he was thankful that he didn't have to walk far.

His chat with Kelly the week before had helped a little, it had put a few things into perspective but it hadn't really stopped the drinking, it had lessened a little but not stopped. He still passed out most night, most morning waking up with a hang over, but instead of a full bottle of whiskey being drunk, it was only three quarters – baby steps right?

Glancing down at his phone, Matt smiled when he saw the picture of him and his niece Violet. God he loved that kid, she was too cute for her own good and he loved to spoiler her whenever he got the chance. She was the only thing that made him smile like he hadn't in a very long time, that only thing that made him think that his world was going to be ok. Smiling to himself once again, Matt slipped his phone back into his pocket, glancing up as he neared the end of the driveway, his smile fading instantly.

Matt stopped dead in his tracks, his hands clenching at his sides, his jaw locked, heat rising in his chest and his face, anger taking over his body as she stood there. She was coming towards him, her flowing dark hair, long legs, bright smile on her face, light in her eyes...she looked _good_.

Oh how he hated her.

He wanted to scream, wanted to throw something at her, wanted to turn and run, wanting to pretend he hadn't seen her but he couldn't. She was almost in front of him, not allowing him to bypass her.

"Hi Matt..." Her voice was as soft as it always was, light and airy when she smiled at him. Smile like it was the most normal thing in the world, like seeing her there should have made him the happiest he ever was.

But it wasn't, Matt was losing his composure, and he hadn't even said a word yet. Swallowing deeply he replied, "What do you want Hallie?" He didn't have time for this, he was tired from shift and from home and he was tired from his construction gigs, he honestly didn't want to even acknowledge her but it was kinda hard not to when she was standing in front of him, staring back at him, smiling at him.

Hallie could tell that this was going to be a short conversation, she expected nothing less, but the hatred in his eyes shocked her. She had expected to see anger, expected to see hurt and disappointment but she had never known Matthew Casey to look at anyone with the hatred she could see now.

Sighing, she dropped her voice, "I wanted to see you. I wanted to apologise for-"

But he cut her off, laughing at her as she tired to speak, "Apologise? You've gotta be fucking kidding me" he groaned, shaking his head "...Hallie, there is only one thing I want from you and that is to turn around and walk away. I don't need you apology and more to the point I don't want your apology."

He moved to brush past her, he really did need to get to his truck but as he did, Hallie reached out for him, her hand finding his, but Matt pulled away instantly, almost as if he had been burned, the look in his eyes deepening as he looked down at her. "Matt, please..." Her voice was barely a whisper, begging him.

"Hallie...walk away right now." He would never threaten her, would never hurt her but he would yell, he would raise his voice and he would explode with every emotion he had been holding in for the last four months if she didn't walk away from him right now.

Slowly her hand slipped from his, her eyes searching his, looking for the man she used to know. But he was gone and the man staring back at her now was not the Matt she knew, he was gone. Nodding quickly, Hallie turned on her heels, rushing from the driveway and back to her car, leaving a fuming Matt standing alone, trying to get his head around the fact that she had come to see him.

Glancing back towards the open garage doors, Matt looked away instantly, the members for the firehouse had been on the apparatus floor, chatting and laughing, enjoying the nice warm day.

They had seen it all. Seen the interaction, seen Hallie and seen Matt and seen the way he had react. He sighed, moving quickly to his car, out of sight for the firehouse, he needed to get his emotions under control or else this was going to turn into a disaster.

* * *

Gabby laughed as she sat on the floor, Pouch coming to her side instantly, looking for food that gabby almost always had. "Come on girl...can you find it?" Gabby moved her hands around, making Pouch work for her treat, getting a laugh when she started whine, gabby was making it too hard for her.

"No wonder she has been putting on weight! Eh Dawson! Stop feeding her!" Herman called from behind her, laughing when pouch decided to jump on Gabby instead, having enough of this game, she caused Gabby to fall backwards. "That as what you get for teasing."

Gabby smiled as she opened her hand for Pouch, the dog instantly sniffing out the treat. As Gabby turned to look outside, she saw Matt standing still, his arms at his side, his back straight. "Who is that?" It was just a curiosity of Gabby's, Matt didn't look happy, she hadn't really seen him stand the way he was, she had seen him angry at her, but he never stood like that.

She glanced up to find Herman at her side, the rest of the firehouse quiet, watching as well. Herman sighed, "That's Hallie. His ex fiancé..." That's all that needed to be said for Gabby to realise that something bad had happened to them, obviously something more than what she knew, she doubted the rest of the guys would tell her either.

And then as Hallie reached for his hand and Matt pulled away as thought he had been burned, she could tell that whatever had happened was hurting Matt more than it was hurting Hallie. He looked so lost and so angry, she kinda felt sorry for him. Gabby couldn't take her eyes off the two of them, then rest of 51 also watching unsure of what was going on.

It was true, Matt had never told anyone before what had actually happened between himself and Hallie, keeping that one close to the chest but it was clear that it was bad. Hearing Pouch growl deeply by her side, it pulled Gabby from her thoughts, her hand patting Pouch to calm her down, the dog focussed on protecting Matt, she had always been protective of Matt. Not liking having Hallie in the house, if a dog doesn't like you, chances are you have done something pretty bad.

It was strange how a dog could tell from that far away that there was a hostility in the air between them and her first instinct was to protect her family. Matt was as much Pouch's family, having done most of her training, she had grown attached to Matt the most, always by his side, sleeping at the foot of his bed on night shift.

With one last glance up, Gabby watched as Hallie moved away from Matt moments before Matt continued on towards his truck, but not before looking back over his shoulder at the firehouse, clearly hoping that no one had seen that interaction.

Furrowing her brow, Gabby watched as Matt disappeared from her sight, noticing that most of the rest of the firehouse had just gone on their way, back to their previous activities, all but Kelly, who watched the interaction with worry, before glancing to her, seeing the same worry reflected in her eyes.

* * *

Gabby didn't expect to find Matt out the back of the firehouse later that afternoon. Their relationship had eased a little since her apology at Molly's, most of the time just being civil enough to each other that they could get through the shift, both being too stubborn to apologise for how they had acted in the past, both thinking they were right.

She still thought that Matt was self-centred, egotistical and arrogant, at least that's what she had seen from him, he would bate her into an argument, she would do the same to him. Both staring each other down as they tried to prove who was better. She honestly felt like he had s chip on his shoulder about something. Something that he needed to get over before she really lost it with him. But she was happy that they had settled a little bit, it made work life easier when they weren't arguing all the time.

But as she stepped off that landing onto the ground and saw him hunched over in that chair, his head in his hands, deep, slow breaths escaping his chest, part of her heart broke for him.

He looked so broken sitting there; nothing like the strong man she had been butting heads with for the better part of three months. He looked small, tired and just _sad_. It was clear he was hiding himself away from the rest of the firehouse; his office would be too easy for someone to walk in, the common room to loud to think straight. He wanted to stay hidden, close himself off from the world around him.

She debated turning around and walking way, she was sure she was the last person he wanted to see and thought that leaving him in peace to continue in his thoughts was the best or maybe she should make sure he was ok, he might have been an ass but the person she was staring at was not the person she knew. But she couldn't, she suddenly hated seeming him sitting there like that, her desire to help him taking over. With one foot in front of the other, Gabby came close to his side, hoping the movement would alert him to someone being there. After a moments thought, she spoke, "You ok?"

It was a question that could be answered easily, however he wanted to answer, spouting off any type of lie she could think of just to get rid of the person standing there but at first she shocked him, he hadn't heard the door open or close, hadn't heard the foot steps she had made when walking to his side and had never expected Gabby to be the one asking him how he was.

Moving his hands from his face, Matt rubbed his eyes and his nose, sniffing back what was clear to Gabby as tears, her heart breaking for him even more, he had been crying, not just sadness but tears. This as not the person what she knew, this was not the Matt Casey who challenged her at every turn or that gave her attitude.

This was someone entirely different.

Sitting up straighter Matt sniffed again, he didn't look up at her, tears still falling from his eyes, he didn't want to show her, didn't want to show weakness, not that he thought crying was a weakness, just showing her would be his weakness, "Ah yeah. I'm fine."

He was angry

 _I'm fine._

He was numb.

 _I'm fine._

He was shaking.

 _I'm fine._

He was going to be sick.

 _I'm fine._

He wasn't fine.

Nodding to herself for a moment, Gabby debated speaking again but she didn't want to upset him even more, didn't want to cause any more problems between them. If he wanted to talk, he would and it was clear he didn't want to so she mumbled an 'OK' before turning around. But just as she reached the door, her hand outstretched for the handle, Matt spoke again.

"She's pregnant..." This caused Gabby to stop. She wasn't sure what he meant by that. Well it was obvious what it meant but his actions and emotions confused her. Turning back around, she moved to his side. He had opened up to her, he obviously needed something to talk to and as much as they had been at each other's throats, she was going to listen to him.

Gabby took a seat next to him, her hands folded into her lap but she leaned forward, looking up at his face, seeing the pain that was there. His eyes were red, tired. Matt sighed, "Hallie and I had been together for about eight years. We were engaged and in love...and then I found out about four months ago that she had been cheating on me. She had been sleeping with another doctor out at Lakeshore. Had been for about six months..."

He looked up at Gabby for a moment, a look in his eyes wondering how she would react to this information, would she use it against him or be kind. When he did look up at her, all he found was sadness. Sadness that someone had hurt him, sadness that he was still hurting.

He laughed a dry laugh, rubbing his eyes again, "We had this one shift that ended in us being involved in an explosion. The CFD sent us home early; we weren't capable of continuing out duties that day. We lost a fire fighter; I lost a close friend in that call so home we went. All I wanted to do was lay in bed with Hallie and cry. I knew she was home, I had spoken to her before that call, so I pushed open the bedroom door when I got home and there she was..."

Gabby felt terrible, not only had he lost his fiancé, he had lost a close friend at the same time. She didn't know what to say.

Luckily he continued, "She was asleep, in my bed, curled into the arms of this other man...So I slammed the door, waking them both up."

He sighed, he hated remembering this, it was like a bad fucking joke, "I don't really remember how I got into the kitchen or how long it took Hallie to follow me but I do remember standing there, hands on the counter, staring at the floor. God I felt sick...and _then_ she told me she was pregnant...that the baby wasn't mine." He was shaking his head, still in shock from those words

Gabby wanted to cry for him, she wanted to hold him tightly and try to make the hurt go away, she would see the anger and the pain. He retold the story like he was reading a book, picking hid words very carefully as not to bring out too many emotions. "She didn't even want kids, she had never wanted kids...she told me that she would have them if it happened because I wanted them but she didn't actually want to have kids..."

He laughed again, this was insane, how could this be happening? "I wanted a family, I wanted kids…I _want_ a family, I _want_ kids and I was willing to giving up the one thing I really, truly wanted to be with her only to find out she is having a kid with someone else." Matt rubbed his face again, this time a tear had slipped down his cheek. It hurt so much for him to tell Gabby what happened.

He had never told anyone that the real reason they had broken up, they just assumed that it had just happened, that they had grown apart or it just didn't work out. No one knew what he was going through. Not Kelly or Boden…no one.

Except Gabby.

Gabby didn't know what to say, what do you say to something like that? Instead she gently placed her arm around his shoulders, resting her head against the side of his. She felt him tense for a moment before relaxing, before leaning into her side.

This was enough for him to understand that she felt for him, that words didn't to be said because this was something different. And so they sat there for a moment, just letting Matt think through what had been said. "They don't know, do they?" it was quiet but Matt heard it.

He shook his head against her, "No. No one does. As far as the firehouse knows, we just _broke up_. And I've been a jerk ever since," He shrugged against her, moving away, her arm slipping from around his shoulder back to her side. He had to laugh a little bit, he had been a jerk, he knew that but it was as though he couldn't change it.

They sat in silence again, something had changed between them both, it was only small, and it was clear to them both something had changed, this was a side of Matt she hadn't seen before. She hated seeing him so upset; clearly holding onto this pain without anyone else knowing was taking its toll.

That was something she knew all too well.

After a few moments of silence, Gabby rubbed her hands on her legs, trying to find the courage to tell him something she had been keeping herself. If he could open up to her then she could open up to him, maybe it would help him understand that it was ok to be angry but it shouldn't let it consume him.

"I ah...I was in a relationship, for about 5 years...it ended about 8 months ago...I never told anyone but he was abusive..." Gabby rubbed her hands together; this was also the first time she would be telling anybody about her previous relationship, except for Shay and Kelly. "He would come home at night drunk. Started off that he would be verbally abusive, he would blame me for things, yell and scream and _then_ , then it escalated pretty quickly."

She looked up at Matt who was watching her closely, not believing what he was hearing, how could someone do that to her? They may have butted heads and he felt like he didn't like her but she was a kind, sweet girl who didn't deserve any kind of abuse like that.

"I know it probably doesn't seem like I could have been in a relationship like that for so long considering how you and I argue but I was, I was a different person back then, I don't even think you would recognise me…" She laughed a little, she honestly couldn't believe the sort of person she was back then. Clearing her throat, she continued, Matt looking over at her, his face soft, sad for her. "I'd ah…I'd wake up in rooms I didn't remember being in around the apartment. I'd have bruises to cover and cuts to explain away."

Gabby shrugged again, it was hard telling him but it also felt good, she wasn't sure why it felt good. Telling him felt easy, she felt better knowing that he knew. She didn't know why.

It was Matt's turn to place his arm around her shoulder, bringing her to his side, "I'm so sorry Gabby..." It was soft, gently and caring. Something she wasn't used to from him. He felt her rest her head against his shoulder, fitting into his side, feeling him squeeze her shoulder lightly.

Matt looked over to Gabby after a moment, his mind travelling back to their past interactions. It had suddenly dawned on him, how she had reacted that day in the bunk room, when he had confronted her about making Violet cry. She had cringed as he raised his hand, raised his voice. "That day in the bunkroom…when Violet was in the house…"

But he didn't need to continue, feeling her nod against his shoulder, "You scared me, it reminded me of him…" She turned her head to look up at him, blinking back the tears that had started to pool.

Matt sighed, "I'm sorry Gabs, I never wanted that."

They may have not been getting along but he never wanted to be the reason she was scared, he never wanted to be the reason for her remembering such an awful time. Gabby nodded once again against his shoulder, "Yeah I know. It's ok Matt. You didn't know…" she mumbled in reply, Matt thinking back to that time, hating that that is what had happened to her, that he was the reason for upsetting her like that.

Silence came over them both once more as they sat there quietly, holding each other up as their stories sunk in.

* * *

Herman eyed Gabby as she sat at the round table in the common room, she looked a little different, she looked happy but that wasn't what was confusing him, it was the fact that Matthew Casey was sitting by her side. Sitting quietly, head down over the paper he was reading but he was sitting _next_ to her.

Watching Matt move away from the table after a few moments, a slight glance shared between himself and Gabby, Hermann tucked his paper under his arm, before taking the seat next to Gabby that Matt had once held up. No one else in the room was really paying much attention to him though, Mouch and Cruz were both watching TV, Otis on his laptop and squad were outside at their own table.

Gabby hadn't looked up at him as he took his seat, her eyes focused on her phone, playing some sort of game he wasn't sure about. But she could feel him watching her, studying her, "What's up Herman?" She didn't even look over at him, her fingers still moving over her screen as she played her game. As she waited for her reply, Gabby raised her eyebrow, wondering why he was watching her in such silence.

Leaning over with his arms crossed over on the table Herman, whispered, "What is going on with you and Casey?"

This stopped her in her tracks, why the hell would he think something was going on between them?" Looking over, Gabby raised her eyebrow once again, unsure of how to respond. "Not too long ago, you two couldn't stand each other and now you are sitting by each other's side, making jokes…"

Gabby opened her mouth, there wasn't anything going on between them; just had a mutual respect and understanding between them now. She shrugged; "So because we aren't biting each other's head's off, you think something is going on?" She raised her eyebrow once more, this time in a teasing manner, almost testing him.

"Nah…just weird…" Gabby was right, he couldn't assume something was happening between them just because they weren't fighting, it really was just weird. He watched as Gabby let out a small laugh, turning her head back towards the game, ending their conversation right there. Moving back to his original spot, Herman watched as Matt moved towards his office, a quick glance over his shoulder at Gabby before turning out of sight.

 _What the hell was going on?_

* * *

"Hey Dawson, can I grab a beer?" Gabby looked up from behind the bar at Molly's, Matt sitting opposite her, his eyes dark and cloudy. It had been over a week since he had told her about that had happened with Hallie, over a week since she had told him what had happened to her. The air had changed between them, it had settled, shifted, a mutual respect and even type of friendship had grown, something special between the two of them.

The rest of the firehouse didn't understand the change, some confused by it, unsure, but they were happy when shift was easy, not having to worry about what would set them off next.

Gabby moved from Shay's side, the girls had been in deep conversation about something before Matt had interrupted. "Yeah of course…" She whispered, placing a beer in front of him. She was worried though, he had been drinking more since seeing Hallie, most of the time he would be sitting in the back corner of Molly's, alone and sad.

She had heard from Kelly that he hadn't been doing much construction since then, and that worried her the most, he was drowning himself, choosing not to do the one thing that would keep his head above water when he wasn't on shift. She watched as he placed his beer to his lips, taking a long swig before looking back at her, noticing her staring.

"Matt…" She leaned her hand over, touching his, but he pulled away like she had burned him, he was drunk and angry. "You gotta stop doing this to yourself…please…" But he had locked his jaw, tears brimming his eyes as he looked back at her before he stood suddenly, leaving the half empty beer on the bench, somehow getting to the door without falling, letting it swing open harshly, letting into a rush of air.

Swallowing deeply, Gabby looked over to Kelly and Shay, she wasn't just worried, she was scared for him now.

 **Thoughts? :D**


	5. Titanium

**Hey guys, sorry for the long wait, I had more of this written a while ago but just got hard to find time for while there.**

 **Thank you to everyone who reviewed, I love you all and I hope you like this chapter! I have some big plans for what is coming up, so I hope this is keeping you entertained because it's gonna get interesting soon enough!**

 **Let me know what you think! :D**

* * *

 **Chapter 5 – Titanium**

Gabby laughed as she leaned over the back of the ambo, Shay having made a comment about how she needed to change teams. They had been doing inventory for the last twenty minutes, enjoying the quiet time that came very rarely in the firehouse; they could talk and get things done without being disturbed. "I'm sorry hun, but I like this team." It wasn't the first time Shay had made such a comment, falling into easy conversation as they always did.

As she leaned over to reach for something, Gabby felt a hand on her back, resting there gently but she jumped, spinning around, her heart racing. "Jesus Christ Matt. Don't do that!" He had scared her, not expecting anyone to touch her. "You really know how to give me a heart attack." Gabby laughed, watching as he dropped his head, a small smile coming to his lips.

"Sorry about that, just didn't want to make a scene…" They had kept their interactions close to the chest, not wanting to bring attention to themselves as they now shared something special. If they brought attention to themselves, then they would have to explain why things had changed between them, which would no doubt lead onto questions about Hallie.

Shay smiled, Gabby had told her a little about what was going on between them, that they had had a really good talk about a few things and it had changed what they thought about each other, but she still didn't know about what had actually happened, what Matt had told Gabby and what had happened to Gabby. "Do you have a minute?" He looked more up at Shay, hoping she would get the idea that he wanted to talk to Gabby alone for a few minutes, hoping she would leave them at the ambo.

"On that note; I'm hungry…" Shay announced, moving from the back of the ambo, a quick glance shot in Gabby's direction, who smiled back at her, thankful for her understanding. In truth, Shay didn't really understand what had changed, she was constantly asking Gabby about it, wanting to know more because it was obvious there was more to the story than she was getting but part of her was just happy that they were getting along. Both seeing the real person.

Leaning against the back of the ambo, Gabby watched as Matt took a seat next to her, he looked a little shy, unsure of himself. "What's up?" Bumping her shoulder against his, she hoped to ease whatever worry he had growing inside of him.

The last time she had seen him was at Molly's a few nights before. Where she had told him that he needed to stop hurting himself, where she had called him 'Matt' and asked him to stop. That night he had up and left, leaving the half empty beer bottle in front of her and Gabby watching him worriedly as he left Molly's. The same night he had finished off almost an entire bottle of Whiskey before passing out on the couch.

She hadn't seen or heard from him since. That morning when they had come into the fire house, she had seen him, watched as he looked her way before looking anywhere but at her, too embarrassed to look her in the eye after that night. Clearing his throat, Matt sighed, "I just wanted to thank you for not saying anything to anyone about Hallie. I know it could have been really easy for you to tell everyone…" He wouldn't look at her, scared of what her reaction would be.

Gabby blinked, scrunching her face, why would he think she would do something like that? "I'm not a bitch you know…" She bit back, defensiveness coming over her, she didn't like what he was insinuating. Gabby stood quickly, she knew he was thanking her but he really needed to make sure he picked his words correctly because he'd basically just called her a bitch.

Turning to leave his side, Matt reach out suddenly, grabbing onto her arm to stop her. "Wait, Gabby…" He didn't mean to upset her; he didn't want her to think that that was what he thought of her. "I'm sorry, that's not what I meant…" He watched as she turned to face him, searching his face before slowly taking a seat by his side once more.

Sighing deeply, he rubbed his face; "I just meant that I haven't really given you a reason to be nice to me recently. I just wanted to say thank you for not saying anything. I just don't want them all to know…" He shrugged, looking away from her again.

Gabby turned her head to the side, noticing Kelly and Squad laughing at their table before looking back at Matt. "You know…they aren't going to think less of you. _She_ cheated on _you_."

But Matt shrugged again. "They know all I've ever wanted is to have a family so finding out that Hallie is having a baby with someone else…I just don't want to deal with that." Gabby understood, she didn't want people to know her ex was abusive, not because it was her fault but just that she knew she would be looked at like a victim.

"You don't want them to see you as a victim. You don't want to be looked at _that_ way…" She completely understood, watching him nod his head, she got him. Matt looked up at her, a little shocked. "Remember, I've been through it too, I know what it feels like. Not wanting people to think you are the victim, not wanting them to look at you differently or feel sorry for you." She really did know how he was feeling.

Sighing, he rubbed his head, "I really just don't want to deal with it, the questions and the looks and the comments. I know they will mean well but I would prefer if it just stay between you and me." Gabby nodded, resting her hand against his, silence taking over them.

After a while she spoke, her voice quiet, "You know…I am worried about you Matt. You need to stop drinking as much as you do-"

But Matt cut her off, standing suddenly, "Hey it's alright. I've got it under control." Before he turned away from her, making his way back into the firehouse. Matt didn't want to talk about his drinking, he knew she was right but he didn't want to talk about it. He wanted to believe he had it under control, that he had a handle on it, but that lie slowly tasted sour in his mouth, even to him.

Gabby watched him go, even more unsure about how now, he honestly couldn't believe that he had it under control, there was no part of this that he had under control, but she would be there for him, help him if he asked, she just hoped he would ask.

* * *

"Anyone seen Lieutenant Casey?"

Boden's question struck the group, none of them had seen him that morning, and he wasn't there for role call, which that in itself was strange. Matt was never late, not at least without Boden already knowing he would be running late. Gabby glanced back at Kelly who was watching, then glancing at Shay, they were really worried knowing that Matt wasn't there.

Once role call was done, Gabby, Shay and Kelly found themselves in his office, "So you don't have any idea where he is?" Gabby asked, looking between Kelly and Shay. She hadn't heard from Matt in a few days, that wasn't unusual, when he was busy with construction jobs he wouldn't always message her but they had both become accustomed to their constant communication.

"Nah, I haven't heard from him, I figured you might have an idea." Shay shook her head, she couldn't believe they didn't know where he was.

Kelly crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Gabby, "Come on Gabs, you gotta tell us what is going on with him!" Kelly was frustrated, he hated not knowing where Matt was or what was going on with him, he knew something was happening but he didn't know what. And worse, Gabby wouldn't tell him.

"Look, I can't ok!" She bit back, getting upset that this was coming back to her. Sighing she rubbed her head, "Just…let's go for a drive, we will check out his place and see if he is there…" She looked over to Shay who nodded.

As they pulled up in front of Matt's home, Gabby turned to Shay before she could take her seat belt off, "Wait. I need to do this alone…please…" She looked at Shay with pleading eyes, if Matt _was_ there but something was wrong, he wouldn't forgive her for bringing Shay there. Slowly, Shay sat back against the seat, nodding slowly, before Gabby moved to get out, making her way up the steps to his front door.

Knocking a few times, Gabby waited to see if she would get an answer, calling out his name as well but that didn't seem to work. So with a flat hand, Gabby slowly pushed against the old, wooden front door, watching it swing open under the pressure. She was a little shocked and scared that it was actually open, not locked like she had hoped, This would be the first time she would be visiting Matt's apartment and she had no idea what to expect when she walked in but what she did find, she wasn't expecting at all.

Lying on his side, on the couch, surrounded by empty beer and whiskey bottles was Matt. Curled up with a blanket up to his neck and a pillow under his head, he looked peaceful and calm, a look she hadn't really seen on his face before. No doubt having drank himself to sleep last night.

She sighed, kneeling by his side, Gabby let her hand brush over his cheek, slipping through his hair, hoping it would be enough to wake him not but startle him. Slowly he stirred under her touch, turning into her touch. Blinking heavily, he looked up at her; trying to work out who she was and what she was doing in his home. "Gabby?" His voice was thick and heavy with sleepy.

She nodded, brushing her hand against his face again, her brows furrowing in worry at how much he had actually had to drink last night, her eyes darting from the bottles on the coffee table, back to his face. "We were worried when you didn't turn up for role call this morning…" She watched as it was his turn for his brow to furrow, confusion setting in.

He sat up quickly, the blanket falling away to show him in just his track pants; he looked so lost and confused as he looked around, unsure of what was happening. Matt rubbed his head, Rubbing his head sitting up too quickly, he looked over at the time, groaning, "Shit." He couldn't believe he had slept in, he couldn't believe he had gotten so drunk the night before that he hadn't even made it up to his own bed but instead falling asleep on the couch.

"Wow…Matt, slow down. Come on now…" Gabby placed her hands against his chest, trying to slow him down; she didn't want him getting up too quickly. "I told Chief that we were going to come and check on you…" At her words, Matt looked around, a little concerned that someone else was in the house seeing him like this. "Don't worry, Shay is outside in the ambo." She made him look at her, relaxing him a little. Slowly they rose, her hands still against his chest to steady him. "How about you head upstairs, get showered up and then we can head to the firehouse."

Matt swallowed, how was she so good to him after everything that he had done to her? Resting his hands on her shoulders, Matt nodded, wanting to thank her but not sure as to how, so instead he pulled her into a tight hug, burying his face into the crook of her neck, feeling her hug him back. Pulling away after a moment, Matt made his way to the stairs; slowly disappearing from sight as he took a step at a time up to the second level of the house.

Gabby looked around, rubbing her forehead as she sighed; she really was getting scared now. Matt couldn't keep doing this to himself; he couldn't keep pushing down all of his emotions, letting them bubble over before exploding. Leaning down she reached for the closest of the bottles, deciding to clean up a little while he was getting cleaned up. She thought about how she could help him, how Kelly had helped her when she had needed it most.

Twenty minutes had passed by the time Matt made his way back down stairs, freshly showered, shaved and dressed. Taking a few steps into the living room, he looked around. The bottles and cans were gone, the couch was straightened up and the pillow and blanket were folded neatly into the corner of the couch. He sighed; she had cleaned up for him..

How had he let things get this bad? She shouldn't be worried about him, she shouldn't have had to come and find him, passed out on the couch from the night before. She really _shouldn't_ have come in to clean up after him.

"Hey."

Turning at her voice, Matt found Gabby coming from the kitchen, she was standing there with a take away mug in her hands, holding it out for him. "Hey." He replied, reaching for the drink, letting it touch his lips and slip down his throat, warming him instantly. "Thanks for this…you really didn't have to." He was talking about the coffee, but motioning towards the living room, he was very embarrassed to say the least.

But she shrugged and smiled, "It's nothing really," she paused for a moment, "You really have me worried though, Matt." His replied was a nod. He knew she was worried; his drinking had increased since Hallie had shown up, over three weeks before. Seeing her that day, actually seeing her pregnant, it was like a shot to the heart. Clearing her throat, Gabby motioned towards the door, "Come on, let's get to the firehouse." And with that they made their way to the door, Gabby waiting for Matt to lock up behind her, ever so thankful that he was ok.

* * *

He knew this was coming, the minute he realised that he was well and truly late for shift, he knew that Boden was going to be angry and he was right too. Matt had never been late to a shift like this a day in his life, at least not without a legitimate reason and he was the lieutenant, he had to lead his men. "When I come in for role call, I expect to see both of my lieutenants ready to go for shift. Do I make myself clear?" Boden wasn't angry, he was fuming. Matt felt like a kid in trouble with their favourite teacher as he paced back and forth behind his bed, Matt standing there with his hands behind his back and his head hung low.

"Yes, absolutely Chief." His voice was low, he knew he was in trouble. Boden stopped pacing and looked over to his young lieutenant, taking him all in.

Moving from behind his desk, Boden came to stand in front of Matt, "Casey; what is going on with you?" This was not like Matt; Boden knew that, he had known him long enough to know when something was going on.

He could lie to Boden and say that he had slept in; he could lie and say that nothing was wrong; but in the back of his mind he could hear Gabby's voice, encouraging him to tell the Chief what was going on.

 _Gabby._

She had been his rock over the last almost four weeks and he was finding himself needing her once again. "Ah Chief…can I have a minute please?" Boden eyed him a little confused but nodded, watching as Matt made his way out of his office, only to return moments later with a confused looking Gabby by his side. Matt closed the door behind them, taking a seat on the couch, Gabby sitting by his side, realising what was going on.

"Ah…as you know, Hallie and I…we broke up about 6 months ago now." He rubbed his forehead, "Anyway, she is pregnant." It was like ripping off a Band-Aid, Matt just had to get it out, telling the chief without waiting or else he would chicken out.

Gabby reached for his hand, squeezing it tightly in comfort, something that wasn't lost on Boden, he knew they had been at odds with each other, so this was a nice surprise to see them getting along, caring about each other.

"She had been cheating on me, for a while it seemed. The baby…it isn't…" But Matt looked away, he couldn't finish his sentence, it hurt to much to say those words again, Gabby was the first and only person he had said those words to.

Boden nodded, dropping his head, he knew how much Matt had loved Hallie and he knew how much a family of his own meant to him, to know that this was happening to Matt, was heart breaking. "I'm sorry Chief. I really am. Being late, it won't happen again. I promise." Matt looked up towards Gabby, this time, showing her a really small smile, something he hoped she saw.

"I'm so sorry, Casey." Boden stood in front of him, waiting for Matt to stand as well, something he did instantly. Reaching out, Boden shook Matt's hand, resting the other one on his shoulder.

Moments later, Matt moved from the office with his head hung low, he was tired, he had a headache that was for sure but he couldn't think about that now, he had work to catch up. Boden watched Matt leave before looking down at Gabby who was watching Matt, "How is he really?" Boden wasn't stupid, Matt was a very private person, he wouldn't give too much away if he didn't haven to.

Gabby sighed, rising from the couch, "He is struggling, Chief. I'm doing my best but he is really hurting." Gabby hated seeing Matt that way, over the last four weeks, they had gotten closer, a mutual understanding of what was going on in each other's lives, an understanding of why they had both been acting the way they had. Gabby was starting to see the Matt that Shay had described; she was seeing him in a completely different way to what she had thought of him originally.

"Well I'm glad he has you then, Dawson. Look after him." With a quick nod, Gabby made her way out of Boden's office. She needed to _do_ something; not being able to actually help Matt was starting to get to her.

* * *

Gabby pressed her hands down harshly against the wound, she was trying to stop the bleeding, trying to stop the wound from getting worse. "Shay, come on! We gotta get in there." She wasn't sure how she ended up almost sitting on Mills chest, being wheeled into the emergency room of Lakeshore. Matt, Kelly and Boden all followed them inside, the rest of the fire fighters following behind, fear coming over them as they heard the panic in Gabby's voice. They knew things were very, very bad.

Nurses and doctors swarmed to their side, all of them talking over one another, trying to work out what was going on. "25 year old male, fell three stories, impaled on a rebar, pulse was strong on route, losing a lot of blood, in and out of consciousness, awake at the scene."

It had all happened too quickly, Matt and Mills had been checking over an old building, floor by floor they checked each room, clearing them as they went. On their way back down to the main floor, the creaking sound became overwhelming, panic had crossed both Casey and Mills face, both realising that they didn't have much time left, they needed to get out. Now.

Hitting the third level stairs, the creaking worsened, giving way under their weight, sending them both free falling to the basement below. _"Casey report!"_ Somewhere in the back of his head, Matt could hear the sound of Boden's voice, calling out to him. Rolling onto his side slowly, Matt looked around, pushing off his mask; Matt coughed loudly, "We are in the basement Chief, stairs collapsed in…"

That's when he realised that it was not just him in that basement, Mills was with him too. Quickly he looked around, Mills laying not far from him, still, his pass alarm sounding. "Chief, Mills is hurt, he ah…" Matt scrambled over to Mills side, looking over him, he coughed deeply again, the fall had hurt him as well, his side and back hurting, it was hard to breath but Mills was hurt, he had to focus on him now. "Chief, we need a medic down here now, Mills looks like he has been impaled by a rebar."

The steel metal rod was sticking out the side of his jacket, the fall landing him directly onto the rubble, the old steel factory a hot bed of possible trouble they hoped wouldn't cost them. But it had.

The next thing Matt knew, Kelly and Capp were making their way down to them, a stokes basket following. Bringing them both up to the waiting ambulance, Gabby and Shay rushing to their side, moving hurriedly over Mills.

All Matt could do was stand back while they loaded him into the back of the ambo, Gabby grabbing him by the arm and almost forcing him in as well, something about getting him checked out tumbling from her lips. Although he was numb, watching Mills the way he was, he was terrified.

And now he was standing in the middle of the waiting room, the rest of 51 sitting against the chairs, dirty and tired, silent and scared. But he couldn't sit; he had to stand, staring down the hallway to where they had taken Mills, Gabby and Shay emerging from that same hallway minutes later. Gabby covered in dry blood, Shay shaking her head as they took a seat, Kelly holding them both close as they rested their heads against his shoulders.

And so they waited, people coming and going as they sat stoically, the occasional sigh or cough or rustle as someone moved to a more comfortable position. It wasn't until Gabby raised her head from Kelly's shoulder, almost an hour later, that she noticed the blood that had been slowly dripping down Matt's arm, appearing subtly from underneath his jacket, tickling down his fingers before landing on the floor. "Matt…" Her voice was harsh, thick.

He looked up towards her; both their eyes brimming with unshed tears. She stood slowly, getting the attention of those around them, watching them closely, "Your arm…" That's when he noticed the blood as well, staring down at it he thought.

How long had he been bleeding? Why wasn't he in any pain? "I didn't even feel it…" He was unsure as to what had actually happened, remembering the fall but nothing else.

Slowly Gabby raised her hands, helping him remove his coat, he winced in pain, something had hurt his shoulder, something was making him bleed. Pulling his shirt away from his neck, Gabby sighed, his BA unit had cut into his neck and shoulder when he had landed in that basement, they hadn't even thought about getting him checked out, too worried about Mills.

"Come on, let's get you checked out. I want to make sure you don't have any rib damage." She tried to turn him away from the group, really wanting to make sure he was ok, but he protested, looking back towards where Mills was. "Hey, he is going to be a while and I want to make sure you are ok…" Something in her voice made him look down, seeing the pleading in her eyes but also the sternness, she was getting back into medic mode to make him understand that she was serious.

With one last glance down the hallway, Matt nodded, letting Gabby move them both away from the group, a warm hand on his back as they walked to the nurses station, asking for a doctor to come and check him out.

Matt sat nervously on the bed as he waited for his results, he had been checked over, scanned, poked and prodded and now he was just cold, sitting on that bed in just his turn out pants, he just wanted to put a shirt back on. Not only that, Gabby was sitting by his side, he had asked her to stay, needing the support in case something was wrong but now he was just nervous to have her there.

"OK, Matt…" The doctor walked back into the room, iPad in hand, smile on his face, " You've got a bit of bruising, so you will be a bit sore for a few days, I'm going to have you take off the next shift just to let your ribs rest but other than that, you are good to go."

Matt sighed deeply, happy to hear that he was going to be ok, but still worried about Mills. Glancing over to Gabby, he smiled when he saw how happy she was, reaching for her, he brought her to his side, hugging her tightly, "Told you I was going to be." He whispered in her ear, making her laugh against him.

"Yeah I know, but with Mills…I just got worried…" was her reply, Matt nodding, knowing exactly what she was talking about.

"Ah doc, any news on the other fire fighter that was brought in? Peter Mills?" Gabby pulled away from Matt as he asked, still staying in his arms though, needing to know he was ok. They looked back at the doctor, watching as he thought for a moment, he wasn't supposed to tell them anything, they weren't family but he also knew that fire fighters were family.

Sighing, he looked down at his iPad, "Looks like he is going to be ok. He lost a lot of blood but so far it looks like surgery went well. They are moving him to recovery soon. Let me just get you some meds for the pain and you can go out and be with the rest of your house." Matt and Gabby nodded, watching as he moved away, back out the door and down the hallway.

"Hey…you ok?" Matt noticed that Gabby was quiet for a bit, her face blank as she looked out the side window.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm alright…" hugging him tightly once more, she sighed, "I'm just really happy you're going to be ok. I was worried…" Scrunching up his face, Matt held her closely, he didn't like that she worried about him, she really shouldn't worry about him.

* * *

Matt smiled to himself as he watched Gabby move around the bar, her hips swaying to the music, laughing at something Shay had said behind her, Kelly reaching out to try and grab for her. He loved to hear her laugh and see her smile, she had become his closest friend, ever since that day with Hallie, she had been there for him, not that he really deserved it but she was there for him and he hoped that he was there for her. Last shift had been crazy, they were busy and then the accident with Mills, he was beyond happy that he was going to be ok, a celebratory drink was required.

"Can I get you another, Matt?" Gabby had made her way over to him, her smile widening when she saw him smiling back at her. She was glad to see him come into Molly's over and hour ago, she was glad to see him still there and she was glad to see that he was still sober, she just hoped that he stayed that way. Matt thought for a moment, he wasn't going to let what happened a couple of week ago happen again, he wasn't going to let her turn up at his home once again and find him passed out and living in filth.

He was better than that, she was making him want to be better than that and so he smiled and shook his head. He had only had three beers that night, nothing before he had come to Molly's and he was damn sure he wasn't going to have anything afterwards.

Gabby's eyes lit up when he shook his head, she hadn't expected him to say no, his past history showing that he had a thing for alcohol at the moment but something had clearly changed, something good. Leaning over the bar Gabby reached for his hand, holding it tightly, she smiled, "I'm proud of you Matt." Her smile glowing as he returned it, their hands held tightly together, their eyes locked, holding onto the feeling of each other's strength, something they would both need.

* * *

 **Thoughts? :D**


	6. Its Started With A Whisper

**I am SO sorry this has taken so long! I really cant make any excuses other than life and work. I am currently in Louisiana- WOO- so figured I should update lol.**

 **I hope this chapter makes up for the wait and all of its 7000 words lol anyone know the song that the title is from...what's the next line? heheh**

 **Please review! :D**

* * *

 **Chapter 6 – It Started With A Whisper**

"How are you feeling Pete?" Shay leaned over the side of the bed, giving him a light hug, watching him smile as everyone made their way into this hospital room, happy to see him up and awake.

Coughing slightly, Peter spoke, "I'm doing good. Glad to be alive really…" He looked around, his face falling a little when he noticed everyone was there except Matt.

"Don't worry, Casey is on his way in, he just had to stop and get something, he shouldn't be too far off…" Gabby touched his arm, she knew he wanted to thank Matt for saving his life, it would just have to wait a little longer. Matt had been so relieved when they knew Mills was going to be aright, he would be happy to see him now. Mills just nodded, moving still took whatever little energy he had so things were a little harder than usual.

As they all settled into the hospital, they all began to laugh and talk, happy to have their family back together and in one piece, but as they began to chat and laugh, they heard a commotion from outside in the hallway. At first they ignored it but the voices got louder, certain ones sticking out to the fire fighters.

Moving towards the door slowly, Gabby, Shay and Kelly looked out the window, finding Matt standing in the hallway, surrounded by nurses, he looked unsure of himself. The three moved from the room into the hallway, followed by the rest of the firehouse, their curiosity peaking.

" _What happened in none of you business."_

Matt's voice echoed as they came to his side, Gabby heading straight for Matt, the desire to be by his side too strong for her to say no to.

" _You're disgusting, how the hell could you so something like that?"_

One of the nurses spat back at him, blocking his way so he couldn't leave, stuck there getting abuse thrown at him. Gabby gasped, she knew what this was about and she hated that they woman had gone after him, clearly being told different information to what had actually happened.

Matt stayed silent as they nurses spoke, he was getting angry but he wouldn't let them get to him, he couldn't. "You're an asshole Matt, a real piece of work." Someone else yelled out, causing Kelly and Hermann to step forward to Matt's defence but that didn't seem to help, they only fuelled the yelling. "How could you do that her?"

Gabby couldn't believe that Matt hadn't said anything. The things that he had been called and the names that were used were inappropriate and uncalled for. It was clear that Matt wasn't going to fight for himself and so Gabby decided to do it for him. Standing by his side, she huffed, "You all have no idea what you are talking about! How about you all just back off!" This caused everyone to stop talking. The rest of the firehouse quietening down as it was clear that Gabby knew more of what was going on, the nurses eyeing off Gabby as though she would be their next target.

Gabby turned to Matt, shock on her face that he wasn't standing up for himself, pleading in her eyes for him to say something. "Matt please, you have to tell them!" Gabby was furious, what these people had said to Matt, it wasn't right and the fact that he wasn't saying anything back to them or defending himself, made it all even worse. He didn't deserve this abuse and he didn't deserve anyone thinking less of him.

Matt sighed, he knew he should set the record straight but he just didn't want to go into the messiness of it all. He didn't want them all to know, he just wanted to be able to move on with his life. He loved that Gabby was so worried about the situation, so worried about him but he didn't want to get into it with these people.

"Yeah come on Matt, tell us. Tell us how you walked out on Hallie when she told you she was pregnant. Abandoning your own child." One of the nurses scoffed again, she was disgusted with Matt. And one by one, each of them yelled out to Matt, beginning their abuse once again. The others from the firehouse tried to back Matt but it wasn't until one of them turned on Gabby did things change.

"You stand there with your whore while your ex girlfriend goes through this alone. You should be ashamed of yourself Gabriella."

And that was when Gabby snapped, she knew he didn't want them all to know, she had been backing him up by just trying to get them to leave him alone but this was enough, this had gone to far. None of this was Matt's fault, he shouldn't have been getting the abuse he was. "Matt just tell them! Tell them what really happened…" But when Matt didn't say anything, his head down, Gabby turned to the group of nurses. "She cheated on him. Hallie had been having an affair for the last 6 months of their relationship! The baby isn't Matt's!"

The silence in the room was deafening, each of the looking around, unsure of what to say or do, no one really knowing what was going on. Matt sighed, this was what he didn't want, he didn't want everyone to worry about him, he didn't want them feeing sorry for him. Rubbing his forehead, he looked down at Gabby, finding her hand resting on his back while the other was raised in the air in a stopped motion, he could feel the warmth through his shirt of her hand on his back.

The nurses stared Matt down, looking between Matt and Gabby, unsure of what to say. "Yeah I'm sure." Was the reply, a roll of the eyes from one of the nurses in front of them.

Behind Matt and Gabby, the rest of the firehouse, came to their side, they were standing up for their lieutenant even though they didn't actually know what was going on.

"It's true." Gabby tried again, looking up at Matt who looked down at her, a small smile telling her that it was alright, he wasn't upset that she had said something, and he could tell that she was worried that he would be upset with her. "Hallie had been cheating on him for 6 months, she is pregnant and it's not Matt's alright. He left and this has been killing him ever since. You haven't seen the pain he has been in all right. Maybe you should ask a HalHallHallie about Dr Mitchell!" At this point everyone was shocked. "I'm sorry Matt but you don't deserve any of this Matt. You're precious Hallie isn't the saint you all think she is."

Silence fell over them all, nurses glancing at each other and the fire fighters watching Matt, this was not what they expected to hear and not what they thought had happened with Hallie. Slowly Hermann reached out and touched Matt's shoulder, getting his attention, and causing him to turn around, his eyes skirting over everyone there, dropping his head in embarrassment. A more shocked looked on Shay and Severide's faces, both having no idea what had happened.

Clearing his throat, Matt ducked his head and moved from the group, needing some air but also needing to get away from the looks of sadness and pity he was getting. Behind him Gabby sighed, she was upset with herself that she had said it out loud, upset that she had done the one thing that he had asked her not to do. Sniffing deeply, she wiped away a tear, Hermann at her side, "It's alright kid. Maybe it's for the best…"

But this shocked Gabby, how could her telling everyone be for the best if it wasn't what Matt wanted, she never wanted to upset him. Glancing back at Hermann and the group she shook her head, following Matt out to the hallway, needing to talk to him, needing to apologise.

It wasn't hard to find him in the end, she had gotten to know him enough to know that when he was upset he liked quiet places. He liked being alone and that's where she found him, sitting in the far corner of what looked like a little courtyard, sun shining down the opening in the roof, the green grass brightening up the area. He looked so small, almost like the way he had when he had told her about Hallie and what had happened.

It broke her heart to see him like that, to know that she was the one who had upset him like that. Slowly she made her way to his side, sitting down quietly, her hands on her lap, not wanting to push things too far just yet. They sat in silence for what felt like forever, she could feel the anger coming off him, feel the pain and the disappointment.

What had she done?

"I'm sorry Matt…" It almost didn't need to be said, of course she was sorry, he knew that and she knew that but it still happened and now he had to deal with everyone knowing. When she didn't get a reply, she tried again, "I didn't meant to say it, really. I just…I couldn't stand to see them attacking you like that. You didn't deserve it, you did nothing wrong." But it didn't seem to help, Matt was just angry. At her? At himself? At Hallie? At everything? He honestly didn't know at that point but he did know he was angry.

She tried to reach for him, her hand twitching to touch his but he pulled away, he just really wanted to be alone. He didn't mean to upset Gabby, he didn't mean to hurt her, even if he was angry with her, he never wanted to hurt her.

But that's what he did when he pulled away from her touch, he could hear her heart breaking even more, but he just didn't have the energy to fix it. Suddenly next to him she stood, clearly she was not wanted there and she didn't want to force him to be around her if he didn't want her by his side. He barely heard the soft whisper of another apology before she rushed to the door, letting it slam behind her, missing the tear the that slipped down his cheek.

Matt didn't know how long he had sat in that courtyard for, but he needed the time alone, he needed the quiet and he needed the fresh air, in the end it honestly did him quite well. He was able to work out his feelings, he was angry with himself for getting into this situation, should he have just been honest from the beginning? Should he have just told everyone and gotten over it? Probably. He was angry with Hallie, there was days he would be angry with her and days that he wasn't, today he was but because of Gabby those days of anger were few and far between.

Oh Gabby.

He was angry with her as well, or at least he wanted to be. He really couldn't blame her for saying what she did, he was getting abused for something that wasn't even his fault so why shouldn't she have said something? He wasn't angry with her, not really, he was just hurt, hurt that this all still affected him, that it was all still affecting him.

She had been the only one by his side when he needed it, she had pulled him from the bottom of a bottle and he would forever be grateful to her for that he just hoped she knew that. Sighing deeply he stood, he really needed to go and talk to her but he also needed to talk to the firehouse, they – his family – deserved an explanation, they had all been through so much over the years and this was something he should have confided in them about.

But he wasn't going to do that at the hospital, he needed some time to rest, he had gotten tired all of a sudden, all the emotions running through him had taken their toll. Slipping out of the courtyard, he was able to make it past the nurse's station and the waiting room without being seen, before heading straight home, he couldn't face them all, not just yet.

* * *

Everyone had already made it into shift a few days later, all still a little hushed from the events of the last few days, Mils' being in hospital, finding out about Matt and Hallie's break up, it was hurting them all. Matt made it just in time for role call, tucking in the back of his shirt as he stood against the wall. He really had honestly just slept in, he hadn't found the courage to face his family but he had to and he was going to do it today.

"Alright everyone, first the good news," Boden moved into the room followed by two people, both were not recognised by anyone in the firehouse. "I heard from the hospital last night, Mills is going to be released at the end of the week and should be back on shift at the end of the month, he has been given the time off to heal." Everyone clapped so happy to know that he was going to be ok and be back on shift in just over 3 weeks.

"And on that, I would like to introduce Nick Palmer who will be taking over his position on Truck until he is back on shift," Boden looked over to Matt who just nodded, "And this is Annie Clink, she is filling in for Dawson today who has requested a personal day." This caught Matt's attention, he hadn't noticed she wasn't there, surprisingly considering he had tried to call and text her over the last few days and hadn't heard back at all.

Shay looked over at Matt who just looked lost, obviously he didn't know where she was and then she looked to Kelly who just looked sad, a look she hadn't seen on his face before. "So please, make them both feel welcome. Have a good day all."

But Matt stopped them as most of the stood, he needed to do this, "Ah can I have a minute?" Slowly they all sat back down, turning to face him. Swallowing deeply, he looked around the room, now that he was standing there he wasn't too sure about what to say and without Gabby there to back him up he didn't know where to start. Looking over at Boden, who just nodded, Matt began.

"First off I want to say sorry for what happened at the hospital the other day, it wasn't appropriate and it shouldn't have happened. However, everything that Gabby said was true." There was a low murmur in the group, you only believe so much until you hear it from the person it's about. "Hallie and I broke up because she had been cheating on me with a doctor from Lakeshore. She's about 6 months pregnant now and the baby isn't mine."

That was harder than he thought it would be, all those eyes staring back at him, the sadness and pity back. "I ah…I'm sorry that I never said anything to you all but I just didn't want to make a big deal about it, I guess I never wanted you all to feel sorry for me or something like that." He shrugged, he hated being emotional but this was his family.

Everyone sat quietly for a moment before Herrman stood, making his way to Matt's side, reaching out and pulling him in for a tight hug. Herrman was the father of this family and he hated seeing Matt so hurt. "It's ok kid, you have us all." He pulled away from Matt, smiling gently, he wanted to be there for his lieutenant.

"Thanks, Herrman." Matt placed his hand on his shoulder, looking over at the group who just nodded, agreeing with Herrman. "Thanks guys."

It wasn't too long before everyone had split up, each moving to their own areas, Nick and Annie starting to talk to some of the others in the firehouse, Severide and Matt finding themselves in their offices, finishing up paperwork.

Matt glanced down at his phone, desperate to hear from Gabby but he hadn't yet and it was starting to upset him. Reaching for his phone, he pulled up her profile, her facing staring up at him, making him smile widely. They had been out at Navy Pier together one day, enjoying the sun and the day off, they had somehow gotten to taking photos of each other, Matt being able to snap one of her with her hair curled down her face, her Aviators on her face and her tongue sticking out. She just looked too cute, also something he had told her at the time. Instantly that had become his contact photo for her, he loved it. His finger hovered over the call button, debating on if he could deal with another rejected call from her.

"I wouldn't bother, she won't answer." Matt looked to find Severide leaning against his door, arms crossed over his chest. He could read Matt so well; he knew exactly what he wanted to do.

Matt groaned as he placed his phone back down, clearly Severide knew something that Matt didn't and he didn't like that but he understood, he knew that Kelly and Gabby had been close friends longer than he and Gabby but he hated not knowing what was happening with her. "Can you at least tell me if she is ok? I wanted to apologise for how I treated her the other day at the hospital." Matt rubbed his forehead, still upset with himself that he had spoken to her the way he had.

But Kelly shook his head, "She is alright. Yes she was a little upset about that but she understands she upset you. But that isn't why she isn't answering your calls. I can't tell you more than that but just believe me when I say that she is alright."

Matt nodded again, he would take what he could get from Kelly, but he also knew Kelly wouldn't give up much more than that and so he turned back towards his desk, intent on getting some work done but turned back suddenly, opening his mouth but Kelly smiled, "I will tell her you are worried and sorry." He laughed, he really did know Matt well.

Nodding a thank you Matt turned back to his work, hoping that doing something would help to get his mind off of Gabby.

* * *

Matt smiled as Gabby took the seat next to him at the bar, feeling her warmth against his arm as she leaned into him, greeting him with a bright smile that she subconsciously only saved for him. "Hope you haven't been at it all night…" She looked over at him, her smile fading a little as she looked down at the beer in his hand, Matt smiling and shaking his head as he downed another sip of the beer.

Gabby worried about him, about his drinking and about how he was taking the idea of Hallie having a baby with someone else. She was concerned for him, always checking in on him, texting or calling to make sure he was doing alright.

And he was. At least now, since his conversation with her at the back of the firehouse, he had spent another couple of weeks drinking pretty hard. After seeing Hallie, seeing her pregnant, had hit him hard, he had never expected to see her again or at least never expected to her to turn up at the firehouse looking for him. And then to have the confrontation he had at the hospital with the nurses, it had hit him again.

He had spent most nights at Molly's, earning concerning looks from the rest of the firehouse, but mostly from Gabby, she was the only who knew just how much he had been hurting, the only one who could see what it was doing to him. He would go to bed drunk, wake up hung over and do it all again the next night.

That was until she sat by his side that night, sitting by him in the furthest booth before leaning over and taking his beer from him, she hadn't been able to see him properly when he was getting drinks but he had seen Herrman come to his side a few times throughout the night, she had hoped he wasn't bringing him beers. She had downed what was left, which wasn't much in the end smirking at the shocked look on his face as she placed the now empty glass in front of him.

"Stop doing this to yourself Matt…please…" This was when she placed her hand against his, squeezing his fingers gently. She was begging him to stop drinking like he had been, she was worried about him and that's when he realised that that was what he needed, he had needed someone by his side that wasn't going to let him continue, that was going to tell him like it was and not worry about upsetting him. He needed his ass kicked and that's what Gabby was doing.

And so as they sat in that booth together, he shook his head, smiling, "Nah, this has been my only one tonight." Gabby looked up at him from under her lashes, part of her clearly not believing him, "Hey, I promise ok…" He _needed_ her to believe him.

"Hey um...I'm sorry for the other day, I shouldn't have told them and-" But Matt cut Gabby off before she could say anymore, she shouldn't have been apologising for what happened, he should have been apologising for what he did afterwards.

Matt put his hand up, stopped her from talking, before placing it down on her shoulder, "No, don't it should be me who apologies, I shouldn't have reacted to you the way I had after." Gabby just nodded, she was still upset but she also knew there was no reason to push it if he wouldn't let her now.

As close as they had gotten over the last month, always talking about how Matt was doing and what had happened, they had never spoken about what Gabby had told him. They never talked about the abusive relationship she had been in or how she was coping, he never mentioned how sorry he was or how he couldn't believe that someone had hurt her the way her ex had.

But that didn't mean he didn't want to. He wanted to talk to her about it, wanted to hold her close as she told him the horrors she had faced, wanted to hold her close as she cried from the pain of those memories, wanted to hold her close as she looked up at him and thanked him like she had when she had told him the first time.

He just wanted to hold her close.

He hated that realisation, the realisation that he was starting to have feelings for this hot head, this sassy, grumpy, tough as nails, beautiful, and amazing girl. He could feel those feelings growing the more time he spent with her and he wouldn't have it any other way right now. If Matt was honest with himself, he was falling for her, hard and fast.

"Where have you been?" He had noticed that she hadn't been around Molly's like she had usually been, plus she'd had a shift off earlier in the week and she had turned up late to a shift after that as well. She had been a little distant lately, staring into space, lost in her own thoughts and just hard to get a hold of. He was worried about her.

Gabby thought for a moment, there was so much going on in her mind that she didn't really know where to start to explain it all to him. She could see the worry in his eyes, she also knew that he had been calling and texting her recently and she had just not replied or answered. She felt bad, she really did, she wanted to open up to him about everything but it was just _hard._

She wanted to tell him everything, to tell him exactly what had happened in her past relationship but it scared her. She was scared of how he would react, scared of how he would look at her and scared of what he might think. She found herself worrying more and more about what Matt thought recently. She had starting spending a little more time in the bathroom getting ready before heading to shift, picking out particular clothing to wear when she knew he would be around.

She was starting to fall for him and that terrified her.

But he had always been there for her, over the last few months, he hadn't pulled away form her, he was looking out for her, trying to make her laugh and smile, just wanting to be close to her and she loved it.

Gabby never thought that Matthew Casey would become her best and closest friend in such a short time or at all…considering how they had been towards each other since meeting but not, she couldn't image her life without him.

"Hey you ok?"

Gabby blinked back at matt, realising he had been watching her with a raised eyebrow and concern written on his face. He had asked her a question and she had yet to answer it, why hadn't she answered the question yet? "Oh ah...yeah I'm good. I had a couple of things I had to do before heading over." She shrugged, really not wanting to make a big deal about it all but it was clear that Matt didn't believe her, what could she have had to do at almost midnight?

But Matt nodded anyway, he knew she would tell him when she was ready, she usually did, holding back for a short period of time before she sought him out, usually spending time with him in his office or just hanging out together. They both sought each other out constantly, needing each other.

Gabby just leaned into his side, resting her head on his shoulder, something she did when there was something bothering her, something he had learned about her pretty quickly. And he would let her, revealing in the knowledge that she would seek him out for comfort. But against him tonight, she sighed, something really was bothering her, something that he could tell she was trying to tell him.

"Hey...I ah…I want to show you something..." Gabby lifted her head from his shoulder, looking up at him with, hope in her eyes, hope that he would go with her, hope that what she was about to show him wouldn't change his thoughts about her. She stood from the seat, holding out her hand to him, something he took gladly.

Matt looked up at her, smiling, "Yeah of course." He threw some money on the table top and stood, never letting go of her hand before leading her outside. He missed the smirk that Hermann sent their way as they left together.

Outside Gabby let out a sigh, a puff of air coming from her lips as the cold air surrounded them, she was so sure about showing him this but now that they were outside, she had lost that confidence. Silently they made their way to Gabby's car, not knowing where she wanted to go it was obvious that she would be taking them there, Matt never let go of her hand, he was holding onto her for as long as she would let him.

Sitting in the car Matt sighed, he could see Gabby's hand rubbing against the steering wheel, she was nervous, worried. All the things that Matt wished she wasn't. Slowly he reached out and placed his hand against hers, squeezing it tightly, not saying anything just giving her some time.

That was 15 minutes ago, 15 minutes of sitting in silence, Matt not knowing where they were going, he laughed, "Gabby where the hell are you taking me?" But she said nothing, just kept driving for another few minutes, staring at the rode, still unsure of what to actually tell him.

After a few moments had passed, Gabby turned into a set of gates, darkness surrounding them, as she pulled into the parking lot, Matt swallowing deeply, now very nervous. He got out of the car slowly, looking around the dark area, unsure of what was going on. "Gabby?" He turned around to her, finding her standing by his side suddenly. "You're not going to kill me, are you?"

He listened to her laugh, it was light and happy, ironic considering they were now walking up the path of a cemetery. He stopped to look around, not realising that she had just continued without him, "Gabs this isn't funny..." Matt jogged up by her side, figuring the best place for him would be next to her, so he didn't get lost. Rubbing his hands together, Matt pushed them into his pockets as they rounded the corner, stopping at a small plaque on the grass.

Slowly she knelt down, her hand reaching out in front of her before gently touching the iron lettering. Matt stood behind her, listening as she started to speak, "He was always controlling, I think I always knew he was always like that but I was too strong willed to really be controlled by him..." She hadn't turned around to face him, choosing just to talk into the open air.

"I found out I was pregnant about a year into the relationship and it was amazing. He was kind and gentle, but still there was always something about him, the things he would do or say, it was always there." This time she did turn to face him, Matt not haven't said anything since she started talking, she needed to know he was still there.

Slowly Matt came to her side, kneeling against the grass along side her, showing her that he was going to be by her side no matter what. "When I was 7 months, I just knew something was wrong, I could feel it. I could feel that the baby wasn't moving and I could just tell something was wrong. At the hospital they told me that the umbilical cord had wrapped around my baby's neck and she had died." Matt swallowed deeply those words, shaking his head, why had something like that happened to her?

Gabby rubbed her nose with the back of her hand, the cold air and the sadness coming over her. "I cried, I screamed, I fought but in the end, I delivered my baby girl, stillborn." No matter how many times she ran over these memories in her head, it still hurt like it did when it had happened. "Lilly, my Lilly...I held her for so long, the nurses had to force me to give her up, promising me that my boyfriend was there, that he would be in as soon as possible."

She laughed.

Gabby actually laughed at what she was saying. "He wasn't there, he hadn't even come to the hospital when he was told I was there. He was out drinking." Carefully, Gabby leaned against Matt's shoulder; the warmth he was giving off was what she needed, he still hadn't said anything and that bothered her a little but she needed to get the rest of this out.

"That's when it turned. After I lost the baby, he turned. His control turned into verbal abuse, he would come home drunk almost every night, come see me at work to make sure I wasn't screwing around." She sighed, wrapping her arms around herself, she could feel Matt lean into her, tensing a little when she spoke. "One night he came home, I was at the table looking at the pictures of the sonograms that I had...he hit me."

Gabby turned her head away from Matt, ashamed of what had happened, what she had let happen. "It got worse, each night would be the same, bruises and arguments and things being thrown at me." She shook her head, "I became a person I didn't recognise."

Matt couldn't stop himself, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, bringing her into him, onto his lap as she wrapped her arms around his neck, he placed a kiss to her forehead, feeling her sigh against him. "I remember calling Kelly one night. We had become really good friends through Shay and so after he..." She swallowed, "...After Jason came home with some friends and...forced me..." Her voice trailed off, it was still so hard to talk about it.

But Matt was there, holding her up, giving her strength, the fact that he had pulled her close to him meant more to her than anything. "I called Kelly and I just remember crying. He picked me up and took me to his place. And I spent the next two weeks living in his spare room, crying most nights, holding onto him for dear life when I just couldn't hold on anymore."

This was when she looked up at Matt, tears in both their eyes. "Kelly saved my life, I owe him everything..." Gabby sighed as she wrapped her arm around his waist, needing to be close to him. "I promised myself that I would never let myself get into that situation ever again, I would never feel as scared as I did when I was with Jason." Gabby felt Matt nod against her, his lips touching her head once more, holding her tightly as he digested the information he had been given.

"She would have been 5 during the week, the day I had off work was her birthday..." and that's all that was needed for Matt to realise why she had been so off the past week. Gabby clung to him tightly as she let her emotions take over, it had been a long time since she had felt herself cry, let alone cry In front of someone, but she needed it and she needed Matt.

Holding her tightly, Matt rocked her, whispering sweet words into her ear as her fingers tangled in his shirt, she was now holding onto him for dear life.

* * *

The drive back to Matt's apartment was quiet, mostly because Gabby had fallen asleep, Matt deciding that she was too tired to drive and so he had jumped in the drivers side, letting Gabby close her eyes. He smiled as he looked over at her, her arm resting against the window, fist holding her head up. She was beautiful.

It was much later than he thought by the time he pulled up outside his home, they had spent a few hours just sitting on the grass, Gabby holding onto him, he just holding her, he wanted to take away her sadness, take way her pain from the memories of what she had been through.

When she did speak, her voice was soft, light; she talked about how excited she was to become a mother and all the plans she had in place. He never dared ask her questions though, choosing to let her work through her grief in her own way, it was clear that she had been holding onto a lot of this pain for a long time.

He also reminded himself to thank Kelly next time he saw him, thankful that he looked after her when she had needed it most, however he wasn't even sure Shay knew what had happened.

Killing the engine, Matt thought about waking her up, thinking that she needed to drive home but he didn't want her to leave, he didn't want her to drive home being so tired. Slowly he leaned over, brushing his hand against her cheek, watching as she turned into the touch, sighing against him. "Hey Gabs, you wanna wake up or wanna crash in my spare room?"

He hoped that she would say she wanted to stay, hoped that she would willingly want to be by his side tonight. Slowly she opened her eyes, blinking up at him before she realised where she was.

Gabby thought for a minute, she was really tired, however she really shouldn't have been enjoying his touch, she really shouldn't be thinking about kissing him as he looked down at her, she really shouldn't drive home and she really shouldn't be wanting to take him up on his offer for crashing at his place.

Sitting up a little she sighed, she really had had enough of not taking her chances when she got them. She knew he was just being polite and caring, worried about her driving home when she was so tired but his hand was still against her cheek, his fingers a light pressure that was driving her crazy.

And just like that, she was out of the car, following him up the steps and into his apartment. The spare bedroom sounded good, the spare bedroom in Matt's apartment sounded good, spending the night with Matt sound good.

His apartment was nice, spacious and very Matt. He had pictures of his niece Violet everywhere, photos of his sister and of the members of 51, and it smelled of Matt. A distinct smell she had grown to love, heavy and strong, she could only imagine what his bed smelled like.

Oh that thought woke her up, making her blush deeply, thankful that Matt's back was to her, dropping his keys in the bowl. "I can get you something to sleep in if you want..." He had turned to her now, smiling lightly, she wanted to nod but something stopped her, she really didn't want to sleep.

"Actually I'm kinda wired now that I'm awake," she watched as his smile fall, he thought she had changed her mind, thought that she was going to drive home. "Is it ok if I just relax on the couch for a bit? I won't make too much noise..."

Matt sighed, she wasn't leaving; he really didn't want her to leave, "Nah it's ok, we can watch something if you want…" He looked over at her but noticed that she was now staring at his balcony, a small smile on her face. Moving closer to her side, he spoke quietly, "You wanna go outside?" Matt motioned with his head towards the side door, watching her nod quickly.

"No one has been here before. After Hallie and I broke up I moved in here and just kind of made it my own, you know? It's the only real place I've had to myself, after being with Hallie for so long, I needed something of my own." Matt shrugged as he ran his hands over the sidewall, leading Gabby out onto the balcony. He knew she had been at his apartment once before, but this was different, having her there now was something entirely different. "It has an amazing view though..."

Sliding open the balcony door, Gabby stepped out and looked over the horizon, her mouth opening a little as it shined, the street lights causing a soft glow to cover the city. "Matt this is amazing." She couldn't believe the view he had, this was something that you didn't see in Chicago much but it was beautiful.

By the far side of the balcony there was a small set up, a wooden swinging chair with a table by the side, a large plant sitting on the top. It was clear that it was something Matt had made use of, the pillows on the swinging chair looked worn in. Resting her arms against the railing of the balcony, Gabby sighed, sucking in as much air as possible, feeling Matt come by her side, silence taking over them both.

The sun was starting to rise.

Matt glanced down at Gabby by his side, her arms resting against the railing of his balcony, the soft glow of the sun starting to rise over the buildings warming her face, a smile planted on her lips. She seemed content considering the night they'd had, she seemed at peace. He watched as she sighed deeply, her lips moving but he couldn't understand what she had said. Slowly he reached out to touch her cheek, getting her attention, "What did you say?"

Gabby's eyes opened slowly, enjoying the warmth of the sun but also the feeling of his hand against her cheek. She had almost forgotten that he was standing there, too content to be worried about anything at all. She blinked for a moment, before tilting her head towards Matt, her eyes flickering down ever so quickly to his lips before back up to his eyes.

Matt watched as she moved, he could have sworn he saw her glance at his lips, or maybe he was just so desperate to kiss her that he wished she had glanced down at his lips. He swallowed deeply; his stomach was heavy as he looked down at her, Gabby watching what he would do. Slowly Matt reached out and touched her cheek, feeling her turn into his touch, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment.

And in that moment Matt leaned down, he needed to know what her lips felt like, he wanted to know what she felt like in his arms. As his lips touched her, Matt felt her gasp against him, shocked that he was taking that step but part of her glad that he had.

There was so much she wanted to do when he kissed her, she wanted to wrap her arms around his neck, she wanted to pull him close to her but she couldn't, she was melting into the kiss so easily that she couldn't think about anything but his lips on hers. All she could do was bring her hands to his chest, allowing him to hold her close to him, his arms wrapped around her waist as his lips moved against hers, taking her all in.

As they stood on Matt's balcony, the sun rose over them, Matt held Gabby close as they continued to kiss. They were finally in each other's arms.

 _And that's when I kissed her._

* * *

Was it worth the wait? Please let me know :D


	7. Safe and Sound

**Hey guys, sorry it's taken so long for me to post this! I was in the states for 5 weeks and it was crazy! I was in Chicago and got a photo with Joe and Monica and from what I saw filming, I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEW SEASON!**

 **Please let me know what you think, I live off your reviews!**

 **Thank you to those who had bugged me for this, it gave me the kick up the ass I needed!**

* * *

 **Chapter 7 – Safe and Sound**

Gabby sighed as she rubbed her face against the warmth of the person under her, it had felt so good to be asleep, the felt safe and comfortable…something she hadn't felt in a very long time. Slowly she opened her eyes and found that she was looking down at Matthew Casey, his blonde hair a mess, his face peaceful and calm, it looked _cute_. There wasn't many times she would call Matt cute but this was one of those times. Mostly she would call him hot or sexy or just handsome but cute didn't usually come into play. Until she was able to see him sleeping, his arms wrapped tightly around her, holding her to his chest.

Glancing at the time, it shocked Gabby, it was after 2pm, granted they had fallen asleep after sunrise, she hadn't expected to sleep that long and been so comfortable. Sitting up slowly as not to wake Matt, she looked around. She had taken note of some of the things in his home the morning she had gotten there but now that he wasn't so close to her that she couldn't thing straight, she took the chance to look around her, taking in the pictures and the furniture.

As she moved from the couch through the living room, Gabby smiled at the photo on the wall, it was of Matt, he looked a little younger and he was holding a younger child, someone who must have been a cousin or niece, although she didn't really know much about his family, she couldn't say for sure who it was. He looked so happy looking down at the child, she had to be no more than about 12 months old and fast asleep.

It made her sad, thinking that he had wanted this all his life, a baby of his own, a family of his own and to know that it was taken away from him but the woman he had loved the most. But at the same time it made her sad to know that she had been so close to having this as well, having a baby girl of her own and to have had that taken away from her as well, she almost didn't know what was worse, being betrayed by the woman you love and losing the family you thought you had or losing the baby you knew you would have.

Picking up the smaller picture on the mantel she smiled, it was of Matt and Kelly and they were both holding a young child on their backs, giant smiles on their faces, they looked to be giving piggy back rides at the firehouse, it seemed as though they knew the kids to. He just looked so happy around kids.

But that was when she noticed that there were no pictures of his family, nothing of his mother or father or a possible brother or sister, she wondered what his family was like, did he have any other brothers or sisters? Was Violet his only niece? What were his parents like? Gabby was really close with her family so it always made her wonder about other's family. She wanted to know more about his family, she wanted to know more about _him_.

Taking a step further towards the kitchen, Gabby flicked through some of the papers that were there, she knew she was snooping but part of her didn't care, she was curious to know as much about him as possible. Suddenly she found a letter, it was addressed to him, scribbled handwriting…a doctors hand writing…it was addressed from Lakeshore but the note on the back confused her. It wasn't a doctor's letter, it was a letter from a doctor.

 _Matt, please don't throw this out…_

It was from Hallie, it was still sealed but it was from Hallie. Gabby knew Matt wanted nothing to do with her but something hit her, she wanted to be with him, she wanted a relationship and she wanted everything with him but it scared her. He had been in a relationship in the past that failed, she had clearly tried so hard to make it work but it hadn't and she was sure he was now looking for someone who was solid, someone who was stable in their own life that he could imagine starting a family with them.

Gabby was no that person.

Yes she was stable but she was still so haunted by what had happened to her that she didn't know if she would ever be able to not have those memories inside her mind, the fear of seeing Jason again one day, the fear of if she were ever to become pregnant again that she wouldn't just lose that baby as well. Could she really be what Matt wanted? What Matt deserved?

Panicking a little bit, Gabby grabbed her shoes and her bag before heading for the door. She knew he would probably be angry with her for leaving like this but she needed to get out of there, she need to take a step away from the man she knew she was falling in love with. Letting the door close gently behind her, Gabby went to the one place she knew she could.

* * *

Matt groaned as he rubbed his hand over his face. His neck was sore and his back was stiff, clearly he had fallen asleep on the couch _again_ last night. He rubbed his eyes again, slowly opening them to check the time, a little shocked at the harshness of the light around him.

It was well after 3pm when he had woken up, how the hell had he slept that long? What the hell did he do last night and how much did he drink?

Last night…

Last night he had gotten to kiss Gabby, he had gotten to hold her in his arms as she held onto him; he had gotten to lay with her on this couch as they fell asleep. Smiling he remembered what it felt like to have her in his arms, what it felt like to have her lips against his. He was desperate to kiss her again, he _wanted_ her, now that he had a taste he wanted more.

Sitting up he looked around, listening for her when he noticed she was no longer in his arms, "Gabs?" He called out, unsure of where she had gone. Scrunching up his face, he looked around towards the bathroom; maybe she was in there. Heading over to the closed door, he knocked, "Gabby are you in there?" But the door opened against his fist.

He was even more confused than ever, they had talked for a few hours that morning as they lay on the couch against each other, laughing and joking, his hand brushing against her face as she kissed his palm, he didn't know why she wouldn't be there anymore, what had he done to make her leave without telling him?

Maybe she had somewhere to be? Maybe she had gotten a call? Maybe it really had nothing to do with him but that thought still didn't make him feel better, he was hoping she would be there when he woke up. Deciding it was best that he didn't think about it too much now, he headed towards his bedroom, he needed to relax and after last night, having her in his arms all night, he needed a _cold_ shower.

It was about twenty minutes after that Matt had gotten out of the shower that he had check his phone, hoping that maybe there would be something from Gabby, something telling him she where she was or why she had left but his phone was blank, there were no texts, missed calls or even emails. Huffing, he threw his phone back onto his bed, he needed to do something to get Gabby out of his head for as long as possible or else he would be the one to call or text her.

Reaching for his running shoes, Matt decided a run would be something good, it would clear his head, it would make him focus on his breathing and now the smell of Gabby he seemed to not be able to clean off his skin. Closing the door behind him, Matt slipped in his headphone of his iPod and began to run.

* * *

"Seriously Kelly, this isn't funny! Why are you laughing?" Gabby cried as Kelly lay back against his bed, laughter pouring from his lips, his shoulders and stomach bouncing in hysteria. When Gabby had rushed over to see him that afternoon, she had never expected him to _laugh_ at her and it wasn't just laughter, he was hysterical, he couldn't even talk he was laughing so much.

Huffing deeply, Gabby grabbed the closest thing to her, happen to just be a pillow, but she threw it at him, hitting him square in the face. "Fuck you Kelly!" She cried again, heading for his bedroom door, she had to get away from him before she blew up completely. She had gone to him for help, gone to him because she trusted him and now he was laughing at her.

"Wait!" _laughter,_ "Gabs wait!" _laughter._ Eventually Kelly caught up with Gabby before she could make it to the front door, his hand outstretched for her, stopping her from moving. "I'm sorry ok. I'm _sorry!"_ he really was sorry for laughing at her but it was just too funny. Slowly Gabby turned around to look at him, a scowl on her face, she was not happy at all right now. "Come on, please come and sit down…I promise I won't laugh at you…" he raised his eye brow as he looked down at her, trying to get her to understand that he was being serious.

Finally Gabby nodded, following Kelly to the couch. "So tell me why you are freaking out that you and Casey kissed?"

 _There was a sharp knock on Kelly's door at about 2.30pm, confusing him because he hadn't been expecting anyone and most people would text him to see if he was home before just coming over. Following two more really sharp knocks, Kelly swung open his door, Gabby pushing past him, not even bothering to wait for him to let her in._

 _Looking from her to the open door and then back to her, Kelly closed it slowly, turning to find her pacing, words falling from her lips, but he couldn't understand them as they were in Spanish. He had seen Gabby like this a couple of times before, mostly when Antonio would piss her off and there was one way that he would be able to help her._

 _Taking her by the hand, Kelly led her towards his bedroom, Shay was somewhere in the house and he didn't want her to overhear what was upsetting Gabby, mostly because he had no idea what it was and he didn't know if Gabby wanted anyone else to know. Closing his bedroom door, Kelly sat against the side of his bed and watched as she paced some more, more words falling from her lips._

" _Gabby…" he tried to get her attention but got nothing, "Gabby!" He tried again but still nothing. "HEY GABBY!" he called out, this stopped her in her tracks, Gabby looked over at him, blinking a few times._

 _It was almost as though her brain was clicking over from Spanish to English in that moment, when she spoke, freaked out more like it. "Kelly I screwed up, seriously screwed up…" This was when she started pacing again, "I mean, it's not like I didn't want it to happen but it shouldn't have happened. It_ really _shouldn't have happened. What happens now? How do I work this out?"_

 _It was Kelly's silence that caught Gabby's attention, he was watching her with a really confused look on his face, he had no idea what she was talking about. "I kissed Matt!" she all but screamed._

 _Kelly's face was stoic for a moment before a bright smile came to his face, laughter falling from his lips, echoing through the small room before he fell back against the bed, his hands covering his face, laughter still sounding._

"Alright Gabs, talk to me…" Gabby hadn't said anything as they sat on the couch; she was gathering her thoughts, working out what to say to him.

Scrunching her hands in her lap, she sighed, "Kelly what if I'm not good enough? What if he works out I'm not what he wants?" The hysteria from her voice was gone now and it had been replaced by a soft, fear, a very unsure of herself tone of voice, something that Kelly had only heard after she had been told she had miscarried.

Sighed he leaned forward, "Trust me when I tell you that you are more than good enough for him Gabby. He needs you in his life. Tell me what happened…" He wanted to make her tell him exactly what had happened that morning with the kiss, hoping it would be enough for her to realise that what she was thinking was completely crap. Kelly knew Matt loved Gabby; he had wanted nothing more than to be with her.

"Well, I took him to see Lilly, told him exactly what happened." That shocked Kelly, she hadn't told anyone about Lilly but Matt was different to everyone else. "Anyway, we went back to his place, I must have fallen asleep in the car so he said I could crash at his place. We were outside on the balcony and he kissed me and I kissed him back. We then spent the next few hours on the couch talking and laughing and then we fell asleep."

She just wanted to get it out the way, she was embarrassed to tell him what had happened but Kelly smiled, "Oh Gabs, he kissed you. It has been something he has wanted to do for a long time now. Matt doesn't care about your past, he only will see a future…" Gabby knew he was right, Matt had kissed her, she hadn't kissed him first but she still worried. Pulling her into a hug he held her close.

Kelly understood why she worried, she had been through a lot in the last few years and he knew she still worried about Jason coming back, considering she hadn't ever known what had happened to him but she also worried about herself, Gabby still didn't trust herself in relationships, she didn't believe in herself enough, not that you could tell if you looked at her though. Gabriella Dawson was a bad ass, who stood up for herself and didn't take shit from anyone…but this was a side of herself that she hid away, she didn't like people knowing what was underneath.

"Talk to him Gabby, let him know how you are feeling…"

Gabby pulled away, a little shy now, "But I left…he was still asleep on that couch and I just left!"

Now she was freaking out again, what if he was angry with her? What if he now didn't want anything to do with her? What if he regretted kissing her? What if – "Hey stop with the 'what ifs'. Casey will understand if you just go and talk to him. Trust me." Gabby nodded, her hands were shaking with the emotions that were running through her at the moment, she was happy and nervous and scared but having Kelly around helped.

"Ok. Alright. Yeah I will. I will call him later…or maybe I should talk to him on shift? What do you think?" Kelly smiled again, he loved seeing Gabby so freaked out about Matt, it meant she really cared about him.

"Go and talk to him on shift tomorrow." Nodding, Gabby sighed, she had to talk to him, she had to explain everything.

* * *

"Who the hell do you think you are huh?" Kelly stormed into Matt's office the next day on shift, Matt had hidden himself away from the rest of the firehouse when he had walked in. Ambo had been called out even before roll call and so Gabby wasn't around, Matt needing to keep himself busy so he wasn't looking like he was waiting for her.

Looking up suddenly Matt stood, really concerned as to what Kelly was talking about, he wondered what he could have done to piss his best friend off so much. "Sev, I don't…what?" his hands were raised in defence.

With a moment of silence from Kelly, a bright smile broke out on his face, shock coming to Matt's. "Gabby came to see me yesterday…she told me everything…" He laughed when Matt blew out a deep breath of air, he was not laughing, that was not funny.

"Jesus Christ Severide!" Lowering his hands, Matt placed them on his hips, swallowing down the fear that had built up suddenly. "What the hell is wrong with _you_?" He really hated Kelly right now.

Moving to Matt's bed he sat down, watching Matt sit slowly at his desk once more, "Sorry man, couldn't resist…so you and Dawson huh?"

Matt rolled his eyes, Kelly was like a school girl needing gossip. "Yes I kissed her and no I don't think anything will come from it, she left before I woke up the yesterday morning…" He looked away, a little sad that he hadn't heard from her at all but didn't want to be pushy so he hadn't contacted her at all either.

"Come on man! She came over freaking out yesterday afternoon, she's gonna come and talk to you and trust me you are going to want to listen to what she has to say." Standing suddenly, Kelly moved towards the door, "Give her some time Casey, you know what happened to her with her ex and her baby. Just give her time."

As Kelly went to leave Matt stood suddenly, "Hey Sev…thanks for everything you did for her then. I can only imagine how devastating it would have been…" Kelly nodded, he didn't like to think about the night he held Gabby as she cried herself to sleep in that hospital after giving back her baby or the nights that followed when she had come to stay with him, the bruising fading but the pain still evident on her face.

Sitting back down at his desk, Matt sighed, maybe he should have texted her but after what Kelly had said, maybe it was a good thing that he let her do things as she wanted, let her set the pace…if there was going to be a pace to set. Settling into his report he had left from the shift before, Matt tried to focus on that and not wonder when Gabby was going to come and talk to him.

* * *

Ambo had stopped for breakfast, neither Gabby nor Shay had gotten a chance to eat anything that morning before being called away to a call and so they had both decided that a short stop was needed. But Gabby hadn't been focussing on much after they had dropped the patient off at Lakeshore. "Hey, what's up with you?" Shay leaned over, getting Gabby's attention.

"Nothing, nothing." Was Gabby's reply but it was unconvincing even for her. Looking over at Shay, Gabby rolled her eyes, she knew she wasn't going to get away with that reply. "Fine, but you can't freak out ok!" After a quick nod from Shay that Gabby didn't believe, Gabby spoke, "Matt kissed me yesterday morning."

And she was right, Shay freaked out, cheering loudly as she clapped her hands against the steering wheel of the ambo, "Finally! Oh god finally!" Shay was so happy that at first she missed Gabby's unsure face, until she looked over again, "What? Was it that bad? He a sucky kisser? OH! Don't tell me…too much saliva?"

This made Gabby laugh and blush a little, Matt was the furthest thing from a bad kisser, he had been so sweet and gentle that it was giving her goose bumps just thinking it about it now. "No, no. Nothing like that. He was really sweet and amazing…" she blushed even more, she had never been kissed the way Matthew Casey had kissed her.

"So what's the problem?" This confused Shay; she wasn't sure why Gabby wasn't over the moon about it all.

Gabby shrugged, "No real problem, just my last relationship ended because…" she hadn't ever told Shay this but she felt like she could now, "he was abusive. In the end my boyfriend became abusive and one night he had his friends come over and…well…lets just say that I called Kelly the next morning." Gabby looked away, she knew Shay didn't need to be told more than that to understand what she meant, the hand on hers told her she understood.

"Gabby, I'm so sorry. I had no idea…" Shay shouldn't be saying sorry, none of it was her fault.

"It's alright, really. I guess, its just what happened has kinda, I don't know ruined me?" She shrugged, unsure of what to actually say but Shay reached over again, holding her hand tightly.

"Hey, it hasn't ruined you, you just need to trust yourself and trust Casey, I mean he isn't going to do that to you-" Gabby cut Shay off, there was in no way was she saying that Matt would hurt her like Jason did.

Turning in her seat, Gabby looked at Shay, "Oh God no, I know that Matt would never…" she shrugged again, "I guess I just I'm scared of what it would mean to be with Matt. And what if I can't keep the relationship together, I mean he is my best friend and I would be running the risk of losing that if I some how fucked up. Which I usually do" Looking away from Shay, Gabby found something to focus on outside the ambo, they would be back at the firehouse in a few minutes and that would mean she would be seeing Matt for the first time since the kiss and that would also mean she would need to be having _that_ conversation with him.

" _Ambulance 61, car accident East Rudolph and North Columbus, be advised Truck 81 and Squad 3 en route."_

Nodding to Shay, Gabby acknowledged the call through her radio, Shay setting off the lights and sirens, they would make it to the scene before truck, Gabby setting aside the knowledge that she would be seeing Matt earlier than she was hoping, but glad it would be at a call though, she wouldn't have to focus directly on him just yet.

Quickly arriving at the scene Gabby jumped out, finding the smoke still clearing from the crash. It was clear someone had turned when they weren't supposed to, causing three cars to collide. "Shay, check the other cars!" Gabby called out as she looked over at what would possible be the worst of it.

Finding herself standing in front of a smaller car, Gabby looked in, a young man staring back at her, she smiled. "Hey hun, what's your name?" She watched as he looked behind him, the car seat in the catching her eye. "Do you have a kid?" There was no one in the car seat but it worried her because the man only seemed to be focused on it.

Moving to the back of the car, she wretched open the back door, hoping that she wouldn't mind a nightmarish scene, instead she found the young child, no more than two years old, sitting in the foot console, hiding as far into the corner as possible. "Hey sweetie, it's ok…" Gabby leaned further into the car, trying to reach for the little girl. "It's alright sweetie…"

She thought about it for a moment, she really shouldn't be getting into the car, she had no idea if there were any other dangers but this little girl was scared and there was already another paramedic checking in on the man in the front. She could hear sirens in the background; she knew that truck and squad wouldn't be too far off.

As movement happened quickly, it seemed that the paramedic who was helping in the front had knocked the back door closed, jamming it as he did so. Gabby glanced back as it closed, shaking her head as she reached for the now crying child. "Come on honey, it's alright, I want to help you…" Gabby looked over her as much as she could, there was a cut on her head, clear bruising on her arm already, the seatbelt had clearly done it's job.

Gabby slid as close as possible, finally getting close enough to her the get a better look, the little girl hysterical from fear, tears streaking down her face.

"Dawson, what do you we have?" Matt's voice found her ears, he was looking through the window, pulling his gloves on. He was concerned to see Gabby in the back of the car, she should know better than to get in when she didn't know the danger but at the same time, he trusted her judgement and knew she wouldn't get in unless she had to.

The only problem was – he could smell the gas that was pouring out of the bottom of the car currently.

"Little girl, cut on her forehead, bruising…" she rattled off what she knew, trying to pull the girl closer to her but she seemed to be stuck, "Casey, something is wrong…" She looked closer; the little girl was tangled in the front seat belt, it was causing the little girl pain. "She's stuck!" Gabby glanced back to Matt the concern in her eyes evident, as she clearly could smell the gas as well. Matt looked around, moving to the other side of the car so he could get a better look at what was happening. He could see the distress on the little girls face but he could also see the worry in Gabby's eyes.

In the corner of his eye, Matt could see Mouch and Cruz ready with extinguishers, in case they were needed. "Alright, we are going to do this slowly…" they weren't sure if there were more injuries to the little girl so things had to happen slowly, "…cut through the seat belt and we will pull her through the window…" Matt leaned down and gave Gabby his knife, letting her cut the little girl free, the smell of gas getting stronger by the second.

With a snap, the belt gave way, freeing the little girl, Herman reaching over Matt's side to bring the crying child from the car, but the moment the little girl was free, it wasn't the front of the car that lit up but the back, Gabby could almost feel the flames on the back of her neck.

Gabby closed her eyes tightly and reached instantly for whatever and whomever she could, the flames flickering through the broken back window, she cried out as it all heated up around her, sweat was already coming down her forehead, both from the heat and the stress of the situation.

The two hands around her held tightly as she was pulled from the car, calls were around her, she could hear her name, but all she could focus on was the fact that someone was holding her close, she had been moved, she wasn't sure where too but whoever had moved her from where she was to where she was now.

She could hear the movement around her, the voices but all she could do was hold on, because the person who helped her was still holding on to her as well. Slowly she opened her eyes, finding that she was looking directly into Matt's chest, before she looked up at him, he had his arms around her still but he was looking back, clearly having moved them so his back was facing the burning car, he was making sure the flames were under control.

Eventually he turned to Gabby, his arms still holding her tightly, his eyes full of worry, "You alright?" He was looking over her, making sure she was ok after the close call.

Nodding quickly, Gabby smiled, "Yeah, yeah I'm alright. Thanks…" it was a rushed thank you, a deep breath out as she tried to steady herself. "Thank you…" she tried again, trying to really show him she was thankful.

Before Matt could say anything, Shay called Gabby away, they needed to get the little girl to the hospital with her father. What felt like an hour standing in his arms was only a minute, times suddenly kicking back in, with eye contact broken, Gabby rushed off towards Shay, a small smile playing on Shay's face as she watched their interaction.

Speeding off in the ambo, Gabby turned her attention to the little girl on the stretcher, having been settled a little as they made their way to the hospital.

* * *

Gabby slowed as she moved into the common room, they had spend about half an hour at the hospital once they dropped the little girl off, restocking and filling in their forms. She was unsure of what she would find when she got there, would Matt be sitting be sitting at the head of the table he usually sits at? Would he be standing behind the counter making something to eat? Would he be in his office with his head over a report he had yet to finished?

There were so many places he could be, so many different scenarios that could follow the minute she saw him, so many different emotions that were running through her right now. But as she stepped foot into the common room, Matt was neither sitting at the table, nor was he standing behind the counter, which had to mean he was in his office...right?

A hand on her back caught her attention and she found Kelly standing behind her, a smile on his face. "He is in with Boden, go and wait for him...it'll be alright." Before he left, Kelly placed a kiss on her forehead, a little confusion from those around them; they hadn't ever known Kelly and Gabby to be so close, not as much as they had been showing over the last few months.

Nodding a thank you, Gabby ducked her head and made her way towards matt's office, where she would wait for him and in that time she would think of something to say to him.

Pushing open his door slowly, Gabby made sure no one was around, she didn't want to be bringing attention to herself if she didn't have to and in turn she wouldn't be bringing attention to matt either. The last thing she wanted was to have any more prying eyes that she knew she already did with both Shay and Kelly.

Stepping into his office, Gabby smiled, it smelled like him, there was this particular smell that would send shivers down her spine whenever he was around and she was kind of glad that his room had that same smell, it was soothing as she internally freaked out.

Looking around his office, it was much like looking round his living room the day before, there were pictures against the wall above his desk, these ones were mostly of those from the firehouse, some people she didn't recognise, some people she knew but hadn't worked with. There were hand drawn pictures from children, depicting him as their hero, something she knew he would deny but he was s hero, he had saved many lives and will continue to save lives.

Against the side of his filing cabinet, it was around eye height if you were to be sitting down was two pictures, one was of him and her, it had been taken about three months ago, she had made a joke and no one had found it funny and so Matt had wrapped his arm around her shoulder, she remembered what he had said that day, _"Don't quit your day job"_

She had tried to push him away but he wouldn't let her go, Gabby also remembered Shay taking that photo, standing off to the side where she hadn't been seen. Gabby had rolled her eyes when she noticed what was happening but didn't stop it, Matt was hugging her and she was going to take whatever she could get.

The second photo was one of Matt, Kelly and someone she didn't know. They looked younger; it had to have been taken at least 8 years ago. Pulling it from against the cabinet, Gabby studied it a little harder. She was trying to place the person, why they been so important to Matt to have this photo right there. Matt looked happy and so did Kelly-

"That's Andy Darden. I don't think you would have ever met him. That photo teas taken about 9 years ago when we all ended up at the same house. We had only been on the job for about a year, the three of us going through the Academy together and somehow we ended up in the same house."

Matt's voice pulled Gabby from her thoughts, making her jump a little at the sound he was now standing by her side, reaching out for the photo like he hadn't looked at it in years. "It was crazy, having the three of us in the same houses, we caused more trouble for Boden then you could ever imagine, Andy was always pulling pranks, roping us into it all as well. My lieutenant at the time didn't know what to do with us, we were pretty crazy."

He laughed, almost as thought he was remembering something specific. "Andy had a couple of kids, amazing boys - Ben and Griffin - when he..." Matt swallowed, this was obviously hard for him and Gabby had an idea as to where it was going. "He died during a fire about 3 years ago now. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. He was my best friend and I got him killed."

This caused Gabby's sharp intake of breath. She knew that people died in the job, it was unfortunate but it happens, she also knew that a fire fighter can't blame themselves for any deaths or else it will eat them alive. Quickly she placed her hand on his back, "No, Matt. You can't blame yourself for that."

He shrugged against her, "Kelly did. For a long time he blamed me. He and Andy grew up together, knew each other even before the Academy. I was his lieutenant and I got him killed." Matt rubbed his eyes for a second before placing the photo back where it belonged.

Obviously he and Kelly had fixed their relationship since that point, but it still hurt her to know they had fallen so far from each other for a while. "Hey there is a reason why you became lieutenant after only 5 years on the job ok, you are amazing at what you do." Gabby moved her hand from his back to his cheek, it hurt her to see him feel like this but she was going to try and make it better.

Matt smiled into her touch, she was able to sooth him so easily, it was what he needed, especially when the anniversary of Andy's death was coming up. Clearing his throat, Matt turned fully to look at Gabby, he wanted so much to kiss her right then but didn't want to over step just yet; this was the first time they had been speaking since that morning.

As if sensing his questioning, Gabby smiled shyly, "Do you have some time...unless your busy I mean..." But Matt quickly shook his head; he was going to give her all the time in the world. Reaching up for her hand from his cheek, Matt lead her to the bed where they sat, thankful that the blinds were still drawn from the morning Matt had gotten changed in his office.

They sat in silence for a moment, Gabby never letting go of Matt's hand, something that he liked, knowing that she wasn't pushing him away too much just yet. Swallowing deeply Gabby smiled, "Thank you for saving my life today…" But Matt just shook his head, "No Matt, really. I know how close it was today, so really…thank you…"

Matt smiled widely, she was too cute when she was nervous, he could tell she was nervous. He could read her like an open book, it was something that he had prided himself on, after becoming her closet friend, Matt could honestly say that he could tell when something was wrong, something was upsetting her or when something was making her happy.

"I would do it again if I had to Gabs, you know that…" He just wanted her to know that it was ok, that it was his job but he would glad be the person to pull her out of situations if she needed the help.

Silence took over them, he could tell Gabby was wrestling with something, something that was eating at her. He held her hand tightly; telling her it was ok to keep going.

After a moment, she spoke, swallowing down the lump in her throat, "Ah…Matt I'm sorry about leaving the other morning…"

But Matt shook his head, "No it's alright, I mean, I was a little confused but I get it…" He was rubbing her hand as he spoke, he didn't really get it but he was trying to be there for her.

"No Matt, I shouldn't have left the way I did and I'm sorry for that. I guess, I just woke up and …I'm not good at this Matt, after everything that has happened, I guess I just freaked out." She still hadn't let go of his hand though; she was holding it tightly, wanting to hold onto him for as long as possible.

"Gabby, I get it, I really do…" he turned to face her, taking her other hand in his, before bringing her hands to his lips, pressing them against the top of her hands, "Look, this…us…whatever it is, I want to be able to see where this goes but I get if you don't want something or-"

But before he could finish Gabby leaned forward quickly, pressing her lips to his, shocking him into silence. They sat there for a moment, Gabby shocked with herself for kissing him and Matt shocked that she had kissed him as well. Gabby pulled away after a moment, smiling as she noticed his eyes were closed still, a smile on his face as well.

"It's not that I don't want this Matt, I do…I just…can we maybe take it slow? I just…I don't want to hurt you." She looked away, unsure about how he was going to take what she was saying. It was a moment of nothing until his hand touched her face, brushing her thumb against her cheek.

Leaning forward a little Matt laughed, "We can take this as slow as you want Gabs. I just…I'm not going to hurt you and I know you're not going to hurt me."

Gabby smiled back, "No, I know that, I just want to be sure of myself. Ok?"

That was all Matt needed and so he slowly leaned forward again, waiting to see if she would pull away, if this would be to quick for her. But it wasn't, biting the side of her lip, Matt rested his against hers once more, relishing in the feeling of her leaning into him as well.

It wasn't until the bell's rang that they pulled apart, laughing a little at each other they were called.

 _Ambulance 61, Truck 81, Squad 3, Battalion 25. Man down, suspected shooting, be advised police are on scene._

Moving quickly from the office, Gabby and Matt made their way towards their respective vehicles, sending a quick glance and smirk to each other as they jumped into and drove away.

* * *

 **What do you think? Any love?**


	8. Keep Holding On

**Can we just talk about CF for a moment? Dawsey with Louie?! Dawsey together! Angry Matt was SO good last week and I cant wait to see worried Gabby tonight and also what the rest of this season has to bring. It honestly sounds like it's going to be the best season yet!**

 **So considering this chapter is SO late…its about 7000 words to make up for making you all wait. Thanks to Gigi who continued to annoy me about this chapter…I don't mind that you did, it got my ass into gear to finish it!**

 **I hope you all enjoy this chapter, please let me know what you think! :D**

* * *

 **Chapter 8 – Keep Holding On**

"And as you can see behind me, the CPD are on scene. With the escalating gang activity over the last few months, it was not a surprise that things would start to overflow into the streets and as you can see in front of us the war may have only just begun."

The news crew moved closer to the scene in front of them. There had been a shooting on the foreshore by Lake Michigan, CPD was already there, but when there was a victim bleeding out on the cliff side above the water, they had called CFD.

"It seems as though the CFD have arrived…" The news crew streamed as the CFD and paramedics made their way on scene, those in charge taking over where they needed. "Let's see what unfolds…" The reporter spoke as she turned back to the scene in front of her, a close up of the paramedics and fire fighters coming to the screen.

The news crew continued to film as the scene unfolded around them.

* * *

Gabby jumped out of the ambo as they got to the screen, looking around, she noticed that they were surrounded by the CPD, vaguely wondering if Antonio was around on the scene but she also noticed the news crew that was there, she worried about what would happen if there were more gang member's around, it wouldn't be the first time the CFD/CPD and new crews were shot at during scene's like this.

She found her way to Boden and Matt who were already assessing the scene but she and Shay headed straight for the patient on the ground, being called over by the policeman who was there.

"What have we got?" She leaned over the man who was moaning on the ground, she didn't know if he had been shot or otherwise, but in the grand scheme of how bad these things could get, Gabby was going to be overly cautious.

Boden glanced to his side, nodding at Gabby, "CPD need you over there…" he nodded towards where the officers were calling towards her…Shay following with the stretcher and bag.

"He's OD'ing…" the cop spoke as soon as the girls turned up, Matt and Boden not far away, Kelly standing off to the side, watching in case they would need him. . It wasn't the first time that an OD went bad quickly, once the patient came down from their high, they could become violent.

Gabby started looking over the victim, Shay running her tests, checking for a pulse and to see how strong it was, chattering amongst themselves as they went along. "Is he coming down?" She called out once Shay pushed the next drug, hoping that something would work.

It the background, the firefighters and paramedics could hear Boden speaking to the police, there had been a gang shooting over the drugs this person was OD'ing on, CPD were all over the scene and it was clear that the new reporters were not going away anytime soon, in fact it seemed as though they were coming closer.

God Gabby hated the news crews, they were always so pushy, never letting them do their jobs, always trying to ask questions, she was glad Boden was there because he was keeping them back, _"You need to stay back…let them do their jobs…"_ But it was obvious that they were still trying to get information out of him, trying to push their mic's in their faces.

"Shay we need to move fast-" Movement cut Gabby off, the victim was finally coming down from his high, the meds taking over and bringing him down. After a few moments of bated breath, his eyes flashed open, consciousness coming to him before that consciousness hit him like a ton of bricks, his body instantly reaction to the pain he was feeling.

His entire body began to fight against the firefighters, Matt doing his best to keep his head straight, his shoulders down on the ground, Shay holding onto his side but Gabby wasn't as lucky, as she tried to reach for his legs, the victim kicked out, the strength of the come down excessive.

With one more buck, Gabby stumbled backwards, missing her step as she tried to steady herself, not realising that she was standing by the embankment, the icy water below her, nothing stopping her body connecting painfully with the sheet of ice covering the water.

Nothing to stop the scream she let out as the world around her fell away, her body sinking below the cracked ice, freezing waters sucking her down further, filling her lungs, her mind clearing of everything, darkness taking over her.

* * *

"Hold him down!" Matt called out, all his weight pressing down against the victim's shoulders, he could feel him fighting against the three of them. He looked up to see Shay resting almost her whole body against the victim's chest, trying to help out but Gabby was struggling, she was fighting against him to keep his legs flat, Kelly on his way to help her.

But that wasn't before the victim was able to kick out against them all, Gabby losing her grip, stumbling backwards against the force. It was as if in slow motion, Matt watched as Gabby was there one moment and then she was gone, the only sound was the sound of the heartbreaking scream she let out and then the sickening crack of the ice below.

The world stopped moving around Matt, his body stiffened for what felt like forever before something inside of him finally kicked in.

Matt scrambled to his feet, barely being able to grip on the slippery grass that surrounded the embankment; the minute Gabby was out of his sight, "Gabby!" His voice called out at the top of his lungs, leaning on his hands and knees as he tried to catch sight of her, something at all to know that she was ok. One minute she was there and the next, she was gone.

But all he found when he looked over the edge was the shattered top layer of the icey Lake, thick chunks of ice just floating, ripples in the water was all he could see. "Gabby!" He tried again, hoping that maybe she would come back up at his voice.

It felt like minutes had passed as he stood there for a few seconds, Gabby not resurfacing, he began to remove his jacket, dropping it onto the ground, pulling off his radio when Kelly called out for him, "Casey man, you can't! It's freezing in there!"

Matt didn't bother looking at Kelly as he spoke, his hands still moving over his turnout pants, "It's Gabby!" he cried out, forceful, angry, scared, not caring that people were watching him, he was going in after her, he was going to save her.

"Matt, you can't!" Kelly's voice found his ears again, Matt was going to explode, how could he really think he could stop him from going in. With his suspenders hanging at his shoulders now, Matt turned to him, a shocked look on his face but he could see Capp and Kelly already suiting up in their wet suits. He wanted to go in after her; he had to go in after her.

He stopped for a moment, watching as Kelly pulled the hood over his head, his tank being loaded onto his back, ready to go. He nodded quickly, hands shaking as he looked over the edge again, Gabby still not surfacing. "Please…it's Gabby…" he whispered, almost begging as Kelly and Capp all by pushed him out the way, making their descent into the water.

It wasn't usual to have both Kelly and Capp go into that water but it was one of their own and they knew how cold the water was going to be and they also knew how much time they didn't have.

The members of 51 stood at the edge as they watched, Shay holding onto Otis as they waited, waited for what felt like forever, Matt holding his hands together to try and stop them from shaking, he kept looking over at Boden and then back to the lake, _why hadn't they found her yet?_

Terror filled Matt's core, he couldn't understand why they hadn't found her, would she still be alive if they did? Would she be ok? Would he ever get to look into her eyes again? Mentally shaking his head, he couldn't think like that, he trusted Capp and Kelly, they would find her.

They had to find her.

Moments later, Capp resurfaced, Kelly not far behind, with Gabby in his arms, her face was pale, lips blue, eyes closed. Slowly they pulled her up the embankment, Matt instantly taking her in his arms, pulling her to the grass where he laid her down, Shay at her side, a rush of hands moving over her. "Shay…?" Matt tried to get something out of her but she and Mills continued to work, trying to make sure she was that she had no severe injuries before loading her into the waiting ambo.

"Gabby, come on girl…" Shay spoke as she looked her over, "She's got a cut on the back of her head, she's hit her head on the ice, but I can't see anything else wrong with her." In that statement, it seemed as though Shay felt like nothing else was wrong with Gabby, other than she was cold and had been knocked out.

Quickly Matt wrapped the thermal blanket around her shoulders, trying to warm her up, but nothing seemed to work, she was getting paler as they watched her, Shay and Mills still trying to get an IV into her, trying their best to warm her up. Matt was desperate at this point, he just needed her to wake up, he need Gabby to open her eyes just to know that she was ok. "Shay…?" Matt tried again, his voice barely above a whisper, Shay just glancing up at him, a look of understanding in her eyes. Matt looked terrified, his eyes welling with tears as he thought about the worst that could happen at this moment.

It was a quick movement, almost like an involuntary jerk, but Matt felt it, his eyes darting instantly back down to Gabby, her hand tightly wrapped in his, the freezing temperature of her body making him shiver. "Gabby?" It was as though everyone slowed, just watching to see what would happen, was she waking up or was he just imagining things?

"Gabby?" He tried again, running his hand over her cheek, the worst feeling settling in at the cold on her skin, the blue of her lips. Suddenly she let out a shiver, her whole body kicking back in thanks to the warm saline that Shay had been able to get through her IV.

Gabby rolled her head towards Matt's hand, instantly seeking out his warmth, consciousness coming to her, her eyes fluttering open against the pain she was feeling. "It's alright Gabs, take it slow…" Shay coaxed Gabby to look at her, needing to see how her reaction time was. Slowly Gabby turned her head towards Shay, blinking a few times, trying to gauge her surroundings. But it wasn't until Matt spoke again did she finally realise where she was.

"You're ok. Just you gotta take it slow…" he reached out to touch her face once more, finally getting her attention, the look in her eyes one of understanding. Slowly Matt and Shay helped her sit up, there was no visual signs of injury past the cut on the back of her head that already had blood starting to dry. Instinctively Gabby leaned into Matt's side, needing the extra warmth she found there. He sighed, pulling her close to him as she leaned into him, glancing over at Shay and Boden who just watched them.

Gabby was barely able to croak out , "Matt…" her hands still holding onto Matt tightly as she held onto the thermal blanket, the cold, icy water, hardening her hair as the water dried. The cold was starting seep into Matt's skin, soaking through his shirt but he wasn't going to let her go, not as long as she held onto him. He shivered a little against his will but he pulled her close anyway.

Slowly she pulled away, looking back at him for a long while before he spoke again, a small smile coming to his lips, "Let's get you to Chicago Med…" Matt lifted her gently into his arms, carrying her the short distance to the waiting gurney, resting her there gently before pulling away, "You're gonna be alright…" He let his hand slowly slip from hers, nodding to her that she was going to be ok.

Resting her head against pillow, Gabby sighed, her body slipping into unconsciousness, the shock of the situation taking over her.

"And here you see CFD at their very best, rescuing one of their very own. We have learned that Paramedic in Charge Gabriella Dawson of Firehouse 51 was just rescued by the firehouse's own Rescue Squad 3. We will keep you updated when news comes in, but here you see first hand, the best this city deserves."

The news reporter smiled into the camera, the scene now scattered around her, ambo 61 heading towards Chicago Med while the second taking the other victim towards Lakeshore.

* * *

"So we have been able to stitch up the gash on the back of your head, you're clear of a concussion and should make a full recovery…" Dr. Rhodes looked over his iPad as he spoke to Gabby, assessing the warm saline that was running through her IV to make sure it was running as it should.

Gabby sat up against the hospital bed, she was warmer now, she had more colour and looked more like herself, she smiled. "That's good to know. When can I go home?"

Dr. Rhodes laughed, he knew Gabby well enough to know that she hated being in the hospital, also considering she had been asking that same question since she had woken up almost an hour ago, she was feeling a lot more like herself now and she was feeling much better. "Well let's see how you go after this next round of warm saline and we will see. Plus there is also something else…"

Gabby scrunched her face in confusion as he moved towards the door, opening it to allow almost a parade of people to walk through the door. Shay was followed by Kelly, Boden, Otis, Cruz, Capp, Antonio and finally Matt, who when she looked at him, she found that he looked like he had seen a ghost, his face was pale and his eyes were dim, almost like he had been trying to hold back tears.

"Hey guys…" She was able to get out, Shay coming straight to her side, wrapping her arms around her gently, "I'm ok…Hey Shay, I'm ok…" She could tell that Shay was worried, scared for her, the tightness of her hug telling her that she had been scared.

Shay pulled back, glancing to Rhodes as she did, "So our girl is gonna be ok?" she needed to hear it from the doctor.

Dr. Rhodes smiled, "Yes, Gabby is going to be just fine. We will keep an eye on you for the rest of the day just to make sure she is fine…and she is to have the rest of the week off…but other than that, she is good to go once this pack is empty." He made a point of looking at Boden at this point, who nodded, Gabby would be getting time off work, he would make sure of that.

"Don't worry Doc, I can stay with her." Antonio moved passed the group towards his sister, pulling her close to his side, "Hey kiddo." He held her tightly, something about a brother's hug that made her feel safer, a tear slipping down her face. "Hey, come now…don't cry…" he whispered in her ear, not loud enough for anyone else to hear though.

Slowly they settled into a comfortable conversation, a laugh about the past, most of them ignoring what had happened, not wanting to bring up something that could have been very bad. Gabby didn't need to be reminded of what had happened and they didn't want to push her.

At some point through the conversation, Gabby looked towards Matt who was sitting opposite her, leaning forward, his eyes brighter now that he had seen her. Matt's eyes locked with hers, a small smile coming to their lips, one that was only meant for each other. A secret that they held between each other.

"Thanks for being here guys, I really appreciate it." She smiled around at them, Cruz and Otis nodding in reply, Kelly itching to get by her side; he needed to know she was really ok. He had watched her get kicked back, watching her stumble as she tried to get her feet but not being able to steady. He had felt so much fear as he watched her fall backwards, hearing the crack of the ice below and the desperation in Matt's voice as he called to her.

Kelly knew she was in trouble the minute he hadn't seen her resurface, the water was icy, it would have sent her body into free fall, her temperatures dropping continuously until there would be nothing left, he had to get to her, he had to pull her from that water. With each step he took under the murky water, his heart pounded, he couldn't see in front of his face, but he could _feel_ her.

He knew she was there somewhere close to him, almost as though she was reaching out to him and it didn't take long before something touched his hand, just long enough for him to grasp for it, pulling the weight towards his body, he was able to make out Gabby's outline, her soft hair floating around her, her body limp. He had instantly felt the terror rush through him once more, she had passed out, no doubt from the impact or the cold but this was bad, he needed to get her to the surface.

Blinking, Kelly found Gabby smiling at him, her hand outstretched for him, she was able to read his face, able to see what was running through his head. Reaching for her, Kelly held her hand tightly, feeling comfortable knowing that she was going to be all right. Leaning forward he placed a kiss on her forehead, "You're a tough one, huh kid? This made her laugh; she needed to laugh.

"Alright, we need to head back to the firehouse." Boden stood, they did need to get back, granted ambo has been taken off the calls, the rest of the fire fighters had to go. Groaning they all stood, each of them saying goodbye to Gabby, promising they would come and visit her after shift when she was home. With a hug and a kiss, each of them left the room, Antonio heading out towards the nurse's desk to get the discharge info that he needed.

Gabby placed her head against the pillow behind her, sighing deeply, she let her body relax into the bed, not realising that Matt was still there, he hadn't moved from where he was. After a moment she smiled a little, "You know, you keep sitting there, I'm not going to fall asleep, it's kinda creeping me out…" Opening her eyes, Gabby let her smile fall as she looked at Matt, he wasn't smiling as such, a small pull of the side of his lips but it wasn't the smile that she knew.

"Hey…come here…" She waved him to her side, watching as he slowly stood, his turnout pants sitting low on his hips are he came to her side, she didn't know what it was that made her notice it but there was something different about his uniform. Slowly Matt same to sit on the size of the bed, giving Gabby a chance to really look over him, a sense of unsureness coming over as she did.

Gabby reached for his hand as he sat by her side, intertwining their fingers, "I'm ok ya know…" She smiled a little at him, hoping it would help to calm down anything that was running through his head, she knew him well enough to know what was going through his head and it wasn't good. "Matt…I'm ok…"

But he just nodded, holding her hand tightly as he looked at her, taking in every inch of her, memorising her face and her eyes and her lips. He knew he could have lost her today and that was something he wasn't ok with, that was something that he would never be ok with.

* * *

Gabby had been awake for a little while now, she had been woken up to the nurses coming in, checking her vitals, playing with her IV, it was annoying but she knew it had to be done.

And honestly she was very anxious to get out of the hospital, she was already tired of it and she had only been there for less than 24 hours but she didn't like the food she was given for dinner, she missed her comfy bed and she hated the noise that surrounded her, the typical hospital noises that were bound to drive anyone crazy.

Thankfully, Antonio had brought her something to read, he had gone home in the afternoon to bring her some things he knew she would like…as well as a book. And that was what she had done the moment she had woken up, reached for her book and begun to lose herself in the world she was reading. It wasn't until a few hours later that she looked up, someone opening her hospital room door.

"Hey what are you doing here?" Gabby looked up as Matt walked into the hospital room. She had desperately hoped that it was Antonio, she just wanted to go home, but Matt wasn't such a bad replacement, he just couldn't take her home.

Matt smiled widely when he saw Gabby was awake, her legs crossed on the bed with a book resting on her lap. She looked better, her normal colour had come back, her eyes a bright colour and her lips the beautiful shade of pink he had come to love. "Well, a little birdy told me that you were being kept overnight and that Antonio had to get some stuff done this morning, so I thought I'd keep you company…"

He moved to the side of the bed, sitting by her side, watching as her lips curled even further into her smile, something he loved to see. She knew Antonio had a couple of things to finish off this morning for his current case and also that he had called Kelly to tell him about her staying in overnight but she never thought Matt would have come to see her that morning. "Thanks…your company is bearable I guess…"

Shocked, Matt leaned over and reached for her, listening to her giggle was the best thing in the world, "Well then…maybe I'll just eat this all myself…" Quickly he reached for the bag of donuts and coffee that he had brought in with him, he knew she liked donuts and needed the coffee but now he was going to use it as revenge. Slowly he pulled a glazed donut from the bag, watching as her eyes widened with want and shock. He was now far enough away from her that she would have to lean forward to get the donut from him.

In one quick motion, Matt bit into it, savouring the taste of the sugar, he closed his eyes, he was making Gabby jealous right now and he loved it. "Mmmm, so good…" he spoke with a mouthful, missing Gabby lean forward to him and snatch what was left of the donut from his hands, before putting it into her mouth.

"Hey! That was mine!" He laughed, leaning away from her again as she pushed his shoulder, more laughter coming from them both. "Do you honestly think I would have only gotten one donut?" Matt asked as he pulled the second from the bag, this one covered in icing sugar.

But Gabby shook her head, "Oh course not, but now it means that I get half of each of them!" It was a wicked smile she threw back at him, Matt should have expected this, she was in a good mood, a playful mood.

Rolling his eyes, he took a bite out of the icing donut before handing her the rest, watching her eat it in almost one bite…his girl could eat. "Oh god! That is so good!" Gabby savoured the donut, it had been the first piece of _real_ food she'd had in almost 24 hours and for anyone who knows Gabby Dawson, that's a stretch. "This hospital food is terrible!"

They fell into easy conversation after this, Matt sitting further onto the bed, his leg resting across it while the other one hung to the side. This was nice, granted they were sitting in a hospital bed after Gabby had almost drowned, but she was smiling again and that's what he liked to see.

"So ah…I have to ask…" Gabby dropped her head, she was a little embarrassed at what she was going to say next, only because it would mean that she was paying attention to him in a way that was probably too early in their relationship to happen but she had to ask.

Matt looked over at her, smiling when he noticed her head down, she was trying to cover her face, something she did when she was embarrassed. Slowly he leaned over, taking her hand in his, he waited for her to continue, not wanting to push her until she was ready to speak.

"Yesterday when I woke up…" she swallowed down the lump that was forming in her throat. True she had yet to process what had actually happened and the nurses were concerned that she seemed fine, but she really was ok, she was alive and that's all that mattered. "Yesterday you didn't have your jacket and your shirt was untucked…" Gabby blushed as she spoke, not sure how he was going to take what she was saying.

But Matt only nodded; it surprised him a little that Gabby had noticed that, he would have thought she was too caught up in everything else but she had and he wondered what she would do when he told her the reason for this. "Yeah…I ah…I may have attempted to jump in after you…" Now he looked embarrassed. As a firefighter he knew that that was not the right thing to do, that if he had jumped into that water it would have meant death for both of them but he didn't care, he needed to get to her.

Gabby blinked, what the hell was he thinking? "Matt, why?" But the rolled eyes she got in return stopped her.

"Why do you think Gabby? You are my best friend and I care about you so much…I wasn't going to let you drown!" he was frustrated now, why did she question him? "Gabby, it wasn't smart, had I jumped in, it wouldn't have been smart but my first instinct, even before I realised what I was doing, was to go in after you." He reached for both her hands now, holding them tightly, "The minute I saw you go over that embankment, I freaked out ok." He brought her hands to his lips, he hadn't been able to be affectionate with her since before the accident and he really wanted to be close to her.

Gabby was a little angry, a little angry with him because he should have known better. If he had jumped in after her and something would have happened to him, she would have been devastated but at the same time, she couldn't say she was surprised though, she would have probably done the same thing had he been the in same situation.

Leaning forward quickly, Gabby pressed her lips against his, stopping any words that he was going to say; she wanted him to know that she appreciated that he would have gone in after her, that he would have risked his own life. Matt smiled into the kiss, glad to have the chance to be able to kiss her again but also that she was willing to kiss him; she still wasn't shying away from the budding romance.

The feel of her lips on his was like heaven, even being in hospital and being chapped from the cold, they were still the softest thing he had ever felt. He wanted to bring her close to him, but he knew he couldn't, instead he reached out for her, his hands resting against the side of her face, Matt held her to him, letting Gabby lead the kiss but not wanting to let her go.

Pulling away, Matt smiled back at Gabby, running his hand over her cheek gently. "I'm so glad you are ok baby…" he let the one word slip from his lips, he didn't mean to but it did.

Gabby pulled away a little more, looking into his eyes; she needed to know if she had heard that for sure or if she was hearing things. But the smile on his face was enough to tell her that he had said it, making her blush a little before she sat back, keeping their hands joined together.

But was until her hospital door swung open, Antonio stepping through without even bothering to knock. "Who is ready to get out of here?" he called out, stopping when he saw Matt. "Oh hey Casey. What are you doing here?" In truth Antonio could see something was happening between Matt and Gabby, he had seen it when Matt was waiting outside in the waiting room the day before, then after when they were in the hospital room, he had seen the hug they had shared.

Matt cleared his throat; he knew that Gabby didn't want to say too much just yet when it came to their relationship, he just hoped that Antonio wouldn't question it too much. "I stopped by after shift, Kelly said Gabs was being discharged this morning so I thought I'd stop by." He stood quickly, putting his hand out to shake Antonio's, glad that he took it willingly.

"Yeah, I figured he would mention it…" Antonio looked over at Gabby, who was still sitting with her legs crossed on the bed, she looked better, brighter but he could see something behind her eyes, it was there and he wondered how long it would take until it bubbled over. "Ready to go Gabs?" He held up the bag in his hands, her eyes widening at the sight, she had clothing that belonged to her.

"Yes!" She almost bounced in her spot, reaching for it. She wanted to go home, she wanted to get out of that hospital gown and get out of this hospital. Antonio laughed, handing her the bed, watching as she moved slowly towards the bathroom. She was still sore from the fall but she looked better.

They both watched as she moved towards the bathroom, smiling as she went. "How is she?" Antonio nodded towards Gabby, hoping that maybe Matt had a little more insight into how she was coping.

Matt thought for a moment, "She's better than yesterday but I don't know…there is something…" Both men nodded, it was clear that Matt cared about Gabby, he could read her easily, see what she was trying to hide. "I'm so glad she is alright…" the last few words were more to himself but Antonio nodded in agreeance, smiling a little to himself when he watched Matt look in the direction of the closed bathroom door, a concerned look on his face.

"Hey ah…" Antonio knew that Gabby would want Matt around as much as possible, other than the fact that he knew that Gabby had feelings for Matt, he also knew that they were very close friends, "…why don't you come over, I was going to see if Shay and Kelly wanted to come past as well, I know Gabby will want to spend some time with you all." He hoped that having them around as much as possible would help her forget about what happened for as long as possible.

The bathroom door opened suddenly, Gabby stepping out in a pair of grey track pants and t-shirt, she looked more comfortable, happier. "Oh God, that feels better!" she laughed when she saw Antonio and Matt standing exactly where she had left them, "What's going on?" She was confused, it looked like they were in a conversation but wasn't sure what was happening.

Antonio reached for the empty bag at her side, "Nothing, just asked Matt if he wanted to come over after we get you settled, Shay and Kelly said they would come past as well." He watched as she nodded, glancing over to Matt with a smile, hoping that he would have agreed to come over.

"Yeah I was going to say I have a couple of things to do today but I'm happy to come past." He smiled back at Gabby, widening a little more when she blushed.

It didn't take long before Gabby was discharged with strict orders to rest and ensure that if she had any problems to come back as soon as possible. Gabby put up a fight when the nurse brought in the wheelchair, the look on her face was almost priceless but one look from Matt and she would do anything he would ask, all he had to do was flash is wide smile and she had rolled her eyes before sitting down.

"Thanks for the push…" She looked over her shoulder to Matt who was leaning down, he wanted to be as close to her as possible for as long as possible but with Antonio around, that wasn't going to happen. And so he opted for just pushing the wheelchair, something he was happy she let him do, it felt…sort of…trustworthy, almost a sign that Gabby wanted him around more than just the starting of a new relationship.

He was, after all, her best friend, but now with everything that had been happening between them and their changing relationship, things were different, things were almost new again.

Matt smiled, watching as Antonio made his way to the car, his back turned to them both, "No need to thank me…" he whispered in Gabby's ear, touching his lips to her cheek quickly, pulling away before Antonio could see them, but luck was not on their side.

Antonio had turned around to help Gabby up when he had seen Matt lean over, a kiss placed on Gabby's cheek, the loving smile they had given each other then the shock that had come over their faces when they noticed that Antonio was watching them, a smirk and a raised eyebrow sent their way.

Deciding to ignore what had happened, Gabby looked over at Matt, "Help me up?" She raised her hand to him, truthfully she didn't need any help from him but she wanted to feel his touch. Slowly she stood, she was still sore from the accident, her back and neck still stiff but the more she moved the easier things became.

Slowly guiding her towards the open car door, Matt couldn't look at Antonio, unsure of what Gabby's big brother would say but not really interested in finding out just yet. With one more smile, Matt closed the door, turning to Antonio who was watching him. "See you back at Gabby's apartment?" Antonio questioned suddenly, an extended hand out for Matt to shake, he was shocked a little but he shook it anyway.

"Ah yeah sure, I have to head out and do something but I'll come past in about an hour or so." Antonio just nodded, waving goodbye before he made his way to the drivers side, jumping before looking over at Gabby, sending her a smirk.

But Gabby rolled her eyes, "Don't say anything Tonio…" She really didn't want to hear anything from him, she didn't want his advice or his thoughts, she was a happy with Matt and that was all there was too it.

"Hey," Antonio raised his hands in defence, "I wasn't going to say anything…" but Gabby gave him a _yeah right_ look before turning away to look at the road in front, essentially blocking her brother out of this conversation.

* * *

Matt smiled as he looked down at Gabby; her head was resting against his leg, her eyes no doubt closed as she lay there. He had turned up about an hour after Kelly and Shay had, happy to see her smiling and laughing with them both as Antonio had let him into the living room. He had always loved her laugh and considering how things had gone down not to long ago, he hated to think that there was a chance that he may not have heard that laugh again.

But when she had noticed him standing there, her smile had brightened, her eyes widening when he smiled back at her. Slowly she had made her way to him, her arms around his neck instantly, thankful that he had come over as well. She would never tell him but she was starting to get worried that he wasn't going to come.

And so not long after that had all happened had he sat on the couch by her side, instantly her body moving towards his, her head finding his legs as he wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. The five of them had fallen into easy conversation and laughter, trying to keep it all light, not wanting to bring down the mood too much.

"I think she is asleep…" Antonio nodded towards Gabby, who had fallen asleep against Matt, his hands moving through her hair as he relaxed her, something that he had been doing without realising. "I'm surprised she lasted this long to be honest with you." He really was surprised that she had been awake for as long as she was but the minute she had laid against Matt she had started to doze off.

Kelly laughed, "If all it takes to put her to sleep is Matthew Casey…maybe we should keep you around for the times she goes a little crazy!" Matt didn't find that overly amusing but he was glad he was having this affect on her, it was his way of keeping her calm.

"But maybe there is another reason why Gabby will want to keep you around…" Shay pipped in finally, smirking as Matt glared at her. He knew that Shay knew they were kind of together, he just wasn't expecting her to say something with Antonio around.

"Oh come on Casey! I know my sister better than you think! And I can see that look on your face when you look at her. How long have you two been dating?" Antonio leaned forward, looking intently at Matt, who was now finding himself surrounded by 3 sets of eyes, all hoping for some form of information.

He stammered for a moment, unsure of what to actually say. Swallowing deeply, he signed, "It's been about a two weeks and really, we are just kinda finding our feet. That's all…" he didn't want to make too much of a big deal about their relationship just yet, he wanted time for them to figure it all out before he had _that_ conversation with her big brother.

Silence filled the room, it was a little unnerving having them staring at him but thankfully for Matt, Gabby decided to roll over into him a little more, giving him an out to draw his attention back to her. "I'm gonna go and put her in bed, this can't be comfortable…" Slowly he lifted her into his arms, bringing her against his chest, he followed the directions Kelly had given him to her bedroom. Once he was out of sight, Kelly, Shay and Antonio all looked at each other, bright smiles coming to their faces.

* * *

Antonio grunted awake as a sound came to his ears, it wasn't a normal sound; it wasn't something that he had heard in a very long time either. Slowly he rolled out of bed, his feet touching the floor softly before he moved towards the sound. Echoing down the hallway he found himself in front of Gabby's closed bedroom door. Pushing it open he looked around, not finding her where he expected but instead he found the closed en-suite door.

"Gabby?"

He pushed it open slowly, not sure what he would find, she can't have been in the shower because he could hear her, he could hear noises. "Gabby?" he tried again, sighing when he saw her, sitting against the side of the bathroom, towel wrapped around her body, wet hair sitting limp on her shoulders.

"I got cold again…"

She wrapped her arms closer around herself, holding the towel closer as Antonio sat down by her side, placing his arm gently around her shoulder, pulling her into his side. "It's ok Gabs…it's ok…" carefully he pulled Gabby onto his lap, holding her close where she buried her face into his neck, holding him tightly.

That was when the dam broke, Gabby held onto her big brother like he was her lifeline, tears falling down her cheeks until being stopped, a deep sob echoing from her lungs. Antonio just held her tighter; he was waiting for this to happen, he could see it coming from the moment he saw her in that hospital room that morning.

Gabby had almost died yesterday, she had been under that water for longer than anyone ever should have, he had no idea what she remembered or how she felt or if she was even conscious at that point under the water but he did know that she was breaking right now and here is where he needed to be, by his little sister's side.

He held her close, letting her take whatever time she needed to process what had happened, thankful that he had been there for her and not somewhere else. Antonio would have hated it if she had woken up alone in this house, having to deal with the pain on her own. She would have called him of course but it wouldn't have been the same as if he was there now with her.

Gabby clung to her brother as she cried, the realisation of how bad yesterday could have been settling in. She needed her brother, she needed his strength and thankfully he was there for her.

 **Any love for the chapter that took FOREVER!?**


	9. Can't Be Tamed

**I AM SO SORRY that this has taken so long to get updated. I have been working nights so writing has been difficult. So I am so very sorry about the long time this has taken. Thank you to all the reviews I have gotten for the last chapter and to those who lovingly annoy me on twitter about updating this…I couldn't do it without you. And also as always Rebecca…you are amazing and thank you for everything!**

 **CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT THE LAST EPISODE! I LOVED THE WEDDING, it was amazing! And completely what I wanted for them and they got married in their gear, it was SO good! I am SO excited to see what comes from this season so.**

 **So without waiting any longer, here is the new chapter. Let me know what you all think?**

* * *

 **Chapter 9 – Can't Be Tamed**

For the second shift in a row news crews sat outside the fire house he walked in, hoping to catch a glimpse of Gabby walking through the firehouse doors and just like the last two shift she hadn't been there. Boden had given her the time off she thought she didn't need, telling her to rest up, to relax and to come back to work at the beginning of next week. And had Matt not heard the end of it. So many times she had asked him to ask Chief to see if she could come back early but he had always laughed and shook his head, telling her to take the time to rest and that she would be back before she knew it.

They had been in constant contact since she had come home from the hospital, he had spent a bit of time at her apartment, just relaxing and enjoying each other's company. Any time he wasn't on shift, they would be together, sharing the little things, little kisses and hugs, holding hands, anything to just be near each other.

Ducking his head, Matt smiled as he looked down at the photo of himself and Gabby on his phone. He wanted to put it as his phone screen but thought that it would be too early for that, instead he had made it her display picture who it would come up when she called or texted.

He smiled wider, it was a photo of them both laying on her couch, her against his chest, him holding her. They had been looking at photos on his phone when he had flicked to the camera by accident, spurring on a series of terrible photos and laughter, it was about the only time he had ever taken a selfie when he wasn't with his niece.

She had told him he was crazy and that they weren't teenagers but he had continued to take the photos, watching as she hid her face and laughed.

"Excuse me, excuse me!" Matt looked up at the sound of the voice coming towards him, he wasn't sure who they were or what they wanted but he suddenly had a phone shoved into his face, questions being hurled his way. "Excuse me, can you tell us about Gabriella Dawson? How is she? Did she survive the accident? When is she coming back to work?" Matt blinked for a second; he was trying to register what was being asked of him. It was a reporter asking questions, a reporter was asking about Gabby.

Realisation came to him suddenly; this was the same reporter who caught Gabby's accident, the same one who had broadcast her name over the evening news. Straightening his back, Matt huffed a little. "She is fine and I have no other comment about it." He turned on his heels, ignoring the calls from the reporter who wanted more information from him. As he made his way up the drive way, he looked towards Boden, who just nodded at him, having seen and heard what had happened.

It made Matt so angry, these people thought it was ok for them to just broadcast things all over the news like they had, no regard for the people it could be hurting. They hadn't told Gabby about it, she hadn't asked so it was clear she didn't know and considering the conversation he had had with Kelly and Boden, they intended on keeping it that way. He hated that she had become a piece of news, that they just wanted a 'feel good story', he was going to make sure she didn't become that.

Yes it was great that they wants to make this a good story but at the same time, they were pushing in where they weren't wanted and it was making their lives a little more difficult than what they needed it to be.

Throwing his bag into his locker, Matt groaned again, he really did hope that the reporters would go before Gabby came back to work next week, he didn't want the added pressure of having someone shoving a camera in her face. "You alright Lieutenant?" Matt looked up to find Otis watching him, concerned that something was wrong as he had seen him get frustrated with his bag.

"Yeah it's alright Otis…thanks…" Otis was just checking in, there was no reason to bite his head off, even though he was still angry.

"Ok…well Chief said he wants to talk to us all…told me to come and find you…" Matt nodded his thanks before pulling his shirt from his body, changing out into this CFD uniform, wondering what it could be that Boden needed to talk to them about.

Standing at the back of the conference room Matt kept his arms crossed and his face stoic. In the corner of the room was the reporter that had approached him as he was walking in, everyone was watching her. To be honest, it must have felt a little uncomfortable having so many people staring at you but Matt didn't really care, he was pissed that she was there. "Hey man…" Matt looked up to find Kelly coming to his side. "How's our girl?" It was clear that Kelly had known who this woman and so he didn't want to say too much but this might be the only chance he had at actually asking Matt about it.

Uncrossing his arms, Matt looked down, smiling lightly. "She's good. Hated being home the way she is but she is good. Antonio stayed the night with her when she got home. Said that she broke down but she has been alright since." Kelly nodded, he was sure that it was going to happen, glad that Antonio was there to help her.

"That's great man…and you two?" This caused Matt to look up, a raised eyebrow and a small smirk forming on his lips; Matt was trying to hide it though. "Oh come on, you think I haven't been able to tell? Neither of you have stopped smiling." Kelly rolled his eyes, laughing at the terrible cover Matt was trying to pull.

Hushing his voice a little more Matt smiled, "We are good. Just taking it slow. Especially now…but I'm really happy…" Matt wasn't usually the sort of person to share his feelings but with was Kelly he was talking to.

"Alright listen up!" Boden walked into the conference room as Matt was going to continue speaking, the other man's voice causing everyone in the room to turn towards him. Behind him was someone Matt had never seen before, the woman stood tall, she knew her place. "I am going to say this once and once only to everyone in this room. There is to be no communication with the press in regards to Gabriella Dawson."

He glanced towards the reporter at the side of the room, watching as her face tightened, "However, I am going to give you a first and final statement. Gabriella is doing well, she is home and taking time to rest up before coming back to shift next week…" The reporter nodded, it was clear to even her that she wasn't going to get any more information from Boden.

"Now this is Ms. Moore. She is from the department and will be handling any further questions from in regards to Miss. Dawson…" He looked towards the woman, this was a show, more for the sake of the reporter in the room but also for the rest of the fire fighters, "Should you be approached on or off shift, you are to direct any questions to her. Do I make myself clear?"

Everyone in the room nodded, a moment of silence before being dismissed. "Casey, you stay." Stopping in his tracks, Matt looked towards Boden before turning and resting against the table, watching as his men continued on from the room. "Now, I understand that you were approached this morning…what happened?"

Matt just shook his head, "nothing much, just wanted to know how Gabby was, what she was doing, if she was…" he swallowed suddenly, he hated that this question had been asked, "…alive. When she was coming back to work. I didn't give them anything though Chief…"

"No you're fine Lieutenant, I just needed to know what was being asked, that's all." Ms. Moore stepped forward. "Now I should tell you that they have your name as well, the footage that was released to the public shows yourself very clearly," She raised her eyebrow towards both Matt and Boden, Matt unsure of what she was getting at.

Matt's back straightened, "I'm not quite sure what you are trying to say Ms. Moore." He didn't like being played with. Boden cleared his throat from behind her, something Matt understood as to stand down, he could tell that Matt was getting angry. Taking a step back, Matt rested against the table again, trying to put as much distance between himself and this woman.

"What I mean lieutenant is, are you and Ms Dawson in a relationship?"

How the hell could they tell that from the footage!? Everyone was worried about Gabby, he can't have been the only one who was freaking out when she fell. Swallowing, Matt didn't know what to say. It wasn't against the rules for a medic and a fire fighter to be in a relationship, it was frowned upon but not against the rules. But something was telling him that that little loop whole wouldn't stop the department from trying to move one of them out to another house. But in the background Boden nodded slightly.

"As of recently yes…" He was quiet, Matt unsure of where she was going to take this information.

But nothing happened, Ms. Moore, just looked towards Boden, a looked shared between them before she walked from the room, leaving Matt very confused. "What the hell was that Chief?" Matt stepped away from the table, coming to Boden's side.

"She is just getting all the information she needs. Don't worry, she assured me that neither of you would be transferred out of 51." Boden patted Matt on the shoulder, letting him know that it was all right, that it didn't matter if she knew but Matt still worried of what she might do.

* * *

Gabby giggled as Matt ran his hands over her sides, his fingers were doing wonders against her skin and she just loved it. Pulling him closer to her chest, Gabby bit down against his shoulder, trying to keep herself from either laughing out loud or moaning out loud...she wasn't too sure which would happen but she did know that they didn't want to draw attention to fact that his office door was closed.

Matt loved being the causes of the noises she gave off, even when they were hiding away in his office, trying to be discreet, he couldn't help himself...and it was even worse when she bit down against his shoulder, trying to stifle the moan she was holding back.

They really shouldn't have been doing this, they wanted to keep their relationship to themselves for as long as possible, they wanted to enjoy just being them and being together for as long as possible but they had also agreed to take things slowly. They had agreed that they wouldn't rush into anything, they were taking their time and even sex was going to wait until they were ready but the minute she had seen him jumped out of the front of the truck when they arrived back from a call, still dressed in his turn out gear, she had stopped in her tracks.

She had always found his sexy in his gear but there was something about today, the soot on his face, the way his hair fell in a mess across his head, she had needed to be near him. So quickly sending him a text, she had met him in his office, slammed the door behind her and wrapped her arms around his neck, their lips instantly.

Gabby had pushed him back against his bed instantly, an _'oof'_ coming from his lips that was quickly silenced by hers. "You look...so sexy...like this..." She barely got out as she kissed him all over, her hands tangling in his hair, toggling gently, taking as much control as she could.

And Matt just let her, he was happy for her to take the lead with whatever activity they were doing. Did he want her? Absolutely! Did he want to show her exactly how much he cared about her? Of course! Would he ever rush sex with her? Never! Especially when it would be their first time.

He didn't want to make a big deal about it, it didn't have be some big, special event or something like that, but he wanted it to be special for them, when they would be able to take their time, enjoy and learn about each other. Take their time and not have to worry about someone walking in or being called away for a call.

Laughing against her, "Now you know how I feel every time I see you..." Matt had wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her closer to him as her lips found his against, her hair falling over her shoulder.

Quickly Matt flipped them over, pinning Gabby beneath him, her hands above her head, being held down with one hand which the other explored her the skin under her shirt, the giggle coming from her lips spurring him on. They were losing themselves in each other very quickly, gabby biting down against his shoulder to stop the moan that wanted to escape, Matt's need for her growing with each other their movements.

He honestly didn't know how he stopped, how he pulled away from her touch, from her lips but he did. Matt looked down at gabby, her eyes closed with, lips swollen, cheeks flushed, she was gorgeous... "Baby we should stop...coz if not..."

As he spoke, watching her eyes slowly open, there was a sharp knock at his office door, " Casey, have you seen Dawson? There is a reporter here looking for her..." Otis spoke quickly, thankfully he hadn't decided to walk in, because at that point, he would have found Gabby with her legs wrapped around Matt's hips, both staring at each other.

At the sound of the knock, they both froze, unsure of what was going to happen next. Clearing his throat, matt tired to act normal, "No sorry Otis, try the bathroom?" He hoped that Otis would take the hint and leave. After replying with a _'thanks, I will'_ they heard him walking away, a deep sigh of relief coming from them both.

"Reporter?" Gabby looked up at Matt, she could tell by the look on his face that he wasn't surprised at what Otis had said.

They hadn't said anything to Gabby about the reporter, something that they all hoped that she wouldn't find out about and so as they were laying against his bed, Gabby's face changed. She didn't like the fact that Matt had kept this from her. After a moment of shocked, Gabby pushed Matt off her, rolling off the bed, she went directly to Boden's office, Matt in toe.

Standing in the middle of the office, Gabby found Kelly already there, arms behind his back, his face flat and sad. It was clear that something was going on between the men, something that involved Gabby. "Kelly…Kelly what is going on?" She was freaking out a little bit, her hands reaching out for one of her closest friends, one of the few people who she trusted.

When silence came over the three men in the room, none of them not really knowing what to say to her, not wanting to get on her bad side. Because when she was angry she was _not_ the person you wanted to mess with.

"Why would there be a reporter asking for me?" Gabby looked between Biden, Matt and Kelly, not really understanding what had been going on. In truth, they hadn't actually told her that the accident and rescue had not only been caught on camera but also broadcast live, they didn't have the heart. They both knew she would have been embarrassed about it all but they also didn't want her to have to worry about it all.

Matt could tell she was starting to freak out, she could tell there was something they weren't telling her. "Matt...please..." she knew he would cave, gabby could read it all over his face, he was going to cave the minute she turned to him.

With a quick glance to Kelly, Matt signed, rubbing his neck. "When we were at the call...the one where you...anyway, there was a camera crew filming about the drugs and the shooting. They were reporting live when we got there...they caught everything on camera. You getting kicked into the lake, Kelly rescuing you and ambo taking you away."

Gabby looked horrified, it had been broadcast? How had she not known this? "There is more..." this struck her, what else could he have to tell her?! "...They worked out who you were, I don't know how but they were able to name you and so they have been here since the shift after the accident. They've wanted to talk to you. They've ask how you are and when you'll be back..." Matt looked away from her, he could tell she was angry, angry that they had kept this from her.

She was just angry and so quickly Gabby turned on her heals and stormed back through the office door, leaving Matt and Kelly staring at Boden.

"You look after her ok." Was all Boden said as he looked over to Kelly and Matt who both shared a look before following out the door. Matt's only intention was to find Gabby immediately.

He checked the usual places she might be but when he didn't find her, he knew she would have tried to isolate herself. Standing in front of that closed door he knew she was there, the slip on the door covering 'men' and only showing 'woman'. Something the girls would do when they were in the showers. He knew she was in there, locking out the world as only Shay would be able to enter. But he didn't care. She wasn't in the shower or getting changed.

"Gabby?" Matt called out as he came into the bathroom, wondering what sort of reaction he would get from where. The look on her face in Chief's office was enough to break his heart, she looked so angry and betrayed. "Gabby?" He tried again, not knowing if she was actually in there. He didn't get much of a reply, just a sniff and some movement from the far end of the long hallway, the showers lined the walls. Step by step he slowly made his way to the last shower stall, finding the curtain closed, he knew she was in there.

Reaching out, Matt moved the closed curtain to find Gabby sitting against the side of the stall, her legs against her chest and her hands covering her face. Matt sat back against his heals, resting there while he watched her, not sure if she wanted him near her or if she wanted him to leave.

Silence passed between them, Matt not sure what to say and Gabby just trying to understand. After a while she spoke softly, "You know…I have always hated photos of myself…" She finally looked up at him; her eyes were red from how upset she was. She laughed, "You really mustn't understand why this bothers me so much do you?" She looked at him, trying to get an understanding of what he was thinking.

Matt moved to sit by her side, they were not touching but he was close enough that if she wanted to, she could reach out for him. "No, I understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes to have their face broadcast on TV. And I also know how fiercely protective you are, on and off the job, so today was not a good day. If it makes you feel any better, the department is ripping a new one into the reporter…"

"How the hell could you have _not_ told me Matt?" This was the reaction he was expecting. Gabby stood suddenly, her face angry. "Jesus Matt, I'm not breakable that you couldn't have told me. What did you expect was going to happen when I found out?"

But Matt stood instantly as well, his hands resting against her shoulder's to try and stop her from pacing, a murderess look in her eyes as he stood in front of her. "I'm sorry…just after you were in the hospital I knew that it wasn't something you wanted to relive so we talked about it. We thought it would be best if you didn't know."

Oh was that not the right thing to say to her.

Narrowing her eyes, Gabby's voice lowered, "Who is we?" Each word came out slowly, deadly.

Swallowing deeply, Matt thought for a moment. He was already digging himself into a hole, he just didn't want to put anyone else in the firing line.

"Matt…who else made this decision?" But Gabby already had an idea who, she just wanted to hear it from him.

Dropping his hands to his sides, Matt sighed, "Antonio, Severide and I talked about it after we first saw the first segment on the news. We didn't want to upset you." But she didn't need to hear anymore. Taking a step back from him, Gabby turned and walked away, needing to clear her head.

* * *

"I thought we talked about this Kelly. How the hell do you still think it's ok to make decisions about my life?"

It wasn't hard for Gabby to find Kelly, he was where he always was and so it was easy. There he sat, leaning back in his green chair, cards sitting in his hands while Capp and the rest of squad chatted about something stupid. At the sound of her voice, the whole table looked up, shocked and confused.

"Gabs I don't…" but there was no point denying it, Kelly knew she had been told that it was them that decided not to tell her. Standing slowly, he inclined his head towards the front doors, needing to talk to her without the ears of the squad listening in. Once they were out of earshot, he spoke, "I'm sorry ok, but I thought that after everything that has happened, it would be worse if you knew."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Gabby was not happy. "You and Matt and my brother have no right to make those decisions for me Kelly. You have no right…"

But Kelly stopped her, "Now you listen to me Gabby. I had just pulled you, unconscious, from the freezing water. Casey was beside himself and Antonio was a mess at the hospital. Do not stand there and talk to me like we had no right. I know you broke down to Antonio your first night at home and we thought it would be best to not add anymore stress to you."

He had taken a step forward, not appreciating how she was speaking to him, they were trying to help her out and they didn't deserve this reaction. "I'm sorry you're angry but you will just have to get over it. Besides, Casey wanted to tell you about it but we said to just leave it." Silence came over them as Gabby and Kelly eyed each other off.

It wasn't unusual for the two of them to stand off each other like this, each wanting to be what is best for the other person, each knowing each other longer than most had realised.

"Gabby…look…" Kelly dropped his head, "Be pissed me and be pissed with Antonio but cut Casey some slack ok…he was really scared when you were in hospital." Kelly just shook his head as passed by Gabby, heading back to the Squad table.

Turning Gabby followed Kelly with her eyes, narrowed as she thought over what he had said. She knew Matt had been worried about her, she had seen it when he was in the hospital with her and when they had been spending time together.

Looking up to the double doors as they opened suddenly, Gabby found herself look at Matt. He looked sad and tired a look he carried as he looked up at Gabby, a small smile coming to his face before he dropped his head, moving behind Truck, needing to take something from the front seat.

Glancing behind her, Gabby slowly made her way over to Matt, thankful that they were out of the view of everyone else in the house. Coming to stand behind him, she waited for a moment, standing behind his back before she spoke, "Hey."

Matt jumped a little at her voice, not expecting her to be behind him, let alone talking to him. Turning suddenly, Matt smiled, "Geez Gabs, you scared the crap out of me." He laughed, closing the passenger side door.

Smiling shyly, Gabby tucked a small piece of hair behind her ear, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you…" Ducking her head a little Gabby wasn't sure what to say, she wanted to apologise but she didn't know if that was going to be enough. So slowly she took a step forward, reaching up she placed her lips against his gently, their eyes locked together as she did so, Matt shocked that she was kissing him in the middle of the apparatus floor.

"Gabby…" He whispered against her lips, smiling as she pulled away.

"I'm sorry Matt…" But he shook his head, pulling her into his arms, wrapping her arms around her tightly, pressing a kiss against her forehead, whispering against her, " _don't apologise…"_

* * *

Gabby sat on Matt's bed in his office, her legs up to her chest, her head resting against her knees. She looked sad and angry. Matt sat by her side, his hands resting against hers, trying to just be there for her as she processed what was happening.

Her voice was soft, like she didn't want to believe even what she was saying. With tears in her eyes, she spoke, Matt sighing deeply as he watched his girlfriend fall apart a little.

"They are talking about pressing charges…"

 _Today had been a nightmare. It was the first call after their lunch and it was all go from the minute they got there._

" _Casey! I need her out…now!" Gabby looked towards Matt as he continued to try to remove the door from the car. There had been a major accident in one of the worse intersections within the city. Someone had run through a red light, slamming right into the side of the car going the opposite way._

 _A mother and daughter were in the car, the mother unconscious in the front seat but she was easy to get to, ambulance 18 had already taken her to the hospital, it was the daughter that Gabby worried about. She was no more than 10 years old, in and out on consciousness as she tried to talk to Gabby._

 _As they had arrived at the scene, Matt had helped Gabby into the back of the car through the broken back window, she had to assess the girl but wasn't able to do that properly from the outside. She was struggling to breath, a small trail of blood coming from the corner of her mouth, they had to get her out, Gabby knew she was in trouble._

" _Come on Matt…"_

 _But Matt just nodded, he knew they had to move quick but the damage was severe to the side of the car and the hinges wouldn't pop the way they needed them to. "Trying Dawson…" He said off handed, he understood the severity in Gabby's voice, the little girl was not going to last much longer._

 _Finally the doors popped off their hinges, allowing Matt to guide in a backboard and the little girl to be removed from the car. She was unconscious, Gabby trying her best to find a pulse._

 _In the background of the accident, the reporter from the firehouse had made her way to the scene, slipping past the police that had come to the scene. No one noticed them filming, no one noticed them getting closer to the car as Gabby stepped out of it, a helping hand from Matt as she went._

" _Gabriella can you tell us about the rescue? Is this a usual day in the life the CPD? Do you think she is going to make it?" The reporter behind Gabby started asking questions, she wasn't in her face but she was close enough that all Gabby could hear in ear was the sound of the woman's voice. Ignoring the woman as she stood there, Gabby called out, "Matt stop!" Suddenly the gurney stopped, Gabby's fingers going to the little girls side and for a moment she was quiet. "Shit, she has a broken rib…"_

 _Gabby then pulled out her stethoscope and placed it against the girl's side, shaking her head, "It's punctured her lung…we need to move. Casey I need you in the back…Shay get us to Med…and fast!" She thought she might need Matt's strength in case something went wrong in the back of the ambo. With a collective nod they began to move again, this time faster._

" _Gabriella, can you give us a comment?" As they loaded the girl into the back of the ambo, the reporter placed her phone at Gabby's face, trying to get her to say something. Just as Matt reached out his hand to help Gabby into the back of ambo, Gabby turned to the reporter, reached for her phone and threw it against the floor._

" _Have some respect." Was all she said as she took Matt's hand, slamming the doors behind her, Shay speeding off towards Med._

 _Looking around the reporter watched as a few of 51, mainly Otis and Cruz, snickered at what had just happened. Gabriella was a hot head, there was no doubt about that, and this woman was really getting on her nerves. Chief however sighed; he knew something like this was going to happen, he was just really hoping it wasn't going to be in public with a camera on them. Shaking his head, he barked into this radio for the rest of 51 to continue with their clean up of the accident scene._

* * *

" _I can't believe I missed it!" Shay sighed as she stood next to Gabby who was filling in her paper work from the accident, Matt on her other side, smirking – his girl was hot when she was angry. It was all Shay could talk about as they waited, talking about how she would have loved to have seen the report's face and also that of Chief – to which Gabby swallowed, she would have to face up to not only Boden but also the Department now. Something she had done on more than one occasion but that didn't mean she liked doing it._

 _Turning face Shay, Gabby groaned, "Well I'm sure you will see it all happen again tonight on the news, wanna go and get the ambo ready while I finish up?" She really just wanted Shay to stop talking about it, at least for a little while because she knew that the minute she got back to 51 everyone would be talking about it. Nodding Shay moved away, still smiling widely._

 _Turning back to her paperwork, Gabby was ignoring the look that Gabby was giving her; the proud look he wore was starting to weird her out. "What do you want Casey?" She looked up towards him, raising her eyebrow, she waited._

" _Nothing…just looking at my badass girl. You're hot when you're angry…" he stepped closer to her, his hands reaching out to touch her, trying to be subtle but not doing a great job at it._

 _Gabby's eyebrow only raised a little more, having Matt so close to her was turning her on but there was nothing she could do about it and he knew it. Deciding to turn the tables on him, Gabby leaned up and placed her lips against his gently. After a moment, she pulled away, a breath away from him still, her body pressed against him still, "You best make sure I don't get angry with you though…coz there is no point being sexy if I want nothing to do with you…"_

 _Pulling away, Gabby dropped her folder behind the desk before heading out the doors towards the waiting ambo, smirking to herself when she heard Matt clear his throat, a moment passing before she heard his footsteps following her out. Gabby loved that she had that effect on him because hell did he have the same effect on her as well._

 _The three of them had fallen into an easy conversation as they pulled up in the firehouse, laughter echoing as they all stepped out of the ambulance, stopping only when they found Chief standing at the double doors, a look on his face that told them that he meant business. Gabby swallowed, she hadn't even seen the chief look like that and she had never been on his bad side so this was new to her, worried that this would be more than what she was expecting._

" _My office…" He turned, heading straight back inside, the nosiness of the rest of the house prominent when they followed, finding them all in the common room watching the chief, suddenly turning away when they say Gabby walk passed._

 _Matt felt bad for her, he didn't like that they kept trying to get to her, trying to get in her face with questions, no matter how many times they were told to speak to the Department Rep._

Gabby followed the Chief towards his office, he looked pissed, everyone could tell that but Gabby could feel it. She could feel the anger coming off of him as she walked, step by step behind him. Stepping into his office, Gabby stood in front of his desk, hands behind her back, head down. She was waiting for the explosion and considering how the slammed behind her, it was bound to be huge.

Thinking it was best to try and get on the front food Gabby spoke quickly, "Chief, please let me explain, the reporter, she-"

"How are you?"

The chief's voice stopped her in her tracks, trying to understand what he had just said to her. Looking up she found him looked directly at her, leaning back in his chair, a soft look on his face. "I said…how are you?" His voice was soft, nothing like she was expecting, nothing like she would have thought and she just wondered if he was just toying with her or not.

But he slowly leaned forward, motioning for her to sit down, "How are you feeling Gabriella. After everything that has happened and today, how are you feeling?"

Taking the seat that was offered to her, Gabby relaxed a little, something was telling her that this wasn't going to be the conversation she had originally expected. "Honestly Chief, I'm doing alright. I'm really happy to be back. I feel fine and just want to be able to put this all behind me." She was keen to move on from what had happened, tired of people looking over her, asking if she was ok and how she was holing up.

Sighing, she sat back a little further, "I'm sorry about before Chief, she just…she was asking about the kid and I was trying to work…she just-"But Boden started to smile, looking back at Gabby. Raising her eyebrow, she became silent.

"Gabby, we have spoken to the Department about the reporter coming by, she had already tried to stop Casey on more than one occasion, she was told that if she had any questions to go through the department. She made the decision to follow after the ambo and come up to you while you were treating the child. Was throwing her phone to the ground the best decision? No of course not, but neither was trying to stop you from doing your job."

He leaned forward, "I heard what she said to you as you tried to treat the child and as your friend I couldn't have been happier for you to have done what you did. As your chief however…"

Gabby expected this, no matter how this conversation was going, she expected something to come from it. "As your chief I will have to make a report. You damaged property and made the department look bad. I wouldn't be surprised if someone at that scene had a camera and has the whole thing recorded. I will however inform the department and we will go from there. It might be worse seeing if anyone else heard what she was asking you."

Standing slowly, Gabby nodded, "Thanks Chief." Before turning from the office and heading straight back to the common room. She knew of two people who could back up her side of the story and she was going to make sure that they had their stories straight.

Stepping into the common room, Gabby found Herman, Otis and Cruz standing by the doors, looking through them to see if they could see or hear something that had been happening in Chief's office but considering Gabby had gone around through the bathrooms back to the common room, they

wouldn't have been able to see or hear anything. She was about to call out when her eyes connected with Matt's a smirk coming to his face.

Silently he stood from his chair at the head of the table, tiptoeing around to stand behind the three men, before he leaned his head in close to them, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" putting on a deep voice, Matt made all three men jump, Cruz crying out in shock and a few swear words being dropped by all men.

The rest of the common room broke into laughter, Matt with a wide smile on his face, Herman reaching out to try and grab for him.

Gabby looked out at Chief Hatcher as he walked into the common room, his hands around an envelope that she could only assume was for her. She'd been sitting on the couch, having a laugh with Matt and Otis, Matt to her right, sitting a little but closer than he should but no one had noticed, at least they hadn't said anything about it.

Hatcher nodded towards the direction of Boden's office but considering Boden was standing by the coffee pot behind her, she shook her head, "You can tell me here…" The rest of the house was bound to find out what her punishment was in the end so he may as well tell her in front of them all.

Hatcher narrowed his eyes at her, he had had a few run in's with Gabriella Dawson and her attitude and he wasn't surprised to have seen her name come across his desk once again. He quickly shot a glance to Boden, who stood there with a coffee mug to his lips, waiting to see what would happen. Sighing, Hatcher moved close to Gabby, who had subconsciously leaned a little closer to Matt, "Dawson, needless to say that when I saw your name come across my desk was very interested in reviewing the situation straight away."

God she hated this guy, he always had something against her, probably had something to do with her not caring what he had to say. "So in saying that, you have been suspended for a week for conduct unbecoming." The moment the words left his mouth the whole house stood, carrying out that it was unfair and ridiculous but Hatcher kept going. "This is not how we want people to view the department and let's just say that we are damage control at the moment because of your stunt as someone had a camera."

He handed her the envelope, slowly Gabby reaching for it as she eyed him, in the background she could hear Cruz cursing about how shit this was for her. "Finish out the shift and you are suspended without pay until the following Monday." Quickly he turned from her, leaving Gabby in a state of shock, she couldn't believe she had been given a week's worth of suspension – without pay – because of what had happened. This was insane.

"You ok?" It was Matt talking in her ear; he had noticed that she had become silent, a glazed look coming over her face. The problem for Gabby was not the suspension but that 'without pay'. A week off would mean she would miss out on three shifts, and for something in their line of work, three shifts worth of pay can make off the difference in the world.

Standing suddenly Gabby made her way towards Boden's office, she had every intention to give Hatcher a piece of her mind, vaguely aware of the footsteps coming behind her, Matt trying to stop her from doing something stupid. Throwing open the office door, Gabby was fuming. "Dawson…" Boden tried to warn her, but she was past that…what was Hatcher going to do? Give her another week of suspension.

"This is such bullshit. I worked my ass to save that little girl; I picked up the punctured lung even with the mess that was going on around us. The reporter was stopping me from doing my job and I'm the one who gets punished? So much for the department having my back." She could feel Matt standing closer to her, trying to get her to calm down, his hand had reached out for her arm, Gabby slipping out of it instantly.

Hatcher stepped forward, "What you did was beyond necessary. The reporter is thinking about pressing charges. With your track record you would be out of a job. Now back off before I make this suspension effective immediately." He had stepped up to her, both going toe to toe.

"Gabs…" Matt tried again, reaching out once more he was able to get her attention, he watched as she head dropped slightly, as if acknowledging that he was there. With a deep breath and a quick glance over Hatcher's shoulder to Boden, she followed Matt from the office, her anger coming off her in waves as they continued on to Matt's office.

Hatcher groaned, turning to face Boden who was still standing behind his desk. "That girl is an embarrassment to the department – say the world Wallace and she is gone."

Boden said nothing but watched Hatcher with a stoic face, Gabriella Dawson wasn't going anywhere.

* * *

 **Please review? :D**


	10. You and I

**SO! It's been a while and I am SO sorry for that, this has been a long time in the making and I hope the 9000+ words is enough to make up for the wait.**

 **Thanks to everyone who annoyed me with reviews asking for more – it kicked me up the ass to write so THANKS! This is for all of you! :D**

 **Please review!**

 **Chapter 10 – You and I**

Gabby was bored. Not just bored but bored _shitless_. Like always her body clock had woken her up at 6am, her mind expecting she would have to wake up and head into work but not today. Today was the first day of her suspension and she already hated it. She had pulled herself from her bed, deciding that she would do some house work and cleaning before hopefully being lunch time but her washing was done, her closets were rearranged and her bathroom was clean…and it was only 10am.

She really didn't like being bored and most of all she hated knowing that there was nothing she could do about it. It wasn't like she could call Shay or Matt or her brother as they all had work and she was told not to come by the firehouse while on suspension. And so there she say, on the couch, watching some stupid morning show, her hands tapping along to some imaginary music, wishing that time would go by faster than it was.

Glancing down at her phone, Gabby thought about calling Matt, she had seen him the night before, but now she just needed some form of human contact. Finding his photo in her contacts, she smiled at little at the stupid face he was pulling before clicking the number and letting it ring.

And ring.

And ring.

And ring.

It continued to ring until she heard his voice, " _Hi you've called Matthew Casey. Sorry I can't take your call right now but please leave your name, number and a short message and I will get back to you as soon as possible."_ She smiled again, it was very professional but considering he used this number for his construction business, she wasn't surprised to hear it. Sighing, she clicked the end button, not really wanting to leave him a message, she figured she might head out and get some shopping, She was going to need some food for the upcoming week but also thought it might be a good time to do some other shopping. She had been so busy with work and her family that she hadn't had time to go and she needed new bras and underwear and jeans and overall just a new pile of clothing.

Standing from the couch, Gabby changed quickly into her comfy black jeans that hugged her body nicely; showing off her legs and her ass and then slipping into a long sleep t-shirt, the rich red colour brightening against her skin. She really did love wearing this set, she was hoping one day to wear it when she was with Matt, hoping that he would think it sexy.

Slipping into her flat boots, Gabby grabbed her keys, phone and bag before swinging open the front door, a shock coming to her face as she found herself standing face to face with Matthew Casey. Her mouth fell open slightly for a moment, trying to comprehend what was going on and why he was standing on her front steps, dressed in jeans, a grey t-shirt and black jacket. Damn he looked good.

Matt mirrored her shocked looked, his hand raised slightly, showing he had every intention of knocking on her door, only to have her open it before he could. He took her all in, her long hair in girls down her shoulders, the red top and black jeans hugging her nicely. "Damn Gabs, you looked amazing…" Was all he could say, surprised he could even get the words out.

But Gabby still wasn't sure what was happening. "Matt…what are you doing here? Why aren't you working?" She hadn't even heard the compliment he had given her. Why was he standing in front of her? He should have been at work, not standing in front of her.

Dropping his hand, Matt moved it to rub the back of his neck suddenly become a little embarrassed. "Ah…well, I had some furlough saved up and thought it was a good time to take it…" He smiled back at her, watching as she blushed a little. "I thought we could spend some time together this week. Away from the firehouse and the stress of work…" He had really thought this through.

Finally she smiled, "Oh, I would love that but you really didn't have to. I was just going to get some stuff done and do some shopping." She stepped out of the doorway, letting the door close and lock behind her.

Matt's face brightened a little, "I don't mind, I was hoping you would be up for something this week anyway. Mind if I tag along?" He was hopeful she didn't mind. What if she needed some alone time? What if she didn't want him there? What if-

"If you don't mind doing some shopping I would love for you to come." Gabby ducked her head for a moment, before reaching out for him, her hand taking his before stepping forward, letting her lips touch his, happy to be able to kiss him in public without being worried someone from the house would find out. Slowly their lips moved together as his hands slipped around her back, pulling her close to him so their chests were flush, his free hand tangling in her hair as they stood on her front porch.

* * *

Matt pulled Gabby closer into his side, seeking out her warmth as they walked down the Mile. Winter had really hit this year and with only three weeks to go until Christmas, the cold has really set in. Gabby had long since slipped her hand into his as they walked, their jackets pulled tightly around their bodies and their scarves around their necks in a desperate attempt to block out some of the cold air. "My god it's cold out!" She cried as she snuggled further into Matt's side, using it as an excuse to get closer to him.

Laughing, Matt placed a kiss against the side of her head, "You know…we could have stayed inside today…" sending her a sideways smirk, Matt received a slap to the stomach instead, a silent warning that he needed to watch himself.

"But I have shopping to do and you said you would come with me. You're not regretting this are you?" Gabby kept walking, not realising that Matt had slowed down, their hands extending in between them as the distance grew, only to have Matt pull her back into him, Gabby almost stumbling backwards at the force.

Crushing Gabby against his chest, Matt let his free hand brush against her cold face, his eyes searching hers. "Never…" he whispered, before placing his lips against hers gently. They stood there for a moment, drinking each other in before Gabby pulled away, a bright smile on her face.

"I like being able to kiss you whenever I want…it's nice…" She blushed, looking away for a moment before she looked back at him, finding Matt staring at her with a wide smile on his face. "What?" She was confused with why he was looking at her the way he was.

"Nothing…" He smiled back, "You know…it is something we could do all the time…we could tell everyone…" He was unsure about what she would think about telling their friends. It wasn't that she was embarrassed or anything like that but she liked having this between just them, stealing glances and little touches, it turned her on but at the same time, being able to wrap her arms around his neck and hold him against her was just as tempting. "I want the world to know you are my girl…but we can wait-"

But she silenced him with her lips on his, stopping any words that would have come out. You're my girl. She had caved the minute he had said that, something about those words sparked something inside of her. "We will tell them next at Molly's…or we could see how long it takes them to work it…" She was wearing that cheeky smile that got him to do anything she wanted.

Groaning, Matt nodded, leaning forward again, he kissed her deeply, loving the idea of telling their friends that they were together.

Moving on from where they were, Gabby slipped her hand into his back pocket, warming herself as well as keeping him close, "Thank you for taking the week off Matt. You really didn't have to but this will be fun. Like a little holiday…" She really was trying to see the brighter side of her suspension, which was much easier now that Matt was with her, now that she wasn't alone.

But Matt shrugged against her, "Its fine baby. I needed to take leave anyway. I was just hoping that you wouldn't find it too much, ya know." But she shook her head as she placed his against his shoulder, whispering an "I love it" before silence took over them as they walked.

Stepping inside the first shop on the Mile, Gabby smiled, she loved this place, it made her feel like a kid again. "You know I should have guessed you would bring me in here…" Matt laughed as he looked around at all the Disney toys lining the shelves. Gabby had always told him how much she loved Disney.

Turning Gabby poked her tongue out at him, "Ha ha, very funny. I have to buy something for my niece for Christmas and she is only 6 so Disney it is!" Gabby moved towards the Belle toys, knowing Eva would love to have something that was related to Beauty and the Beast. Every time Gabby babysat the kids, they would sit and watch it together.

Matt smiled at the thought of Gabby with her niece and nephew. He knew how much she loved those kids, always talking about them, he looked forward to the day that he would be able to meet them in person. Looking around he found a few families, kids getting excited about their favourite characters, he also found a few girlfriends with their boyfriends, picking out little presents or just having a laugh.

As he looked around, his eyes fell on a medium sized white Winnie the Pooh bear. He wore a blue shirt with a hood and had blue paws. A Christmas Bear, a beautiful, soft bear that any little kid would have to have. Any little kid that reminded him of Violet – his seven-year-old niece. The seven-year-old niece he hadn't seen in over two years.

Sighing he picked it up, he wanted to buy it for her but it wasn't like he would have a chance to give it to her, his sister Christie wouldn't let him see her and it's not like he could just drop by. But at the same time, he missed his niece and his sister, wishing that he was still close with them both.

Placing the bear back down, he looked around for Gabby, but instead he found himself being surrounded by the arms of a child, wrapped tightly around his lower legs, the little girls face staring up at him with a bright smile. "Hi Uncle Matt!"

"Violet! How many times do I have to tell you not to run off?" Then he heard his sister's voice calling out to her daughter as she rushed over, clearly not realising it was Matt. "I'm so sorry, I don't know…Oh hi Matt…" Slowly she pulled Violet from his side, bringing her back to her own, she looked back at her younger brother.

Matt felt a little sad that Christie had pulled Violet away from him, it wasn't like he was a freak, he hadn't even had the chance to say hello to her. "Hey Christie. How are you? And how are you kiddo? You've grown so much!" He really couldn't believe how much she had grown in the two years he had seen her. Again it only took a moment for Violet to have pulled away from her mother and her arms going around Matt again, this time Matt crouched down and let her hug his neck, his around going around her as well.

"I've missed you so much Uncle Matt." She whispered in his ear, loud enough that Christie had heard her though.

Matt looked up at Christie as he held Violet, oh how he had missed her. He thought about her everyday. "I miss you too kiddo." He hugged her a little more tightly, not wanting to let go. "It was so good to see you again Violet." Matt spoke as he pulled away, Violet moving back towards her mother, his attention going to Christie now, "and you too Chris, it's been too long…" He didn't really know what else to say, he didn't want to make it awkward, but he missed his sister.

"Yeah it has…We should be heading off, Violet has a birthday party we need to get to…" She motioned to the door to the shop, hoping that it didn't seem to suspicious that she was trying to leave.

"Oh no, go ahead. Have fun kiddo." With one last hug, Violet and Christie made their way out of the shop, leaving Matt standing their, a pain in his heart that he had hoped he could forget. It wasn't until he saw Gabby coming his way did he smile again, she made his heart swell, the sight of her, so happy and excited to be in that shop, she really did look like a kid in a candy store. Taking her hand, they chatted while moving towards the counter, Gabby telling him all about her niece and nephew, Matt happy to listen along.

* * *

"So ah…what are your plans for Christmas?" They had walked into their second shop when Gabby had asked the question, something she had been debating about for a while. Should she ask or would it be too early in their relationship? They hadn't really been dating all that long, granted they had been very close friends before this, and also ignoring the fact that Matt knew Antonio very well, they hadn't actually talked about meeting each other's family.

Matt shrugged as he reached for a hoody that had caught his attention, "Probably nothing. I usually take up an extra shift, let someone else be home with their family." Gabby stopped as he spoke, her heart breaking a little at his words, he sounded so sad about that statement, like something was bothering him. Glancing back at Gabby, he laughed a little, trying to ease her, "Don't worry. It's not like I have a whole lot of family around anyway. I don't remember the last time I saw my sister…or my niece."

The last part of his statement was quiet, granted he had seen them today, it had only made the though of the last time they had actually spent time together worse. It had been so long he couldn't even remember the last time they had been together in the same room for more than 15 minutes and didn't include their mother or a courthouse.

"Hey you ok? You seem different since the Disney shop…" She worried that something was wrong; she could tell his demeanour had changed since they left that show and she hoped that she hadn't done something to upset him.

He wanted to say yes, wanted to tell her everything was ok but he also knew that she could read him like an open book. Sighing he turned to her, taking her in his arms. "I saw my sister and niece just before at the Disney shop and it just got me thinking to the last time we spent any time as a family together. I actually don't even remember it to be honest with you. That's why I work on Christmas, to keep myself busy and to let someone else have time with their family."

Moving over to the couch, Matt and Gabby sat down, Gabby ran her hand over his hair, letting him thinking before speaking again. They snuggled closer to each other, Gabby with her legs tucked underneath her, Matt with his hand on her knee. "It's just that seeing them again today was hard. Violet has grown so much and I just feel like I have missed so much." Gabby felt bad for Matt, she hated seeing him so upset, so frustrated about his life.

Leaning over, she placed a kiss against his cheek, "Hey, there is always time. Nothing is ever unfixable…" Feeling him nod against her cheek, Gabby smiled, "You know…you can always come to my family for Christmas. Might be fun."

Matt turned his head towards Gabby, shocked at what she had said, but he thought about it for a moment. He knew Antonio already, so meeting the brother wouldn't be an issue but meeting the rest of the family. "I'm not trying to rush anything but if you're up for it. You are always welcome."

Gabby really did want him to come but she understood if he felt like it was too soon. Matt smiled, "Can I think about it?" A nod in return was all he needed, leaning over he pressed his lips against hers, letting his tongue brush against her bottom lip; Gabby groaning at the contact, granting him the access they both searched for.

It didn't take long before Matt was pushing Gabby against the couch, his body resting against hers, their hands tangled against each other, Matt letting his lips trail down Gabby's neck, attacking a small piece of skin he found, sending shockwaves through her nervous system.

Slowly Matt pulled away, looking down at Gabby, her lips bright red and her cheeks blushing, "You look beautiful…" He wanted her and she wanted him but this was not the way to do it. Here on her couch, this was not how they were going to do it.

Gabby could sense something was off, she could feel that something was different about him in that moment, but she didn't want to push. She knew he was upset about his family and she knew that now was not the right time for this. Leaning up, Gabby placed her lips against his once more. Letting him rest against her as they fell into comfortable silence.

* * *

His hands were driving her crazy, the softness of his touch, the kindness of each stroke against her hair, she was beginning to become desperate to know what those hands felt like against the rest of her skin. Actually she was becoming desperate to know what _his_ skin felt like against hers. They had been curled up on her couch for almost two hours, just relaxing together after their day, watching some crap on TV that she wasn't even sure what it was anymore.

Gabby was curled into his side, her head resting against his chest with her feet up on the side of the couch, the blanket tucked tightly around her. While Matt had his arm resting on the back of the couch, his hand massaging her head gently, his feet propped up against the coffee table. They looked comfortable, like they had been doing this for years.

It was getting close to midnight and they hadn't broached the subject of him going home but Gabby wanted him to stay, she wanted to cuddle against him during the night and she wanted to wake up next to him the next morning. As if sensing what she was thinking, Matt spoke quietly, "It's getting late. I should get going…" It was almost like a question though more than a statement, like he was waiting for her to stop him, to ask him to stay.

In truth, Matt didn't want to leave, he wanted to stay where he was forever but he also didn't want to push Gabby. He knew it had been a while for her but not just that, he didn't want to move too fast in their relationship. They had really only been together for about 3 weeks but they already knew each other inside out, their time as best friends, going out for drinks and movies and breakfast's almost allowing them to skip 'dating' as such. They had known each other for almost a year and had been close friends for almost 8 months of that time so would it be too quick if something were to happen to them?

Turning her head, Gabby looked up at Matt, studying him closely before leaning against him, her lips touching his sweetly. "You could stay…" her response was quiet, barely a whisper against his lips, almost as though she was scared to be saying what she was saying.

Matt pulled back a little, his eyes snapping open. Staying was something he wanted to do but he never expected her to actually say it to him. Moving his hand from the back of her head, Matt brushed some hair off her face, resting his hand against her cheek, searching her eyes. "Is that what you want?"

He didn't mean for it to sound so accusing, he just wanted to make sure it was something she really wanted. He watched as something crossed Gabby's face. Her forehead furrowing, her eyes harrowing at him and her lips parting slightly as if she was going to say something.

 _Rejection_.

He _really_ didn't mean for her to think he was questioning her. "No, no…" He pulled her closer to him, not letting her pull away like she was trying to do. "I didn't mean it like that…I just want to make sure you really want me to stay. I don't want to push you…" He hoped he was explaining himself enough that it would stop her from being so angry with him.

Gabby blinked for a moment, still staring at him. Was she questioning herself about wanting him to stay or was she just debating on what to say to him. Sighing against him, Gabby spoke, "You know. You have been my best friend of almost 6 months now and you know me better than anyone could. You can read my like an open book, even when I try to hide something from you, you know can see it. If I ask you something…you could know by now that I mean every word I say. So why are you questioning me now?" She didn't want to sound upset with him, but she was a little frustrated that he was questioning her now. He never questioned her, he never second guessed her so why now? Why was he unsure of her now?

The reason was that for the better part of that 6 months where they had become closer than most had realised, he had started to fall in love with Gabby and that scared him. It scared him because he didn't want to ruin this or scare her off. He wanted to do this right; he wanted this to last…he wanted her forever.

That's why he was questioning her now.

But he would never tell her that, not yet.

Matt bent down slightly, still keeping their lips locked, he reached for the back of her left knee, encouraging her to come closer to him, instinctively Gabby leaned closer to him, her leg wrapping around his, eliciting a groan deep from deep within his chest, he really was turning her on.

Pulling away once more, Gabby looked up at Matt with hooded eyes, her breathing heavy as she glanced past his shoulder, her eyes finding the hallway that led to her bedroom but when her eyes met Matt's again, the smirk she gave his was enough to turn him into a wild animal. Forcefully, Matt's hand found the back of her neck, pulling her roughly to him, his lips finding hers, his hands then slipping just below her ass, bringing her to rise with him, he lifted her into the air, groaning into her mouth as she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist, feeling her dress scrunch around her hips and her arms wrap around his neck.

Matt walked them both towards the bedroom, their hands and lips fighting against each other, their passion igniting with the want for each other that had been building up for longer than they had actually been together. Kicking open Gabby's bedroom door, Matt reached for the lights, never letting his lips drop from hers. As he did so, he placed her down gently on the floor, never even noticing that she had lost her shoes in the trip to the bedroom.

They stood their for a few moments, just watching each other, their chests rising and falling in sync before Matt started to move towards her, his hands gently touching her face as he placed a loving kiss on her lips, this kiss was different, it was soft and caring, full of love and emotion. Gabby's hands slipped to his shoulders pushing the jacket off his shoulders, letting it softly thump on the floor at their feet.

Slowly Matt skimmed his hands over Gabby's cheeks, resting against her back, fingering the zip of the dress she wore, waiting momentarily for permission, still wanting to allow her to say no if she wanted or needed to …not that he wanted that at all. When she reached to pull his shirt from his pants and her fingers starting on the small buttons, he took that as his sign and slowly led the zip down her back, opening her caramel skin for the world to see. He did not let it fall just yet; Matt just ran his hand up her back, feeling her muscles contract under his fingers as she flicked each button through its hole on his shirt, opening it slowly.

Feeling her pull away from him, Matt looked down a little confused, relaxing a little when she smiled back at him, Matt taking the chance to kick off his shoes at the same time as he relaxed slightly. He noticed that she was suddenly focused with his chest, her hands moving over each part of his exposed body that she could find, her eyes focused on what her hands were doing. The feeling of having her hands on his was driving him crazy, Matt inwardly groaned, dropping his head backwards and his eyes slipping closed as she let one of her hands trace his stomach, just above his pants, his muscles tensing under her touch. When he felt her hands slip to his belt his eyes snapped forward, looking at her completely now, noticing the smirk what played on her lips as she watched him, clearly acknowledging that she had felt him shudder under her touch.

Within a second she had slipped his belt through its loops, letting it hit the ground with a slight thud, her hand making their way back to his chest, over his shoulders, but under his shirt, pushing it from his body, letting it to fall to the ground. He couldn't hold back anymore, a deep growl coming from his throat at he reached for her again, pulling her roughly to him as his hands tangled in her hair, their lips meeting roughly, not wanting to hold anything back anymore.

Matt suddenly pulled away from her, moving his hands to her shoulders, letting his hands reach for her dress, pulling it down slowly, his body moving to kneel as he moved the dress to the floor, revealing her back panties and bra to him. From his kneeled position, Matt smirked up at her, loving the intent gaze she had on him, wondering what he would do next, and he didn't disappoint her. His hands slipped slowly back up her legs, planting little kisses as he travel back up her body, watching as her eyes fluttered as he did.

With each kiss he got closer and closer to her stomach, his fingers running teasingly across her panty line, her hands instinctively tangling in his hair as he placed kisses where his fingers had just been, gasps coming from her lips as he did. "Matt…" Her name whispered into the silence of the room, tugging him up roughly to bring him back to her, her lips finding his again, but this time it was her turn. She took his bottom lip in her teeth, holding on gently as she popped the button his jeans, the zip following quickly as her fingers brushed against his desire for, another groan escaping his lips as she did so.

The next thing he knew was Gabby had his pants falling from his hips, leaving them both standing on their underwear, neither embarrassed nor insecure of their reaction to each other. He'd lifted her again, her feet falling from the dress that had pool at her feet, him stepping out of his jeans as he reached the bed, resting her down gently. This time their lips hadn't touched, their eyes too focused on each other as they moved, their stare never wavering, even when her back touched the bed. Once she was there, Gabby scooted backwards, giving him more room on the bed, watching intently as he reached back pulling his socks from his feet before kissing her legs once more, starting on once side and making his way back up.

It was slow and painful, Gabby wishing he would go faster but he wouldn't Matt wanted to savour this moment forever and Lord knows he had thought about it for longer than he cared to admit. It didn't take long before he reached his destination, placing kisses over her panties, feeling her shudder against him as he did, her hands gripping the bed sheets the minute he allowed his finger to again trace where his lips had been, this time coming to the apex of her legs though. Relishing in just how much she wanted him by what he found there, the evidence of her desire already showing.

As his fingers went to move the material he found between her legs, her hand suddenly found his, stopping his movement and he looked up, a little shocked, a little confused and a little worried. Maybe she had changed her mind. But the look in her eyes softened his worry. She was embarrassed, she had pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, her eyes creasing slightly in the way that he knew meant that she was worried or embarrassed. "Oh Gabby …" Her name slipped from his lips as he brought her hand to his lips, placing a gently kiss on her fingers.

"… You are the most beautiful person I have ever met …" His words pleading her to believe him as he spoke them and they seemed to work as she let his hand go, rubbing it against his cheek, a small smile finding her lips. He moved back to his previous position, his fingers curling into the sides of her panties, his eyes never leaving hers as he moved them from her hips, watching as she swallowed deeply as he did. Still trusting every movement he made.

As his fingers travelled down her legs, the material being pulled away as he did so, Matt watched as her cheeks blushed bright red, her bottom lip bring brought into her mouth, a sign of embarrassment he wished she didn't show. Once he reached her feet he discarded the piece of clothing, dropping them to the growing pile of clothes that had found their way to the floor. Matt look back up at her once more, this time noticing that her hands had come to cover herself, an unreadable look on her face. Sighing to himself, Matt started to place gentle kisses on her legs, tracing his way back up to her, much like he had done earlier but this time it was completely different, she was completely bare to him and it was driving him crazy. His eyes were locked with hers, his fingers playing with the skin he found on the inside of her thigh, smirking to himself when he saw her eyes slightly flutter at the contact.

It wasn't long before Matt found where he wanted to be, placing kisses on the inside of her thigh, replacing where his fingers had just been, a gently groan escaped from Gabby's lips as he did so, her eyes closing once more but this time, both her hands came to meet his face, rubbing against his cheeks before tangling into his hair possessively. She wasn't forcing anything but she needed to know he was real and that he was really there with her and with the next kiss, her world collapsed. Matt found where he wanted to be, his lips attaching to her as her back arched in pleasure. It had been a long time for both of them, so to have the other so close they both knew it wouldn't take long before the were hitting the same ceiling. As Matt leaned in further to better his angle that he had, Gabby groaned once more, feeling him pushing against her leg as he lay on her, his want for her evidence that she still couldn't bring herself to believe.

Wanting to hear more of her noises, Matt let his tongue dart out and enter her, relishing in the iron like grip she had suddenly had in his hair, holding him where she wanted him as he continue to make her feel the most amount of pleasure she thought possible causing him to smile again her, his right hand coming up to join his mouth before his finger also joined his tongue. There was a deep growl from the top of the bed, his name slipping from her lips lustfully as he continue his movements, his finger moving in time with his tongue, feeling her get wetter by the second and himself get harder by the second. Within in moments, Matt could feel Gabby tighten around his finger, slipping another inside of her before moving them faster and harder with every sharp breath she took, his lips attaching to her bundle of nerves once again with more pressure this time, wanting to push her over the edge. It didn't take long, with the combination of his fingers and his lips, before her grip on his hair tightened beyond reason, her right leg raising to become bent against his side, Matt feeling her toes curl against his skin, she was so close and he was making her feel that way.

With one last moan, Gabby let his name slip from her lips, a cry of pleasure mixed in as her head tipped back, her back arched against the mattress and her left hand tangled in the bed sheets, Matt's movements pushing her over the edge as she was consumed by the pleasure. Slowly his movement, Matt looked up at Gabby, her eyes focused solely on him, a hooded glaze over her eyes as she smiled lazily at him, her fingers caressing his cheek. Matt smiled again, proud of himself for what he was able to make happen, proud that he had been able to make her feel such pleasure but also proud that he had been the one to do it for her.

Kissing her once more he moved further up her body, peppering kisses on his way, his hand slipping around her back, flicking the clasp of her bra, removing it one strap at a time, his eyes never leaving hers. He watched her swallow; silence filling the room again, both too lost in each other to bother speaking, content with hearing each other breath. The moment her bra was removed, Gabby lifted her head, her lips finding his like a bee to honey, her tongue instantly tangling with his, her arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him closer to her, his body weight falling on to her pleasantly as his hands travelled over her body, tickling her sides, tangling in her hair, running over her legs.

Together they fought for dominance, they hands and mouths battling for whatever advantage over the other they could get, before Gabby slipped her mouth from his, running them over his cheek before settling on a spot behind his ear that she had been eyeing off since they had met, something about it screaming pleasure to her. And she wasn't wrong. The minute that her lips found the skin there, Matt groaned into her shoulder, his hands tightening around her body as tingles ran up his body. Taking the chance, Gabby used all her body strength, with the added slackening in his force on her to flip them both over to Gabby was laying on top of Matt, her hands travelling all over his body, a sudden rush of courage finding her.

Maybe it was the high she had just had; maybe it was the stupid look on his face when she had flipped them over or maybe it was the feeling of his want for her pushing into her stomach that drove her to kiss her way down his stomach, her tongue darting out every now and then, tasting the skin on her chest and stomach, feeling his muscles clench under her touch, shaking as she continued further down his body. When she reached the lining of his boxes, Gabby smiled to herself as she darted her tongue above the material, feeling him shiver and hearing the groan that he let out as she did so.

His hands reached for her, resting gently on her shoulders as her reached for his boxers, pulling them from his body as he sat up on his elbows to watch ever movement she made, the cheeky smile on her face sending a rush of desire through his body as she reached his feet, much like he had done to her earlier, Gabby let his boxers fall to the floor by the end of the bed, the pile of their clothes now complete. Gabby made her way back up to him, raising an eyebrow when she watched him gloriously waiting for her.

She had always imagined that he would look like under those clothes, wanting someone, and now she knew and she was pleasantly shocked at what he had. Reaching for his waiting hands, Gabby tangled their fingers together as her kissed the inside of this thigh, a sharp intake of breathe meeting her movement, his hand tightening around hers. Before Matt even had time to think, Gabby took him in her mouth, the warmth sending shivers down his spine as his arms collapsed under him, his body hitting the bed with a thump as her tongue teased him, from base to tip she wanted all of him.

With each movement she made, Matt felt himself coming closer to the edge but he found himself having enough self-control not to fall over that edge too quickly. It had been a long time for him as well, true that he had had many chances to be with someone, even the chance of being in a relationship with a person but there was always something he was missing, something he wanted but was not able to put his finger on ... Now this is what he wanted, someone he hadn't met just yet - Gabby. He wanted Gabby and now here they were, laying naked on her bed as she played with him, her head moving up and down, him sliding in and out of her mouth like silk through fingertips. Instinctively Matt let out a deep growl, his free hand tangling in her hair as she moved, his head tipping back at the same time.

Something suddenly came over Matt and his eyes snapped open, meeting hers as she looked at him, her movements continuing as she smirked, the look in her eyes enough to distract him long enough to think straight. Tugging on her hair, Matt pulled Gabby from him; almost roughly pulling her body back up to meet his, his lips forcefully on hers, wanting nothing more than to bury himself inside of her. Groaning in her ear Matt sighed, "Enough of that baby, tonight it's all about you …" and with that Matt flipped them back over, Gabby letting out a gently squeal and laugh as he lay back down on her, taking her earlobe into his mouth as her arms went to his shoulder blade, pulling him closer, shivering under his touch.

Within in a second, Matt had pulled away from her, reaching for the sheet that was left on the bed, the quilt forgotten on the side of the bed, having been kicked off turning their domination fight. As he pulled it up to his back Matt went to rest on her once more, this time their movements were slower, more direct as Matt ran his hand over the apex of her legs once more, feeling exactly how much she wanted him as she moaned once more, moving her legs enough for him to rest at her entrance. Hovering over her, Matt placed a gently kiss on her lips, almost as if asking for permission but also making sure she was ok and if this was what she wanted.

As she reached for him again, she nodded, running her hand over his forehead, cheek and then to the back of his neck, where she pulled him in for a deeper kiss, giving him all the permission he needed. Matt leaned forward slightly, gently groaning as he entered her and inch at a time, letting her adjust to him as he did so. Her nails bit into his back as he did, a small cry escaping her lips as he came to the hilt inside of her.

Matt always worried about Gabby, especially now, when he wanted to show her that she deserves the best in the world and he wanted to give it to her but he also knew that it had been a long for her and so he wanted to be sure that she was alright, sure that she wasn't going to freak out because she wasn't ready or because he had done something wrong. He wanted to make sure this is everything she wanted. She had told him it had been a long time, in her words it had been years and so he was hesitant, rightfully so. Pressing her lips against his, it spurred him on, the need for her taking over.

With that Matt dropped his head to hers, a searing kiss beginning as he started to move inside of her, his hip starting a slow rhythm that felt like heaven. They clutched at each other tightly, needing to feel the other as close as humanly possible, their bodies moving as one as they kissed, Matt covering Gabby's mouth long enough to swallow the moan that was resonating from her chest. As sweat built up on their bodies, Gabby raised her leg to rest against his hip, pulling him deeper inside of her, her name falling from his lips with a steady stream of moans following, her nails digging deeper as his speed grew quicker.

Dropping his head to her shoulder, Matt placed a kiss on her collar bone, not able to control himself anymore, he pulled back, bringing her with him as he sat up, somehow pulling Gabby to his lap without breaking their contact. From this position, Gabby started to move in his lap, something about the change of position giving them an even more intimate sensation, being able to look each other in the eye as they moved, which they did, neither wanting to break the stare until Gabby leaned over, her lips finding the spot behind his ear once more. He pulled her closer as she kissed him sparks shooting through his body as she moved her hips, grinding into his lap deeper.

Together they moved, each needing to be closer to the other, Matt giving all of himself as Gabby gave him her all as well. Matt pulled Gabby into a hug, shifting gently, he flipped them both over again, this time there was no control in his movements, Gabby pulled him back to her as they kissed, Matt pushing into her once more, his movements erratic, loving but so close to the edge. When Gabby's legs wrapped around his waist, Matt knew she was close, he wasn't far either but he wanted to give her everything she wanted so he picked up his speed, moving in conjunction with her breathing, the moans and little curse words slipping from her mouth made his growl, needing to hear and feel more.

Somehow, Gabby flipped them over, wanting to be on top, to give him something, but Matt wanted more, he wanted to be closer. Sitting up as he held her in his arms, Gabby wrapped her legs around his waist, Matt pulling her closer as they moved together.

Matt groaned as she ground her hips against his, electricity shooting through his body, her lips against his neck, attacking the skin she found, loving the reactions she was getting, smirking against him.

Shifting slightly, Matt was able to bring her his legs closer to him, she was on his lap, legs wrapped around his hips and , moving against him, their naked bodies grinding against each other. Pulling away from her slightly, Matt was able to look her in the eye, a darkness there that he recognised; want, desire, lust, love…everything that was reflected in his eyes no doubt. They were so close, there was no space between them.

Stopping her movements with his hands on her hips, he waited a moment, watching her swallow deeply before he slipped his hand into her hair, bringing her lips to his, kissing her passionately, a groan leaving her lips as she kissed him back.

Within the kiss, she started rocking her hips against his again, tightening the grip of her legs around him., Hhis hands slipping down her back, both spreading across the expanses of her shoulder blades, pulling her close to him as her movements became rapid and uncontrolled., She tumbleding over the edge the minute that Matt's lips found her neck, biting down playfully, her head rolling backwards, a deep moan coming from her lips as she came down from her high.

Gabby shook in Matt's his arms and he, Matt smiled as he kissed her lightly before flipping them over easily, his heart swelling at her giggle. With a wide smile, Matt rested his forehead against hers as he started to move, his hips rocking against her, her right leg hitched high against his side, bringing him close to her, bringing him deeper.

Her tightening around him was driving him crazy and , he couldn't hold back anymore. Letting out a deep growl from his lips, Matt let himself completely lose control, letting himself fall over that edge, bringing her with him once again.

Slowing his hips, Matt raised himself up on his hands, looking down at her, messy hair, face glistening with sweat, her eyes closed but her mouth slightly agape, a smile playing on her lips.

Looking down at her, he brushed away a piece of hair that had stuck to her cheek, he smiled as her eyes opened, a lazy smile finding hers. Searching her face he smiled, "Get some sleep…"

* * *

Slipping through the door to Molly's, Gabby felt Matt place his hand on her back, a smile coming to her face as he did. They had some how pulled themselves from her bed late that evening, hunger getting the better of them, although it didn't last very long, Matt's hands and lips taking control, causing her to lose focus on the food she was making...her couch the closest thing they could find as they fell against each other.

Thankfully Molly's was packed with people, almost all of 51 was there, many other cops and fire fighters from other houses but also every day people who enjoyed the atmosphere. "Can I tell them now?" Matt almost whined in her ear. He was desperate to tell their friends that they were together, deciding that tonight was as good a night as any to let their friends know.

Gabby giggled, turning to him, "Soon." She wanted them all to know but she also wanted to make him squirm. Moving away from him, she laughed again, hearing him grown behind her. She found the others from 51 easy enough, they were all seated around the middle booth, Shay and Kelly already on their way to drunk, Otis and Capp not far behind. "Hey guys!" She called over the music, a chorus of hello's coming back to her and Matt as he came behind her.

"Hey! How's life at home? Bored out of your mind yet?" Shay laughed, making room for both gabby and Matt, granted it was a little squishy, but they didn't care, it meant matt could touch her.

Falling easily into conversation, Gabby found herself being driven crazy by matt, his hand was on her back, his fingers moving against her skin, if she was going to tease him, he was going to return the favour. Not long after their first couple of drinks Herman made their way over to them. "Can I please get some help?" He looked between Gabby and Otis, knowing that Shay was already to dunk to help, before glancing back at he bar. The two girls he had helping were getting bogged down with customers.

Nodding both stood and followed him behind the bar where they began to work, finding that it was busier than they initially thought.

"So how's furlough?" Kelly leaned over to matt, smirking as he tried I hide to hide his face with his drink. "Oh come on! Don't think I don't know what your up to! What did you and Dawson do today?"

At the mention of Gabby's name, Otis, Capp and Shay stopped their conversation, looking to Matt who just shrugged, "We caught up for something to eat for lunch. That's all really..." Matt glanced over to his side, his eyes finding Gabby instantly, her smile wide and her head thrown back in laughter at some story or joke a customer had told her. She looked beautiful.

"Right...you made a move yet?" This got Matt looking toward Kelly, unsure of what to say, instead he finished the rest of his beer before standing and heading towards the bar, a quick question over his shoulder if anyone else wanted another.

Making his way to the bar, Matt waited, watching his girl as she moved around easily, pouring beers, getting other drinks, laughing with the customers and the others behind the bar. She looked so happy; so at ease. He was happy for her, after the accident and then getting suspended after only just coming back; she deserved something in her life that made her happy. He somehow caught her gaze, her smile widening even more as she came to stand opposite him, her hair in curls down her shoulders, her eyes bright and her top low...very low.

Matt hadn't noticed it until she leaned over the bar top, but she was killing him. "Hey!" She was happy to see him there, granted they had come together but she had worried he would stay hidden at the booth all night. Matt could tell she was a little tipsy, she'd had a fair amount of shots with Shay earlier before getting behind the bar, they were catching up to her.

"Hey you..." she reached out her hand to grasp his and without thinking, she leaned over the bar, his lips touching his in a way that was anything but soft, it was a way to tell him that she wanted him, that she was there and so was he.

In the background they could hear the wolf whistles and call from their friends, the ones that noticed the kiss to begin with but to make up for those who hadn't seen it, matt stood from his seat, his hand slipping into her hair as he deepened the kiss, their tongues battling against each other. Gabby was barely on her feet, thankfully she was wearing heals or else she didn't think she would have been able to reach.

Pulling away, Matt found her blushing brightly, even for someone who had very dark skin, he could see it but their smiles matched, happiness floating between them both. "Hey you..." she whispered to matt, laughing before she moved away, back to the bar and back to the customers awaiting her.

Matt stood there for a moment, watching as she went, his smile never leaving his face as he turned around, a new drink in his hand, something that he thinks that Herman may have given him as gabby had moved away. He had completely forgotten about getting drinks for the others but he didn't care. He found Shay laughing and Kelly standing with his arms in the air as if celebrating a goal being scored. Otis mimicked his stance while Capp just looked shocked.

He could hear more catcalls from the rest of 51, even from Chief, who seemed to be slightly drunk at this point. "Finally!" Falling from his lips.

Matt couldn't help the blush that came to his cheeks as he sat down, he wasn't embarrassed by the kiss, it was just now all the attention was on him, that was something he wasn't to sure about. Random regulars came up to him as he sat there, claps on the back, cheers and congratulations - all of them stating that it was about time he made a move. If you were a regular at Molly's, Matthew Casey and Gabriella Dawson was always something talked about. Their lack of relationship together and their blindness not lost on those who frequented the bar.

"Your a lucky man Casey, she's a really cutie" was the last thing he heard from the last of he people coming up towards him but as the man walked away, matt tried to see him, he didn't look like a regular, he hadn't even really seen him around at all and it would be strange for someone who didn't know them to say anything but matt shrugged it off, Otis, Capp and Shay bombarding him with questions about his newly found relationship with Gabby.

"Oh man! What a night!" Gabby sighed as she leaned her back against Matt's side, her feet resting on the bar stood next to her. She was left with Otis, Herman, Shay and Matt as everyone else had cleared out before closing time. Herman was just finishing up the last of the cleaning as they waited for him. "At least we can say that we are a hit!" She laughed, feeling Matt wrap his arm around her chest, pressing a kiss to the side of her head.

"I'm pretty sure our numbers will drop from now on though!" Shay laughed drunkenly, Herman eyeing her angrily, trying to understand why she would say something like that.

* * *

"Oh come on! Most of those guys come in here, wishing they had a chance with this one. And now that chance is gone!" She stated as she walked passed Gabby, a hand slapping against the side of Gabby's ass as she went.

"They better stay away..." Matt whispered drunkenly into Gabby ear, a little louder than he thought, Herman starting to fake gag at the loviness of them both. "Hey!" Matt pointed at him with a lazy finger, "You'd do the same if it was Cindy!" Herman couldn't fault him for that, it was true, if someone tried something with Cindy, he would make sure that person couldn't stand for a month. "Wanna go home?" This was a whisper, matt nuzzling his nose against her cheek, a sleepy yawn coming from his lips.

Gabby laughed, patting his cheek, "Sure, come on. I'll tuck you in." Before she hopped off the stood, taking matt's hand in hers as they made their way to the door, calling out a good night to their friends.

Gabby had no idea how she got Matt out to his truck or how she was even able to get him _into_ the truck but she did and it wasn't long until she was back at her apartment, Matt resting his head against the window as he watched the world go by. He was drunk, very drunk but that was ok, he had had a good night, enjoying being with his friends and his girlfriend. She wasn't concerned like she had been in the past with his drinking.

Walking him up the stairs, Gabby felt Matt rest his hands against her hips as she tried to open the door, his lips finding her neck instantly, making it very hard for her to open the door but she managed to swing the door open, spinning around in his arms, Gabby pressed her lips against his, tasting the amount of alcohol he had drunk that night. Letting herself get caught up in the kiss, Matt moaned against her before pulling away. His eyes were dark with want and booze, a lazy smile on his face. "Bed?"

Nodding, she moved towards her bedroom, Matt following her, step by step, their hands locked together. In a matter of minutes they had both changed into their sleepwear, Gabby in an oversized shirt and Matt in his boxers, they cuddled up together, sleep coming to them both as Matt whispered drunkenly into the darkness, "I don't know what I would have done without you in my life Gabby. You mean the world to me…" And with one last kiss, he let sleep take over him, Gabby curled against his chest, their noses barely touching.

Gabby wanted to scream to the world how happy she was, if that was how he spoke to her when he was drunk, she was looking forward to hearing what he had to say when he was sober. Brushing a hand against his face gently, Gabby felt him sigh against her, as content as could ever possibly be he was while he slept, a small smile playing on his lips as she touched him.

Letting her eyes drift closed, Gabby snuggled closer to Matt, listening to his heart beating as she followed him to sleep.

 **Is this enough for a review? :D**


	11. Push

**I'm not gonna apologise for how long this has taken coz that would just be pointless. It really shouldn't have taken THIS long for me to write and post and I AM SO SORRY FOR THAT! I hope this chapter makes up for the wait.**

 **A little shorter than I wanted, which really sucks coz I don't like writing short chapters but I hope you all like it.**

 **Thank you to everyone on Twitter who has badgered me about this, really, I do appreciate it! And also to those who reviewed the last chapter (even up until recently who have asked for an update) it's the kick in the ass I need to get these chapters written!**

 **Thanks to** **JSmithWSmith** **also for reading this before I posted, did very much need the extra set of eyes. Also follow her in Twitter if you don't already - she is AWESOME :D**

* * *

 **Chapter 11 – Push**

Gabby was itching to say the least; she had barely gotten to the firehouse and dressed before their first call of the day, sending her and Shay out before even role call had started. And from there they had been called out to another scene on their way back to the firehouse. She was already tired but she was more desperate to see Matt. After their evening together before going to Molly's she hadn't seen him much the next day, having already had plans with her brother and him having to finish off a construction gig, they had barely had a chance to talk let alone see each other.

And she was desperate to see him, to touch him, to kiss him and to just be near him. He had become a drug that she wasn't going to give up any time soon. But as they pulled into the driveway of the firehouse, she found that there was no one there – Truck was out – but engine and Squad was still parked in the back of the apparatus floor.

As Gabby jumped out the side of the ambo, she could hear Shay chatting away about a girl she had met at Molly's but Gabby was lost in her own thoughts, wondering how she could get a hold of Matt without anyone noticing. "Hey Dawson" Her name caught her attention as she walked into the common room, Tony having called out to her, "There is someone in the conference room for you." He motioned his head towards the side door that lead to the conference room and the bunkroom.

"Thanks Tony…" She smiled as she made her way there, wondering who could have been looking for her. Pushing open the doors Gaby stopped, the doors swinging closed behind her as she stood face to face with the man in the room.

* * *

Her hands. That's the only place she could look, the shaking, the fidgeting, the total shock Gabby was feeling right now was enough to send her out the door, never to look back again. She couldn't bring herself to look up, her eyes glued to the tiny light spot on the side of her hand, the faint blemish on her otherwise clean hands. How long had that been there for? How long had she had that spot for?

"Gabby?"

That voice, the soft, calm, sweet voice.

One that she hadn't heard in many years, one that she honestly didn't think she would ever hear again.

"Gabby?"

Oh how she wished that voice would go away. But it wouldn't…because he wouldn't. He didn't leave when she told him to, he didn't leave when she had turned her back to him and he didn't leave when she had sat down at the furthest point of the conference room, as far away from him as possible.

"I know it's been a while…how are you?"

This brought her eyes up, slowly they took in the clasped hands, the way his thump sat over the other the wrong way, trailing upwards she took in the dark blue of his shirt, how each button sat against his chest, tugging slightly only as the material stretched over his shoulders. There was the slight dip in his collarbone, the scruff around his chin and cheeks, his deep piercing green eyes.

She was taking him in, her mind remembering so much about him that she had forgotten, so much she had tried to forget and so much that she still remembered when she so desperately wanted to forget. "How am I?" Had he really just asked her that question?

Had he really just stood there, leaning casually against the table on the other side of the room, his legs crossed over each other and _asked_ her how she was? "Jason I…" but she didn't know what to say, she had no idea how she was going to reply to that question.

He moved…pushing himself away from the furthest table, Jason came to stand in front of Gabby, the table she had put between them now not doing what she had hoped.

Swallowing deeply as he stood in front of her, Gabby flinched at having him so close; her hands still tightly clasped together, her eyes narrow and cold. "You shouldn't be here Jason. You should go." She wanted to challenge him, wanted to stand up and stand toe to toe with him but she couldn't, Gabby still couldn't bring herself to move from that chair.

Jason stopped for a moment, wondering how far he could push Gabby at that moment. "I saw you, you know. On the news a few weeks back…I am so glad you're ok…" he tried to reach out for her hand, tried to touch but the sudden movement made her flinch again, jerking her hands back to her lap, her eyes narrowing even more as she watched him, almost daring him try something.

Nodding, Jason turned from Gabby, his mouth falling open as though he wanted to say something but chose not to, chose to stop the words before they fell from his mouth. Pulling open the conference room door, Jason made his way from the room, stalking down the hallways of the firehouse until he found himself in the cool air of the apparatus bay, barely a sideways glance given out to those who were seated around Squad 3's table.

* * *

Stuffing his hands into his pockets, Kelly made his way back into the firehouse, he had gone out to his car because none of the others were going to give up their phone chargers, but now he had to get back into the firehouse and to kick Cruz out of his spot on the couch as the game was about to start.

It was days like today that Kelly loved, it wasn't hot nor was it freezing, somewhere in between that just made him _feel_ happy. The sound of the house doors slamming open caught his attention, no doubt one of the boys cracking the shit because of some joke or comment, storming off like a child while the others laugh as he went.

Smiling to himself; Kelly waited to see who it was, a comment at the ready depending on the fire fighter who stormed passed him.

But it wasn't a fire fighter; the man walking by him was someone he didn't recognise, someone he hadn't seen around the firehouse before. Nodding as the man walked past him, Kelly stopped, his head cocking to the side for a moment. It wasn't often that people left the house on their own, but there was something about the back of this guy, the way he walked, the way his tucked his hands into his jacket pocket. Kelly Severide had learned to trust his gut a long time ago and usually – unless it came to woman – his gut was usually dead on.

And today wasn't any different, his gut was telling him something that he couldn't ignore. Glancing back behind him, Kelly watched the man for a moment, a deep breath coming from his lips before he turned on his heels, making his way into the common room, Kelly looked around. His eyes darting around looking for the one person he needed to see, the one person he couldn't find.

Rushing from the common room, glad that no one had noticed his movements, Kelly searched the hallway, the communication desk and down towards the toilets before he eyes landed on the dark shadow in the conference room. The top of a head that just sat there, in the far corner.

He couldn't see her face, couldn't judge her facial expressions to see what had happened but he could tell she was tense. Slowly he pushed open the heavy glass door, trying not to scare Gabby, he waited, wondering if she was going to react, if she was going to move or if she was going to look up at him.

When nothing came, Kelly moved closer to her, one foot in front of the other, slowly crouching down by her side. "Gabby?" But she hadn't moved, her eyes locked on the table, the small scratch holding her attention more than what Kelly was able to get. "Gabs?" He tried again, taking in her face more, she looked shocked, her eyes empty and dark.

"It's Kelly…"

There it was, the flash that entered her eyes, the slight movement of her eyes telling him that she had actually heard him. Shining in her eyes was shock and fear and anger. Kelly didn't need to be told what had just happened.

"Don't tell Matt…"

Clearing his throat, Kelly sighed, his hand resting against Gabby's knee, her hand rushing to her cheek quickly, brushing away the tear that fell from her eyes. Kelly didn't want to hide things from Matt, this was not something he wanted to keep from him but Gabby was the one who he was worried about, he had been by her side when things had gone to shit the first time and he would be by her side this time as well.

* * *

Matt was giddy – you would have to have been blind not to see how happy he was and it had already was a topic of discussion from the others in the truck but he really didn't care. After everything that had happened with Hallie and the shit he had gone through after their breakup, he was finally starting to be happy.

Hermann had decided to start ribbing him on the way back to the house after they had filled up with gas. Cruz had made a comment about Casey looking antsy about getting back, Hermann cracking in about wanting to see his girl. And so he had become to topic of discussion, a smirk the only thing Matt could give in return.

"Go on, run off to your girl!" Hermann yelled as Matt jumped out of the truck, his heavy boots landing on the ground with a thud, his jacket haphazardly draped over his door handle, the smirk still there. Something about 'young love' called out behind him.

Pushing open the common room doors, Matt looked around, Gabby not insight, but Kelly was, nodding his head towards the back of the house, Matt understood that he was telling him that he was to head into the bathroom. "Showers" was the mumble as he passed Kelly, his smirk getting wider.

Matt was thankful that Shay was sitting by Kelly, she had heard what he had told Matt, knowing that she wouldn't go looking for Gabby, it meant that Gabby and he would be able to be alone. Slipping through the common room, Matt found himself standing at the heavy wooden door, the label on the front had been slipped across to say 'Ladies' which also meant that no one would be coming in.

Pushing open the door slowly, the sound of the water instantly hitting his ear, the warm rush of air blowing over his face. Smiling to himself, he moved closer to the showers, the curtain pulled on the only one telling him exactly where she was.

With one quick glance behind him, Matt pulled at the back of his shirt, the material falling from his body, his boots, pants and boxers following instantly. Pulling back the curtain, Matt stepped inside the small stall, his hands slipping around her waist instantly. He felt the little jump she gave as his hands touched her but then her body relaxed into his, her shoulder dropping and a deep sigh coming from her lips.

Gabby had been so lost in her own thoughts that when those hands touched her, she had jumped but after a moment, she sensed exactly who was behind her, the soft of his touch, the warmth of his breath. This was exactly what she needed right now. He was exactly what she needed. A shoulder to lean on and her boyfriend to hold her.

She felt his hands slip around her waist, the content sigh slipping from his throat as his lips touched her neck. "You ok?" He sounded concerned, husky-she tensed in his arms.

Gabby wanted to tell him everything, well everything that had only just happened but she knew he would be angry, he would get tense and quiet and no doubt do something that he would regret. But she was happy in his arms, their small shower stall holding them close, the water rushing over her body. "I'm ok..." she mumbled.

Matt nodded against her, another kiss touching her collarbone and another just under her ear. She shuddered; he had a way with her already, after only the one night together, he could read her body and she would let him. Gabby dropped her head back to his shoulder, groaning at his touch, the beat looking in her stomach as she felt him pressing against her.

She did really want to tell him, to spill that Jason has come to see her, that she was scared and angry and everything in between but she didn't. Instead, Gabby spun in Matt's arms, shed lips locking against his and her arms tightly wrapped around his neck. If she couldn't bring herself to tell him, she would have him instead and she was so glad he didn't push her away.

Matt groaned in surprise, shocked at Gabby's sudden change but also at the movement against his hips, his body reacting to her instantly. As his arms slipped around her waist, he pulled her close to him, the water barely even making in between their bodies. Their tongues battled against each other, fighting for dominance as Gabby grabbed a hold of his hair tightly tugging him closer.

It didn't take long before Matts hands had dipped down her back, over her waist and under her ass, lifting her into the air with ease, while her legs wrapped around his waist, locking tightly. They battled a little more before it became too much for Matt, his need for her taking over.

With a step forward, he braced himself against the cool tiles, his forearm the only thing between the wall and Gabby, her back resting against it but it gave him the leverage he needed to slip into her. Pulling away for a moment, Matt took her in, her dark eyes, red lips, hair falling over her face, the water rolling over her cheeks and her lips. With his free hand, Matt brushed his fingers over her cheek, "beautiful" slipping from his lips, the only encouragement she needed to drop her head his his, their lips locking, Matt slipping into Gabby slowly, a long gasp coming from her lips against his, the slight shock causing her to bite down against his lips.

She had drawn blood, he could taste it and so could she but it turned him on, she was desperate for him and he for her. With the brace against the wall, Matt moved against her, her body drawing him as she clenched around him.

There was something about this-Matt could tell, she wanted him, was desperate in a way that he didn't expect but he was going to give what she wanted, what she needed. Giving her the time to open up. As he moved into her, Gabby couldn't hold the moan that had fought its way from her chest, his teeth sinking into his shoulder to quieten the moan just a little.

The sudden rush of pain and ecstasy from her action caused Matt to let lose deep grunt, his thrusts becoming harder and fast, her hands pulling him into her even more. Matt didn't know how much longer he could hold on but from the way she was pulling him against her, he also knew that it wasn't going to take her much longer.

This was desire.

Primal and needy.

This was _them_.

Gabby lifted her head from his shoulder, their eyes locking instantly, their lips meeting in a heated battle, his hips sinking deeper and deeper, the pressure for them both becoming too much. The heated coil that had tightened in Gabby's stomach snapped, her body tightening around Matt with such force that it brought him with her, both crashing over the edge.

Matt could nearly hold himself up anymore, his whole body pressed against Gabby and the wall-both their breathing ragged and rough, their bodies shaking from release. Matt held Gabby against him, not wanting to let her go. "Amazing...you're amazing..." he whispered against her lisps, another kiss before letting her legs fall to the floor gingerly.

She blushed.

Gabby blushed. Together they stood under the now cold water, smiling shyly at each other.

* * *

"So what's going on with you? Having a good time with Casey?" Shay raised her eyebrow at Gabby as she sat beside her in the ambo. She had seen the huge smile that had been on Gabby's face since finding out that she and Matt had gotten together, she liked seeing her friend happy.

A small smile graced Gabby's face, "Yeah, it's been good. Really good actually." Honestly though part of Gabby was just waiting for the other foot to drop. It was obvious across her face that they had been happy but she had known that something was going to happen and that something was Jason.

Shay didn't miss the slightly fall of her smile when she spoke about her and Matt, "Hey what's up? Are you not happy?" Shay was worried, she didn't want to see Gabby upset but she also didn't want to see Matt hurt either.

Snapping her head back up, Gabby shook her head, "No that's not it, I just…I'm used to things not going right for me so I guess I'm just being wary that's all." She shrugged, not wanting to tell Shay too much but also wanting to give her enough that she wouldn't question anymore.

"Oh I get you. Don't worry, Casey is the best man I know."

Gabby nodded again, finding the street around her suddenly more interesting than what was inside the ambo. She couldn't stop thinking about Matt. She loved being around him, waking up in his arms, seeing that goofy smile he got on his face when he was waking up. But she worried that this would be too much, that having Jason back would be bad for them.

Shay worried about Gabby, she had come to learn that look on her face, the one that told her that something was wrong, that behind that smile her mind was running a mile a minute. "You sure you're ok?" But Gabby only nodded again, barely waiting for the ambo to park before she had jumped out and headed to the back of the house – Kelly following the minute that he saw her walking past, her head down and her hands by her face.

And that's where he found her moments later, the old broken chair that usually holds open the back door in her hands, lifted above her head before the threw it against the brick wall, a deep angry cry coming from her lips.

Kelly stepped back as she let it fly, making sure that it didn't hit him but he watched her spin on her heals. "FUCK!" It was loud, he would be surprised if the guys inside hadn't heard the commotion, but he was glad that they hadn't so far. "Fuck I hate him! I just…ARGH!" clenching her fits, Gabby let out another cry, this time turning away from Kelly, her whole body slacking as the emotions left her.

Then there was just silence.

Nothing but silence.

Turning to find Kelly just leaning up against the brick wall, Gabby raised her eyebrow. This was the sort of friendship she had with Kelly, he could read her inside out. He knew when to let her scream and cry or when she needed a shoulder. "What?" She crossed her arms against her chest, watching him intently.

Shaking his head for a moment, Kelly pushed himself off the wall; he looked towards the closed back door, wondering if Matt would come looking for them both. "I was just wondering if you were still in there. That's all…" And then he turned, leaving her standing on her own, a slight smile coming to her lips but it faded, this was still a serious situation and she didn't know how she was going to handle it.

* * *

Matt was curious; he had always been a curious person when it came to those around him, those who he felt the most for, but he wouldn't ever push anyone. He knew that with Kelly or Andy or even Christie that if they needed him they would come to him but that didn't meant he wasn't curious when he watched Kelly walk back into the common room from the back of the firehouse.

His first thought was _"When did he go out the back?"_ but his second thought was that something had changed on his face, it was as if he has grown another frown line, as if the weight of the world was suddenly on his shoulders, but Matt wouldn't never push.

And Matt knew he would never push Gabby, who had just happened to walk in behind Kelly moments later. Her eyes downcast, shoulders sagging as if in defeat. She looked small and sad and _scared_ but he could also see fire behind her eyes, a burning desire that he couldn't quite pinpoint.

He watched as she moved around the kitchen, not really doing much but seemingly keeping herself busy, but he could still see her hands shake a little - she had shoved them back into her pocket the instant she had noticed that it was a visible shake but she hadn't seen him watching her.

He always watched her.

Matt wanted to know she was ok, that something terrible hadn't happened on their last call or that she hadn't gotten a phone call about her brother. But the fact that she wouldn't even look up at him, told Matt that he was going to show her that he was there for her.

He sat by the round table, his hand resting against his chin as she moved around the common room, a quick glance shot in Kelly's direction before she would even raise her eyes to Matt, a half smile coming to his her lips, but it didn't reach her eyes.

That's where she stood, on the other side of the table, each just watching the other until Matt raised his hand to her, a small peace offering that he hoped she would take it. With their eyes locked, Gabby raised her hand to his, clasping it tightly as she came to sit by his side, almost nestled against him, he placed a kiss on her forehead, letting her just rest against his side.

* * *

Matt grunted into consciousness at around 3am, he knew it was still late, his body clock telling him that it was way before dawn but he couldn't understand why there was a light across his face.

What he did know was that he was laying stomach down in the warm and soft bed, his left leg hanging off the side of the bed while the sheets were resting low against his hips, his bare back feeling the coolness of the rest of the room.

What he also knew was that he was alone. His right hand was stretched across the now empty bed where Gabby had fallen asleep hours before, wrapped in his arms tightly. He grunted again, his mind becoming clearer as he awaken a little more, his hand rubbing over his face as he looked around, squinting at the source of the light.

That was where he found Gabby, standing in the middle of large window, the blinds open and the street lights glaring into the room. Matt took her in for a moment, the way she stood, wrapped in his oversized hoodie, hanging low around her thighs – God he hoped she hadn't put something on underneath because she looked incredibly sexy dressed like that.

Smiling, Matt pulled himself from the bed, pulling on his black boxers as he went, the cold getting to him a little more than he thought. Padding across the carpet, Matt made his way to Gabby's side, his hands slipping around her waist, pulling her back against his chest.

"What are you doing up? It's late…or really early…" He whispered huskily against her shoulder, the sleep still evident in his voice.

She should have expected to wake him up, he had always been able to sense when she was awake, but she wanted him to sleep, she knew he was tired. They had only been together for about 2 months but they knew what the other needed. Slipping her hands to his, she held them tightly to her stomach, bringing her back even closer to him.

"You sure you're alright babe…I know something I going on…" He hadn't mentioned anything to her but since the week before when he saw something change in her at the firehouse and also Kelly's actions around her, he knew something was bothering her. He had chosen to be by her side and let her come to him.

Dropping her head back against his shoulder, Gabby sighed, she really needed to tell him but she couldn't, she didn't want to ruin what they had, how happy they were. "Yeah. I promise Matt…I'm absolutely perfect…" and she was. That was the honest truth, being there with him, sleeping next to him, spending time with him, being in a relationship with him – that's what was perfect to her.

Gabby felt Matt tense for a moment as she spoke, as if a small part of him was trying to believe her or not but as she turned in his arms, her arms wrapping around his neck, he smiled. "Being with you – is absolutely perfect…" gently she placed a kiss on his lips, pulling away just to see his eyes narrow. "I promise…" and with a small nod, he leaned into her, capturing her lips once more, his hands moving from her hips to the back of her leg, lifting it enough that he was able to lift her – thank god she wasn't wearing anything underneath that hoodie!

With a girly squeal, Gabby went to him, letting him lift her into his arm, the stress she had been feeling melting away as he laid her against the soft mattress, bringing him close to her, their lips battling against each other with desire.

The open blinds forgotten about, the world below moving around them.

* * *

"You know…I could love this girl!" Matt laughed as he downed another beer, tipping his head back to finish off the last of it. Kelly was sitting by his side, neither of them were drunk but they had a happy buzz about them. Thankfully the 'girl' in question was on the other side of the bar and out of earshot of what Matt was babbling on about.

She had taken over a shift at Molly's for Otis, Kelly and Matt taking the opportunity to spend some time together, they hadn't had much time to just have a drink and a laugh recently – true Matt had been spending a lot of time with Gabby, but Kelly had been dealing with his dad coming back and it had just taken them away from being able to spend some time together.

Kelly laughed, "Man I think you already do!" it was the truth, Kelly could see the look in Matt's eyes every time he looked at Gabby, they shone or love and respect and desire. But Matt shot a glance to Kelly, almost challenging him. He didn't want to admit he was falling for her already, it was too early – even for them but he couldn't deny he loved the sounds of being in love with Gabriella Dawson.

"It's just…something has changed over the last couple of weeks. She seems different. And I know she is keeping the reason from me, I just don't want to push her into telling me, I just wish she trusted me enough to tell me..." It had been something that had been playing on Matt's mind for a while now, he would catch Gabby staring off into space or that she was a little jumpy when she didn't know he was there.

Matt also knew how close she and Kelly were, they had known each other for longer than Gabby had been working at 51 and if anyone was to know what was going on with her, it was going to be Kelly. "Hey, you know she trusts you. I know she told you about what happened to her in the past, so that has to tell you how much she trusts you…I guess whatever is going on, she is just trying to deal with it herself."

Kelly knew he had to chose his words very carefully. Just because Matt was buzzed didn't mean he wasn't very tuned in when it came to Gabby. "Looks Casey. She does that. When things are going on, she tries to deal with it all herself before she asks for help. It doesn't mean she doesn't trust you, it just means she is stubborn!"

Matt snorted at that last statement, he knew all to well how stubborn Gabby could be. "I know you're right. I just want to make sure she is ok, that's all…"

Staring down the far end of the bar, Matt's eyes locked with Gabby who smiled brightly, her eyes shining with happiness as she made her way to him, placing another beer on the bar. "Don't tell Herman…on the house baby…" She whispered to him as she leaned over, kissing him forcefully before pulling away before heading to the far side of the bar again.

Matt couldn't drop the smile that was on his face, he really was falling for this girl. Raising his glass to his lips, Matt took another sip, luckily he had placed it back down as someone bumped into his back. Someone throwing a _sorry_ over his shoulder, Matt didn't take much notice, it wasn't the first time someone had bumped into him or he had bumped into someone when Molly's was this busy.

He did however miss the hand that slipped into his jacket pocket as they moved away from him.

* * *

Ok so much shorter than what I wanted but I wanted it to flow to an ending in this chapter and I felt like this was the right place to end it. I hope you are all still interested!

Please review! :D


	12. Carry On

**Yep ok so I am back! Honestly I didn't know if I'd even remember HOW to write! But I want to thank everyone on twitter for reminding me about this, I do promise that I had never forgotten about it, it was always there…just being ignored lol.**

 **So I hope this makes sense, I am trying to move the story along and so there is some times jumps, all around Gabby and Matt. I'm also not 100% on how I've written Matt for this but it kinda felt right I guess, but anyway, please review and let me know what you think :D**

* * *

 **Chapter 12 – Carry On**

Gabby laughed as she reached out for Matt's hand; the air was cold around them as they left Molly's, a shiver running through her body. "Baby…you're freezing!" Matt laughed as he wrapped his jacket around Gabby's shoulders, watching her snuggle into the jacket. "I'm almost 100% sure this is why you never bring your own jacket when we go out."

The look she gave him back was enough to make his heart burst, it was a shy smile but her eyes shone with teasing. She had almost always _forgotten_ to bring a jacket with her when they went out, mostly because she loved when he would wrap his jacket around her shoulders and pull her into his arms. "I'm sure I don't know what you are talking about Mr. Casey…" She smiled, bringing her body against his.

"Oh really now…" Matt pulled her closer, dropping his lips to hers; he rested against her for a moment, just breathing in her scent. "I can't wait to get you home baby…" he smiled against her lips, feeling her smile back.

"Me either…but I just realised that I left my bag inside…would you mind?" batting her eyelids at Matt, Gabby hoped that Matt would go back in for it, she really didn't want to go back into Molly's, she was enjoying the fresh air.

Rolling his eyes, Matt moved away from Gabby, laughing again at her antics.

Gabby watched him go as she hailed for a cab, neither having driven that night, she knew that it would be the best for both of them. Stuffing her hands into the pocket of his jacket, Gabby tried to warm up, her fingers curling around something that crunched under the movement, drawing her attention, she pulled her hand back from the pocket, straightening whatever it was that had made that sound.

As the item came into focus, it was clear that it was a picture, a picture that caused Gabby's world to stand still, her stomach dropped and it felt like her heart had been ripped in two.

It was a photo of her.

And Matt.

It was a photo of her and Matt in front of their window, Gabby in his arms, while they made out, the dark of their bedroom around them.

She recognised that still shot, it was when he had woken up and found her staring out into the darkness, when he had come to her and held her tightly. Where she had wrapped her legs around his waist as they made out, before moving to the bed, making love for the rest of the night.

Someone taken that photo.

Someone had been watching them.

Someone had put that photo in Matt's pocket, hoping that he would find it.

Gabby's hands shook as she looked down at the picture, a sickness coming over her as she tired to steady herself. She knew who had taken this photo but how was she going to explain this to Matt. She was trying to move on with her life, with Matt but she couldn't do that if he kept coming back.

"Hey sorry, Herman couldn't find it-"

Matt's voice caught her attention, quickly stuffing the picture back into the pocket before Matt could see it. He came to stand behind her, "But we found it in the end." He had noticed her change in demeanour, it was obvious that something had changed over the past 3 minutes but he just wasn't sure what it was.

Placing his hands on her shoulders, "You ok?" Gabby jumped, pulling away from him before pulling the jacket tighter around her body, almost as though she would be protecting herself.

"Oh yeah…just in my own world, Sorry…lets go home. I'm pretty tired to be honest with you." Turning away from him, Matt watched as she reached out her hand to hail for a cab, one stopping almost instantly. He wasn't going to question her now about it, it was late and they were both tired but it was something that he wasn't going to let up.

Once they arrived home, Matt could tell something was different, obviously something was different but he watched Gabby as she moved around the house, closing all the blinds harshly, making sure the windows were locked – and considering they were coming into winter, the windows were always locked.

He watched her move, the one-track mind of her movements, the concentration as she made her way through each room and then straight passed him towards the bedroom. She had barely said a word to him on the way home and hadn't said one since stepping inside. Matt knew that she would tell him when she was ready, that he couldn't force it out of her but the sudden change in her demeanour concerned him.

There as nothing but silence as he followed her towards the bed, watching as she undressed slowly, careful to hide her body from him but then she just slipped under the covers, pulling them up around her neck, she turned away from him, putting as much distance between them as possible.

Matt sighed before he slipped into bed behind her, knowing that she wanted space but also wanting for her to know that he was there for her no matter what, he pulled her into his arms, breathing in her as he held her close.

* * *

Matt watched as Gabby sat by the table, her head in her computer as she typed away. She had been quiet, that was for sure but it had been almost two weeks since he had noticed the change in her demeanour, she had tried to stay away from him, she had flinched one or twice when he had tried to touch her, needless to say - sex was not on the table either. But he wouldn't push her, wouldn't get upset with her, he men her note term than that and it was obvious that something was going on.

He had tried to ask her about it, once during the week, he had wrapped his arms around her waist, pulled her into him. She had resisted for a moment but eventually had relaxing into his touch.

 _"Hey baby, what's going on? You seem very far away...what's going on in that kind of yours?" He had waited for a moment, a moment with no reply before he had turned her in his arms, making her face him. "Gabby I'm worried, what is going on with you? I am really worried..."_

 _But her reaction wasn't what he had expected. "I'm fine Matt really. Jesus you get grumpy with no sex. Fuck..." She pushed him away, mumbling to herself. It shocked Matt, he had never pressured her into sex and he hadn't even brought the fact that she hadn't been interested over the last week._

 _"Gabby...I never said anything about sex. I just wanted you to know that I'm worry about you...you haven't been yourself lately, that's all." But all he got in return was another mumble about being busy before she left him standing in their kitchen- confused and even more worried than before._

 _Deciding that he had enough of being in the dark, matt made his way over to gabby, thinking very carefully over what he was going got say to her. He didn't want to upset her and make her push him away even more but he needed to find out what is going on._

 _Slowly, he sat by her side at the round table, his hand reaching out even more slowly to close her laptop, giving her time to question his actions and grieving him time to judge her reactions. It was almost as though she knew he was going to do this, she didn't fight him or yell, she didn't tell him to stop or even look surprised._

 _Once the laptops as closed, Matt reached out for her hand, holding it tightly. "Gabby…please baby. I am worried about you. I know something has changed, something is different and you know that I would never fore you into telling me or push up but I know you can't sleep and I know you're jumpy..."_

 _Matt felt like he was begging her, maybe in part he was begging her but he didn't know what else to do, he didn't know how else to get through to her._

 _Gabby watched him for a few seconds, she was reading his face, reading his eyes, the pain, the worry, the understanding...she didn't know how long she could keep hiding all of this from him. Nodding a couple of times, Gabby turned her hand in his, gripping his fingers tightly before standing. Confusing him a little, she just gave him a slight smile, one that told him that she would be back._

 _And after a few minutes Gabby did make her way back to him, her hand grasping something very tightly, whatever it was, she didn't want to give it up just yet. Siting she took her seat again, the same place she had been before matt had sat down._

 _It took her a few moments before she spoke, swallowing a couple of times before she found her voice. Well not so much her voice her courage. Slowly, she raised her hand and placed what she was holding tightly onto the table, never once looking at Matt, too scared and ashamed of what she was giving him._

 _"This was left in your jacket pocket the other night at Molly's, I found it when I asked you to go back and get my bag for me…" She couldn't look at him, to afraid of his reaction to what he was looking at._

 _Silence engulfed them both as Matt took in what was in his hands, the photo of them both, as intimate as they could have gotten and here was a photo of it, from outside the apartment._

 _Many emotions ran through Matt as he sat there, anger, disgust, fear but none of them would show, he was too shocked. Slowly he looked up at Gabby, taking in her downcast demeanour. But nothing was said between them as he reached out for her hand, taking it gently in his before he gave it a squeeze._

 _"We will get through this…" the only words coming from his mouth._

And that was the last they had spoken about it. He had tried to get more from her as the days went on, not wanting to push too much too soon but she was stonewalling him. Either ignoring the questions or brushing him off, but he would always watch out for her.

Especially when she started the inevitable downward spiral. 

* * *

"3, 2, 1!" Gabby laughed loudly as she downed another shot, Molly's had been busy, not busy enough that it required her to behind the bar and so she had taken up refuge on the other side, same as she had done many nights beforehand. Matt just watching on as she flung her head back, drinking down another shot, her 4th – no 5th shot of the night.

Was he concerned?

Absolutely.

Would he say something?

Not just yet.

He knew she had things going on, that she was trying to cope with whatever it was that she had going on but he also knew that there was a time when he was in her position, drinking to get drunk, not caring about the world around as long as there was alcohol.

He had been the one to push everyone away when he was at his lowest point, not wanting help from anyone, even telling Kelly that he didn't need him. And at the time, he wanted to believe it. After everything that Hallie had done and everything he went through, Matt felt like he deserved to give up a little, that he didn't owe the world anything when the world didn't help him out.

He remembered the days that he would wake up so hung over that he honestly couldn't move. The days that he would be sick from drinking so much and then he remembered the day that Gabby had found him, passed out on his couch.

Gabby had been there for him when he had needed it the most, she had tried to help him out, tried to be by his side when he didn't want her there but in the end she was always there. And he had pushed her away with such force that he still, to this day, wondered how and why she had stayed around.

And right now, the roles were reversed, Gabby had told him that she didn't need any help; that she was fine and that she was coping on her own. Of course he knew differently but he would always be there, just at the side, watching her to make sure she wasn't hurting herself or doing anything she would really regret. He was in her shadow, letting her deal as best she knew how for as long as she needed before reaching out to him. He knew that if he pushed her, she would shut down forever.

"Hey man…you gonna let her keep doing this to herself? It's been what…2 weeks where she has come in drinking like this?" Kelly and Herman had taken up residence by his side, both just as much concerned about Gabby as Matt was. Kelly knowing that there was something more happening but Gabby had pushed him away as well. Telling him at one point in no uncertain terms that she was an adult and could take care of herself.

Matt sighed, he knew Kelly was right but the last time he had tried to get Gabby to slow down, she had laughed, pushed him away and gotten something else from behind the bar. And so he promised himself that he would always just be there to watch over her. "Yeah I know man, but you said it yourself…she tried to work through things herself because she reaches out. I'm not going to push her. I tired that – didn't work. So I'll just be here, waiting and making sure she doesn't do anything too stupid…And it's been three weeks…"

Kelly sighed but nodded, wanting to ask Matt more about it but he wouldn't say anything in front of Herman. Luckily Herman had been pulled away from them, customers needing a drink. "What's really going on? You seem too calm to be letting her go like this. What do you know?" He was testing Matt, wondering how much Gabby had told him.

Matt waited for a moment, not sure how Kelly would react to what he was going to say but he also knew that Kelly had known Gabby before she came to the fire house, he had helped her out in the past. Turning to his friend, Matt sighed, "Jason is back."

That was all he needed to say to get the reaction he was expecting from Kelly. Matt bringing his drink up to his lips, "It's ok, I know you knew. I figured you did. Gabby hasn't told me but she started acting really strange one week after we left Molly's and then she gave me this that same week…" Matt pulled out the photo that Jason had stuffed in his pocket that night, the one that Gabby had found. Under the bar he showed Kelly, not wanting to bring to much attention to what was going on.

"What the hell?" Kelly was becoming furious, he had no idea that he was taking photos of her, of them. "Why the hell do you have that?" He was also confused as to why Matt was carrying it around with him.

Matt shrugged, "I guess its because I tried to bring it up a few weeks ago again and she almost tore me a new one. I carry it around to remind myself why I am watching out for her and making sure she does explode while giving her the belief that she can. You and I both know there would be no reason for me to force her into telling me, she would kick my ass and send me packing and then where would I be?"

Kelly knew he was right but that still didn't meant he liked how this was going. Jason was back and Matt had a photo of them together. They both knew that was not the end of it all but they also knew that they would both be watching over Gabby to make sure she was always safe. When the time was right, Matt would approach Gabby about what he had found.

Both of them turned towards Gabby, an inner anger still building in Matt. He wanted to yell and scream and break something at the thought that someone was following Gabby or at least taking her picture. He also wanted to yell and scream that she wouldn't do anything about it but he was glad she had told him about it, it meant that he was now able to keep her safe while letting her think she was losing it.

* * *

Coughing.

Coughing is what brought Matt back from his sleep, the harsh light from the bathroom blinding him as he tried to open his eyes. That's when he realised that Gabby was no in bed with him, that her side of the bed was cold which told him that she had been out for a while. Groaning, he rolled over and padded his way into the bathroom where he found Gabby, hunched over the toilet where she threw up again.

He could tell she had been there a while; she was cold from sitting against the tiles, her forehead covered in sweat as her body revolted against itself. Leaning over, Matt placed his hands against the side of her face, pulling back the hair that was there, feeling just how sweat drenched she was.

Sighing deeply, Matt could do nothing but rub her back and let her continue, whispering to her quietly as she cried in pain as her body hurt. "Oh Gabby…" He hated seeing her do this to herself, he hated that she was fighting back the pain from what had been happening around with alcohol. He knew she was stronger than that, he knew she was stronger but obviously she was cracking just a little bit.

Eventually they sat back, Gabby tired and feeling horrible from being sick and Matt just tired. Too many times had he woken up to this scene or to the sound of the shower running in the middle of the night. "Baby…I think we need to talk to Antonio or at least Ruzek…you can't keep doing this to yourself and I know that you won't feel better if we don't start being proactive about Jason. I know you want to move on from all of this…please let me help you do that…"

But all he received in return was the silent tears that fell down her cheeks and the heartbreaking sobs of a woman who was fighting a losing battle to keep her walls up.

* * *

Matt stepped out of the bedroom, he had woken up once again to an empty cold bed, something that had been happening more often than not over the last month. As he padded down the cold hallway he could hear a sound coming from the rest of house; it wasn't loud but he could hear it. And he knew exactly what that noise was...he'd heard it a few times before, once very recently when he had heard Gabby with Kelly.

And he hated that sound.

It was heartbreaking to hear Gabby crying, to hear the pain she was in but also see how hard she fought to push it aside and pretend like she was ok. She had been putting a brace face in front of the rest of the firehouse but she had let it down in front of Kelly and Antonio, they had both told him to be there for her but so far she hadn't cracked in front of him.

With the others, it was short freak out, a bit of hysterical crying, there was a bit of screaming and then she was ok. She would straighten her back, take a deep breath and move on. Antonio said it was her way of coping, that she had always been like that but to be sure to be around because usually those outbursts were the calm before the storm and he knew that the storm was coming.

And the storm was just about to touch down.

He had woken to the sound of silence and cries.

Moving quietly into the living room, he found Gabby sitting on the floor in front of the couch, her back resting against it, legs crossed. There was a bottle of wine lying empty on the coffee table on its side and the glass in her hands was well on it's way go being empty, her shaking hands holding it tightly. Matt knew that she hadn't opened that bottle earlier in the night – the last bottle they had opened had been a bottle of white – not red.

Her head was resting to the side against the seat of the couch, her long dark hair cascading over her face like curtains, her eyes closed and her cheeks tear stained; she looked like she was about to explode, he could see that her heart was going to explode like the Fourth of July.

"Gabs?" He tired softly not to startle her; she wasn't asleep, that he could tell, the rapid movement of her chest told him that she was still awake. He knew she had heard him; her hand had waved around her head as though it was an invitation into the room, into _her_ room.

Moving close to her, he could smell the rich grape of the wine, it was clear that she had drunk the whole bottle and he knew what red wine did to her, he knew how drunk she got on red wine but he also knew that she didn't drink red unless something was going on, whether it was a bad day on shift or just having a bad day with the memories of what had happened in her past but it was never more than a glass and never not with Matt by her side, sharing a drink and a laugh.

Then she chuckled, a deep, dry chuckle, it was something Matt wasn't expecting, something that was completely out of place in the scene around him. Rolling her head to the middle of the couch Gabby opened her eyes, looking towards her boyfriend, her eyes narrowing as she took him in, almost as thought she didn't see him at all or as though she was looking right through him.

She swore under her breath, her eyes never leaving his before she stood suddenly, the glass tipping onto its side, the small contents of the wine dripping down the side, staining the cream carpet at her feet.

"Jesus fucking Christ Matt!" She exploded. Her hands at her side, fists clenching tightly. "Stop looking at me like this is a fucking shock! Don't look at me like you have never seen me drunk and don't look at me like I'm some sort of sinner for drinking! I'm not perfect or you're fucking shining star!"

Matt watched Gabby closely for a second, a look of confusion crossing his face, his brow furrowing in confusion. He was shocked, not so much at her outburst, considering he had expected it but at what she had said; why would she think he thought that of her. Raising his hands slowly, Matt all but backed up, showing that he was giving her space. His reply was soft, barely above a whisper, "Yes I know...I never said you were..."

They stared each other down for a moment, Gabby almost challenging him to come towards her, challenging him to say something more.

Suddenly Gabby made a rush towards the kitchen, Matt not sure what she was looking for – he hoped she wasn't going to find more alcohol. He was also just a quick as her, Matt followed her towards the kitchen, barely a step behind her he reached out for her arm, stopping her in her tracks.

Quickly he had her against the fridge, their bodies pressed against each other tightly, letting him look down at her. His hands were gripping her wrists, not letting her move, but holding her close as she tried to pull against him, her body rocking against his to try and push him off. "I know! I know! I never said you are...but I care about you and I'm really worried baby..." he let her wrists go a little, brushing one hand against her cheek.

She had stopped trying to fight against him but she wouldn't look at him, her head was down, anger and alcohol still coursing through her. "I've never been through hell like you have but I know you can't look back..."

But she scoffed, rolling her eyes, this time she pushed against his chest, trying to push him away. "If I shouldn't look back, why the fuck won't you touch me anymore? It's because of my past you won't touch me!" She pushed against his chest again, harder this time, as much force as she could mister, trying to push him away.

Matt held his spot, his hands against the fridge, locking her in place, he wasn't going to let her push him away that easily, "That has nothing to do with it Gabby and you know that. Gabby…hey Gabby!" Finally, she looked at him, her lips tight still, "I'm worried about you. Over the last month, you haven't been yourself. I know that you are not coping with Jason being back but you won't let me help you; I'm not stupid all right. And I've tried…I've tried to let you go and do your own thing, I've tried to be there for you if and when you need it but Jesus Gabby, stop pushing me away! I'm just trying to help you."

But there wasn't much more that he could say to her, the whole bottle of wine was really starting to get to her, she was starting to sway on feet. Matt lowered his voice, trying to gauge what her next reaction would be. But when nothing came, he tried another approach. Letting his mouth open once or twice, Matt spoke softly, "...I love you..."

Gabby's eyes widened, her breathing deep and chesty. _I love you_. What the hell was he thinking? That now was the right time to tell her that he loved her?

When she was drunk.

And angry.

Boy was he wrong.

There was silence, painful, echoing silence for what felt like forever. Matt could almost hear his heart beating in his chest as he waited for some sort of reply for Gabby. He wanted to believe that her reaction would be positive, that there would be some happiness from her but the blank stare that he was getting from her was painful to say the least.

Gabby looked as though she was seeing him for the first time – their first time, when there was no love between them. She looked shocked and angry and confused. He then saw the realisation in what he had said coming to her face. Her whole face softened for a moment as the words sunk in but then hardened once again.

" _Love_? You _love_ me? Jesus Matt!"

 _Love?_ How the hell did he think that tell her that was a good idea? Why would he even think that that was something she wanted or needed to hear? She suddenly felt like a wave had come over her and in a quick movement, Gabby had pushed Matt away from her, her hands against his chest, the forcefulness of the pressure against his chest sent Matt back a few steps, enough room for Gabby to move out from under him.

What he was greeted with then was rage that he hadn't ever experienced from her, rage that echoed throughout the walls of their home. The next thing was the wine glass that came crashing by his head, glass shattering around him.

* * *

 **So what do you think? Please…don't yell at me lol Any love?**


	13. Seasons

**Hey all! So I've struggled with motivation of at kinda] recently so I hope this is worth the wait, I was going for a chapter that WASNT a filler and I do hope that this fits that.**

 **Thank you too everyone who reviewed and continues to review, i promise that it really does help me write! And also to those lovely friends on Twitter (you know who you are lol) for annoying me about updating.**

 **This is also the first time I'm writing completely on my new iPad apologies for mistakes, getting used to the keyboard!**

 **Please review!**

 **Chapter 13 - Seasons of Love**

Kelly ducked his head as he moved towards his own office, it had been a big weekend for him, something that he didn't actually mind, he just didn't like having to come into work the next day feeling like crap. But it wasn't until he saw Matt coming his way did he finally realise what what crap looked like.

"What happened to you?" He laughed for a second, noticing that Matt looked like hell, looked like he hadn't slept at all. "Gabby keeping you up all night still huh?" He laughed again, until he saw the sadness in Matt's eyes, the darkness that had fallen over his face. Looking over his best friend, Kelly took in his appearance, the wrinkles on his shirt, his red cheeks, "Matt man, what's going on?"

But Matt didn't say anything, he just looked back at Kelly with a sadness that was interrupted by Boden's voice, "Get ready for role call?" Both the men nodded, following him towards the back room. They gathered as Boden started his address, "Good morning all. Now as each of you know we are coming up to our annual -" but he stopped suddenly realising that he was a paramedic short.

He glanced over at both of his lieutenants, Kelly shrugging and Matt just holding his gaze, telling Boden that he didn't know where she was. It was clear that the others had also noticed that she wasn't in the room either. "As I was saying, we are coming up to the annual charity run - you will all be expected to attend the gala dinner. Now for assignments, Kidd you will be joining ambo for the morning, Dawson has an appointment this morning. That's all, have a good shift."

One by one each left the room, leaving just Matt, Kelly, Boden and Shay. It wasn't until the door closed behind the last person leaving that Boden spoke, "I assume none of you know where Dawson is right now?" The grim look on their faces was enough to tell him all he needed to know. Boden had known something was going on with his paramedic, he had seen her at Molly's the few times he had gone there, he had seen how she was drinking more than it seemed usual but she had always turned up to shift the next day, bright eyed and smile on her face. And the fact that his lieutenant didn't even know where she was concerned him even more.

Looking over to Matt, he watched him for a moment, noticing the dark circles and the look of concern on his own face. "How about you take 81 to fill up on gas. Pretty sure that 1st watch has let it empty again." It was a short nod to Matt who knew exactly what he was asking, Boden was giving him a chance to find Gabby before he called someone else in.

With one last glance towards the others in the room, Matt ducked his head and headed straight for the common room, calling to his men that they were going for a drive.

The drive was silent, Cruz already knowing where he was going, Matt staring out the side window, as he drove. He had no idea what he was going into. He had not idea what he was even going to say to Gabby. All he did know was that he needed to know if she was ok and how he could make it better.

Matt stood silently out the front of their apartment door, he had left last night in a rush, the door closing silently behind him, it was an aggressive silent but silent nonetheless. He honestly didn't know what to expect when he walked in; would the apartment be trashed? Would there be more alcohol bottles around than before he left? Would Gabby be asleep or awake or would she even be there?

He honestly didn't know but at the same time there was a part of him that didn't want to know. Yesterday had been the breaking point for her, it was the time that she finally let herself feel everything that she had been bottling up for a long time. Gabby was strong, maybe the strongest person he had ever met and she was also the sort of person tried to do things on her her, tried to show a brave face because she wanted everyone to know she was able to handle it on her own. But last night had tipped the scales, even before Matt had uttered those three words that he shouldn't have. Gabby had never drank on her own- with him yes, and at Molly's yes. She had been getting drunk with people around her, but never on her own.

He had see the change in her each night, he had watched her fall further and further from herself, but he would always be there to help her back up, to hold her hair back when she was sick or to drive her home when she had had enough. It had worried but him he was always there, looking out for her.

But last night she had let herself drink alone, she had spent the night on the couch with a bottle (or two) of wine. She had let her emotions get take over her and she had finally let it all out. Last night was the dam breaking.

Last night when he had left, it wasn't because he was walking out on her, it wasn't because he wanted to leave, he left because he needed space and wanted to give Gabby space as well. It was the first time one of her outburst was directed at him, granted he had probably encouraged it by saying _I love you_ , but he knew they would both need some space.

The minute he had closed the door behind him last night, he had realised just how far down the rabbit hole Gabby had gone, he could see glimpses of her trying to push herself back up but he knew that the constant reminder that he was out there and possible taking photos of just following her was pushing her back down that hole just a little further.

He had also meant it last night when he had said it and he knew that that was what scared her the most, that he had said it and meant it.

He loved her, he didn't want to hide it anymore, not from her or the world but it was new and different and scary. For them both, not just for her. He had also probably said it at the worst time imaginable but he honestly through that it might have helped her just a little.

Sighing, he glanced back to truck and ambo behind him, both wanting to make sure Gabby was ok when she didn't turn up for work that morning, also so they could take her to the firehouse when she was ready. Pushing open the front door, Matt took a deep breath, steadying himself for what he might see.

The apartment was quiet, it was still only 8.45am so that's not a surprise but it was still, almost as though no one was there. Moving further into the living room, Matt noticed that there was another opened bottle of wine on the coffee table-but the still full glass told him that it hadn't been drunk.

As he moved further into their apartment, he could hear every creek of his boots on the wooden floor boards, each step making him wondering if Gabby would hear him or how she would react to see him standing there after he walked out last night.

That's when he noticed Gabby, curled up on the couch, her hands clutched to her chest, dry tear stains down her cheeks. She she fallen asleep on the couch after he had left, no doubt the alcohol taking over. Reaching for the open bottle and the glass, he moved them towards the kitchen, his boots crunching over the shattered glass from last night, the wine stain having dried, he made a mental note that he would have to clean that when he got back from shift.

Moving back towards the living room, Matt sat against the coffee table, hands on his lap as he took all of Gabby in, she looked so small and lost, very different from the angry woman he saw a last night but this was how she coped, Antonio and Kelly had told him as much.

"Gabby..." Touching her cheek gently, Matt watched as her face scrunched up, unsure of what was going on. "Come on baby..." He was trying to sooth her awake, not to frighten her. That's when he reached down to her hands, holding onto her tightly clasped hands, he noticed what she was holding.

He had given her a bracelet one day when they had started dating, it was something he had seen one day and instantly thought of her, she had loved it, wearing it everywhere or always having it in her bag when she was on shift. It was then he realised that she might have thought he wasn't coming back when he had walked out.

"You came back..." Gabby's voice caught his attention and his eyes flashed up to meet hers, a very unsure look on her face, she has said exactly what he had been thinking and part of that scared him. She really did believe that he wasn't going to come back. But Matt smiled gently, letting her know that it would be OK, that he would always come back.

"We were worried when you didn't come in this morning..." he watched her look over his shoulder at the clock behind him, her eyes narrowing as if she couldn't understand what time it was but then her eyes fell for the clock to him once more, taking in his turn out gear, the sudden realisation that it was after start of shift and she was still at home.

Matt helped Gabby sit up slowly, her head spinning as she tried to right herself before slowly standing, swaying on her feet a little but she kept Matt at a distance, not wanting to have to rely on him for help. Blinking she looked around, her eyes falling on the shattered glass on the floor, the red stain on the wall and ground. It all came back to her - the late night argument with Matt, his _I love you_ and her throwing the wine glass at him. She hated that she had done that, hated that she had taken her anger out on him but she also couldn't believe he had told her that he loved her.

Did she love him? She honestly could have said absolutely but last night was not the place and considering what she had been through recently, it really wasn't the right time to say it. Part of her was angry again, at herself, at him, at everything. So instead of saying anything, Gabby pushed herself past him, making her way towards the bedroom.

Sighing, Matt rubbed the back of his neck, he hated when she did this, pushed him way, tried to work through everything on her own. He really did wish that she would let him help her. Step by step he followed her back to the bedroom where he found her dressing slowly, peeling off layer after layer of her worn clothing before searching for her uniform.

"Gabby baby...you can't go on like this..please, I need you to stop and listen to me..." he reached out his hands, trying to stop her movements, trying to get her attention. But Gabby pulled her hands away, her fingers continuing to button her pants.

No matter what he did, he couldn't stop her movements until he stood in front of her, his hands on her shoulders where he stopped her movements. "Please stop." He didn't want to be forceful with her but he needed her to stop what she was doing.

This was when Gabby spoke, her eyes narrowing at him. "You left Matt, you walked away. You told me that you loved me and then you left. Don't you dare stand there and tell me that I need to stop ok." She was mad, he can't just come back into her apartment and expect everything to be ok after he had just walked out on her.

"I didn't leave you Gabby, I needed space and honestly so did you. God Gabby you threw a glass at me!" He moved away from her, his own frustration coming out. Groaning he sat on the side of their unused bed. "I didn't want to leave last night Gabby but you made it clear that you didn't want me around last night and I didn't want to push you."

All he heard was Gabby pulling her shirt over her head, the rustling of her hair and the huff that came as she grabbed her jacket, "Tell me again how you love me. That will just make it all better." And then she was gone. Leaving Matt on his own one again, the front door slamming closed as she left.

* * *

The fire house was quiet when they all returned, Gabby had been dragged into Boden's office, given a earful about being on time and then she had taken her spot back on ambo as if nothing had happened. But it was clear to everyone that something had happened between her and Matt, it was just that no one was willing to say anything.

Gabby had hold herself up in the back of the ambo, taking inventory and just generally ignoring the world around her. Matt had decided to do the same - he had shut himself way in his office, using the time to go through his reports and finish up anything he hadn't already. That was until Kelly decided to make his presence knowing.

"You wanna talk about it?" Before Matt could tell him to leave, Kelly had already taken a seat on Matt's bed, watching until Matt had actually turned to face him.

Glancing over at the photo of himself and Gabby, Matt wasn't really sure what to say. Kelly had known Gabby for a very long time, Kelly knew her better than he did. "Just struggling man really. Gabby is struggling, I'm struggling. We got into it last night - late - and I ended up here...sleeping on my cot when I should have been at home with my girlfriend." Matt knew he shouldn't have left, but he had honestly needed space after Gabby had thrown that glass at him. She had never taken her anger out on him.

Kelly sighed as he watched Matt, he knew it was hard, Gabby had been through a lot and he knew how hard it had been for her the first time, he could see how hard it was for her this time as well. "Look man, I'm not going to pretend to give you any relationship advice coz well you know me better than that..." he snorted a little laugh when he saw the look that Matt had given him before continuing, "I just think that after the shit you went through will Hallie and the shit that Gabby went through before all this, you both deserve something good and you are each other's something good. Talk to her, argue with her, god even right with her, but don't ignore each other until what you could have had and should have had disappears coz you're both too angry and stubborn to even talk about it."

With that Kelly stood from the bed, leaving Matt alone with his thoughts, trying to also work out how Kelly Severide actually was capable of giving _good_ relationship advice.

* * *

Matt looked around as he took in where he was, the place was dark, not very well lit but also because it was small, nothing like Molly's. It didn't take him long to find who he was looking for, the dark haired man sitting at the bar, his back to the door. Slowly Matt made his way over to his side, not wanting to bring too much attention to the situation from the few other people that were in the bar at midday.

He took the seat next to the man, a beer already placed in front of him, nodding his thanks to the bartender. They all sat in silence for a few moments, nothing being last between the two me, both knowing the other but neither saying a word. An that was getting to Matt, this man - who had been taking photos of him and Gabby, who had been taunting her for months now was jut sitting beside him, drinking a beer and chewing his gum. And as long as the silence stretched between them, the angrier Matt got.

Downing the last of the beer in front of him, the soft sound of the TV running in the background, Matt thought for a moment, he could walk away but he has never really been the sort of person to walk away from a situation. And so with the silence stretched between them both, the bar tender just walking back and forward, clean and washing, no attention paid to the two men sitting at his bar. Matt felt the anger rising, his words catching painfully in his throat.

Instead the sound of a breaking glass suddenly echoed through the quiet bar.

It happened in a blur-the stool underneath Jason was kicked away with a loud crash, those who were in the bar looking up in shock at the sound. Matt's hand then wrapped around the back of the his neck, pushing him forward, his head slamming into the bar top, his glass shattering against the ground as it flew off the bar top.

"Stay the hell away from Gabby. Do you hear me you son of a bitch, you come near Gabby one more time and I will bury you." Jason struggled against Matt"s hold, the hand on the back of his neck pushing him painfully into the wooden top. Matt's full weight against him.

But Jason was able to get out of his grip, pushing Matt backwards, he swung, a fist connecting with the side of Matt's fa ebullient not before Matt was able to land his own punch, sending Jason back again the bar top before crashing to the ground.

As the dust settled from the punch thrown, the rest of the people in the bar settling also, Matt leaned over and reached for Jason, his hands clasping tightly around Jason's shirt, "Understand me when I tell you this - Gabby is not your property, she is not someone who you can break and she is not someone who will break. Stay away from her." With one last shove backwards into the bar, Matt turned on his heels, leaving Jason in a mess on the floor.

"If I can't break her, how come she has been drinking herself drunk the last few weeks? And how come I saw you leave the apartment one night after midnight. I heard the yelling - it sounded awfully upsetting..." Jason laughed as he stood again, brushing himself off, not paying enough attention to have seen Matt turn one again, a fist swinging in his direction - sending him to the ground once again, this time, darkness taking him over.

As Matt left the bar, the shocked and nervous bartender called out to him, "I'm gonna call the cops" but Matt just kept on his way, shrugging as the bar door closed behind him.

* * *

Kelly had come over to spend some time with Gabby after everything had happened, Matt had told her that he was going out and they were both still on iffy terms after their fight the week before. Gabby was really starting to feel the pain of what had happened and what she had said and done the problem now was that she was fighting against herself to try and get her life back in order. She had spent so long being angry with everything that she had lost sight of what she did have and what was around her.

The first thing he noticed was that Matt wasn't there, the apartment was quiet except for the TV which was on low, Gabby curled up on the couch with a blanket as he walked in the door. He had told her that he was going to come over to watch the game - something he figured Matt would be around for, giving him time to watch them both and try to get a better idea of what was going on.

But when it was just her on the couch, he knew he really needed to find out what was going on. Lucky for him, after everything that Gabby had been through, he has always been able to get her to open up. He hoped tonight would be the same. "Hey kid." He took the seat next to her on the couch, Gabby instantly turning into his side, the brotherly love taking over as they just fell into silence, the TV the only source of sound.

They had been watching TV for almost an hour until Kelly looked at the time, it was almost 10 and Matt still wasn't home yet. He had glanced over at Gabby a few times since he had taken the seat next to her, each time her hands were either playing with the necklace around her neck or the bracelet around her wrist. Both of which were things that were given to her by Matt.

"Are you gonna tell me about it?" Kelly watched as Gabby played with the blanket around her legs, she and Kelly had known each other long enough that she expected him to ask, but Gabby was really hoping that he would just leave well enough alone. "Come on Gabs, what's going on?"

Gabby shrugged, not really knowing what to tell Kelly but also because the she would have to actually tell someone else what had happened that night. "He ah...he told me he loved me." She glanced up at Kelly, wondering if he already knew or what he would think. "Matt...he came to me and told me that he loved me."

Kelly nodded, he had expected Matt to have fallen in love with Gabby, just like Gabby had fallen in love with Matt, but there was something else going on. "I ah...I had been been drinking and Matt had woken up...God! I don't really know what happened next, I remember him telling me that he loved me and that in return I threw a wine glass at him." She shrugged again, "like I said, I don't really remember what happened but I just...I remember the look in his eyes. He looked so _hurt._ And then he just left..."

Kelly watched as Gabby wiped away a tear that had fallen down her cheek. "We haven't really talked about it and it's different between us now." But Kelly couldn't say anything, he just pulled Gabby into his side, letting her had fall onto his shoulder, silence falling over them both.

Sighing Kelly forced her to look at him, "You do know that he does love you though. We can all see it." But this caused Gabby to push herself away from him, standing up suddenly. She was angry with Matt and herself about of this, she didn't need Kelly jumping in as well.

"Oh come on! He says he loves me when I'm drunk and angry and terrified. Why the hell would he do that?"

"Because it's the truth..." the voice that returned to her was not that of Kelly, neither of them having heard him come back through the door as they talked. Gabby glanced up to find Matt standing by the doorway, Kelly with his back to him but they could all tell that something had changed in the air of the apartment.

Silence took over the three of them as Gabby and Matt just watched each other, trying to decide what to say or do next. Kelly felt it was the best time to leave and so with a quick nod to Matt he was out the door, not wanting to over stay.

It felt like forever that they stood there, waiting for the other to make a move, not wanting to be the first to give. But gabby realised that Matt had been the first to give when he had told her that he loved her. Sighing, she dropped her head and moved to lean against the table. "Matt..." but she couldn't find the words.

Dropping his bag by the front door, Matt sighed also. He knew that Gabby was struggling but he never saw her as weak, he would never think that of her, he just didn't know how to actually help her. "I said it because it's the truth Gabby. Did I pick the right time to tell you? Obviously my but it's the truth. I love you." He tried to move closer to her, thankful that she didn't retreat from him.

But instead of going to her side, Matt took a seat at the round table in the dinning area, hoping that maybe she would follow and sit opposite him. She didn't but she did watch him, knowing that they would have to talk. It had been over a week since all this had happened and they knew they needed to sit down together.

"When I told you that I loved you Gabby, it wasn't because you were upset or I thought it was what you wanted to hear, I told you that I loved you because I thought it might help you to know that I _do_ love you. For everything that comes with that, everything you have been through, I love you more and more each day."

But still Gabby said nothing, just watching him, gauging what might come next.

But when Matt didn't speak again, Gabby thought she would take a small chance. Slowly she came to sit opposite him at the table, her hands in her lap, her eyes fixed on the table itself. "I'm sorry I threw the glass at you. Honestly I don't even remember pouring that glass. But I guess that's the point huh. I don't remember much of what has been happening, nights at Molly's, here." She wanted to reach out for him, wanting to touch his hand but she though better of it.

Instead she continued to speak, "I remember the days I begged you to stop drinking, the days that I told you that you deserved better and that you were hurting yourself with what you were doing. I guess I should learn to take my own advice huh." She distinctly remember the day she turned up at Matt's apartment where she had found him passed out on the couch from drinking the night before.

He had done the same to her just over a week ago.

My how the tables had turned.

"I want to be the strong person you say that I am Matt, but it's hard. Jason ruined my life, I never thought I'd get that part of me back again and then I came here, I get a job at 51 and I met you. I got my life back Matt. Parts of it that had nothing to do with him, parts that he had never touched before and then he turns up again."

As she spoke, Matt reached out for her, his hand engulfing her own. They both knew that this conversation wasn't the fix all but it was what they needed.

"You are strong Gabby, we both know you are. No one thinks less of you right now with what you are going through. I know it's rough for you right now but it will get better. You have 51 and Kelly and Shay...and me. We are here for you however you need us, you know that. But...baby...you are scaring me, worrying me with what you've been doing recently. The amount that you are drinking. I just you to safe and I want to make sure that you aren't going to inadvertently hurt yourself."

Gabby nodded, it was hard hearing Matt talk like this but she was an adult and they were in a relationship - she would do her best to take what he was saying.

After a few moments of silence, Gabby let her fingers run over the top of his hand, noticing the harsh broken skin that she found there. Furrowing her eyebrows together, she took a closer look, trying to remember if this was something that he had gotten on shift. But Matt spoke, not hiding anything from her. "I found Jason at a bar this afternoon. I got angry..." their eyes met, a softness coming over her before she sighed.

"Matt...I don't need you to fight my battles for me." It did upset her a little that he had gone after Jason, only because she didn't want him to get hurt and she really didn't trust Jason to not try something just to get back at her.

But Matt shook his head, "I'm not fighting your battles Gabby, you and I both know you don't need a knight in shining armour, but the guy doesn't get to take photos of _us_ and not get what's coming to him." Matt raised his eyebrow at Gabby.

This was true, she couldn't argue with him about that, he was also standing up for himself.

Turning their hands over, Gabby let her fingers entwine with his. "So...where do we go from here?"

 **It's taken a while but there it is! Please review!**


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